a writing on "smell"

What grade are you in? I'd need to have that information, as well as knowing what your specific abilities and strengths were when it came to writing to assign you a grade on this.

In terms of ideas and expression- it's good- though if you're a junior or senior in highschool, I'd expect to see more detail and possibly a little more creativity. Especially with a sensory assignment having to do with smell, I might expect more descriptive metaphors and/or allegories instead of just straight narration.

Heartwarming though, and I related to it. Whenever I smell cantaloupe or biscuits, I think of my grandmother's kitchen - and I get the same feelings you describe - so I know what you're saying. You definitely got the feeling across.

actually.. im a college freshmen.. im still learning how to master it in writing..

So, you're still mastering writing English?

I'm just really confused, because though your word choices are a little strange in some places, you have the use of the semi-colon down perfectly, and that's a concept in punctuation that even native English speakers struggle with- so it's surprising that someone just learning the language recognizes an independent clause and knows how to punctate it.

Your use of pronouns is correct, although capitalization is non-existent in the first paragraph and then suddenly perfect in the second paragraph. And you switch back and forth from past to present tense, and sometimes you use plurals appropriately and then other times you don't.

Your skills are just really scattered. I can't really get a handle on them.
Maybe someone else can help. Sorry.

clearly i wrote this in a rush... >.<

o yea.. i need a bit of help on the creative side...

Smell of "Fried Chicken Wings"


My mom always cooks one of my most favorite dishes; fried chicken wings, which I can never get tired of having it every single night for dinner. The chicken wings create this strong sense of smell that's unforgettable to me. Whenever I sense this smell, I feel that my family is together.

Every time she cooks them, she works her magic in the chicken; she creates this strong, wonderful, yet forgettable sense of smell that catches everyone at their attention in the house. Pretty soon, everyone in my family will be sitting around the dining table, holding their chopsticks separately on each hand, tapping it up and down non-stop on the table, like a bunch of kids waiting for their food. At the dining table, my family laughs, talks and shares things we go through every day. My brother and I always race each other to get the last piece of the delicious chicken wing by stuffing food in our month like a trashcan with vacuum power, which make a huge mess around our mouth. However my dad often wins the last piece and my mom makes a small giggle; she smiles quietly at our silliness in our race for the last piece. My brother and I look at each other's face and laugh out loud at the mess we make to our face; it is quite an enjoyable, yet memorable moment in a family. Seeing everyone in my family are laughing and talking, it's like a simple, but beautiful painting flows in my mind; I feel this warm, gentle and safe air every time I admire the picture, because in that painting, I am with my family, and that's the place where I always belong. The smell has brought everyone in my family to a place where we enjoy each other's company.

Even now as a young adult, I still can't forget that strong smell from those delicious fried chicken my mom makes - it can bring everyone in my family together, no matter how much works are tied to their hands. Whenever I sense the smell of the fried chicken wing, all the troublesome problems seem to fly away; a warm and safe feeling will breeze around me because my family will come to the dining table and enjoy the wonderful "fried chicken wings" that my mom makes.

Nice. Really, if I were you, I'd just hand it in. Your teacher (professor) knows by now any limitations you might be working with or through and I'm sure will take that into account when assigning you a grade.

Good luck.