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Tue 7 Nov, 2006 01:42 am
If you read please leave feed
Final Destination
In the dark of the night this man sits with barely a spark for a light
His broken heart spreading wings for a flight then takes off outta his sight
Starring at the stars in the sky dreaming of her and wondering why
He finds it so hard without her by his side away from his life
On this hill he's contemplated and debated why he was feeling this pain
In his brain he's dedicated and commemorated his words with no shame
Standing in the rain trying to feign that he was feeling no pain
His soul found bound locked up and wrapped in chains
Like a man about to be slain his heart leaving a permanent stain
Longing for her hot as a fire she's his every desire
His every wish satisfied with a brush of her lips giving a kiss
To him bringing him bliss the girl he's in love with
They say there's more fish in the sea but she's all that his heart can see
It's with her he wants to be with till he's grey and old
To be with every night of his life to stay and hold
His words grow bold as he lets his feelings unfold
He'll put his life on the line just for a chance
Doing things right this time for a chance to advance
Remembering the essence of her presence
He sits in reverence envisioning her elegance
This man as rare as a total eclipse dropping rhymes from his lips
Drops another line with the pen he grips tight in his fist
Gives it a twist with love for the girl who brings him his bliss
This rare tigress fills him with emotion deeper than the ocean
He's trapped under her spell so he gives his devotion
To do whatever it takes and give whatever he makes
Even if it's just for her smile it'll be worth his while
It's within his style to stand through the trial
Of her separation only serves to enhance his dedication
By explanation winning her heart is his Final Destination
thanks for putting me onto this Obnoxious
you said - "If you read please leave feed"
What sorta feedback you looking for?
Personally, I don't ask for feedback.
My shits what it is - for now.
If people want to go out of their way to tell me they
understand what i'm trying to say - that's great - but 'advice' on how to
write my **** would be hard to take (unless it came from
Stephen King or something)
I read a lot of feeling in your lines
keep writing
I enjoyed reading it
peace
Endy