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Thoughts from elsewhere...

 
 
Letty
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Nov, 2006 09:47 am
Well, my goodness, Francis. So far I am the only person who has given you an honest evaluation of your vignettes, and not so much as a "Thank you, Miss Letty."
0 Replies
 
CalamityJane
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Nov, 2006 10:29 am
Francis wrote:
Thank you all for your comments. I'd expect more.

Thank you, Miss Letty, for expanding...


http://www.borge.diesal.de/board02/images/smiles/huh.gif
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Herema
 
  1  
Reply Sun 12 Nov, 2006 08:04 pm
very interesting, indeedy.

It has the right stuff and flow towards the inner secret desires of most of us.

say...Letty....are you a professional critic?
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edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Sun 12 Nov, 2006 08:27 pm
An engrossing tale, Francis. If it were written in the French language, we might have a new literary light in our midst. It is definitely worth reading.
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Francis
 
  1  
Reply Mon 13 Nov, 2006 01:37 am
Thank you for your comments.

Edgar, it would be too easy to write it in French. But I'm learning how to write in English...

I'm finishing the following chapter...
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Francis
 
  1  
Reply Mon 13 Nov, 2006 03:33 pm
......

Next day, which was Friday, I started working early with the representatives of the oil company. We went through of every line of the contract, amending it here and there, as it would influence my life for the next three years.

After lunch, we went to the warehouses to make an inventory of the electronic devices - Seismic acoustic wave devices, inclinometers, spectrometers and so on, and their actual functioning state.

In the evening I was so tired I even didn't get out for dinner. The heat and the humidity were unbearable during the day but the showers, which happened everyday about 6 PM, cleaned and refreshed the atmosphere.

The next morning I woke up rested and, - as people usually say, God knows why - in a very good mood.

I took a light breakfast and left to a nearby horse riding facility where I rented a horse. I went out for a long walk on the desert beach.

Two hours later, I spotted a nice place, pretty private between the rocks and the palm trees. I attached the horse's reins to a tree and started to undress.

It was about 11 AM and the sun was already warming nicely the atmosphere. I felt this imperious desire I often have to completely undress. I then feel in unison with the nature.

I put my cloths near the tree and headed to the water. The waves came dying slowly at my feet.

I entered the water and it was like a warm and soft mantle on my skin.

Being a water sports lover and a rather good swimmer, I decided to give it a try and started crawling to the open sea.

Suddenly, I considered how imprudent I was, swimming in an unknown sea, on a desert beach.

I stopped, made a pause and looked at the beach to estimate the distance I was from it. About 200 meters.

Something moving on the beach took my attention. I knew sometimes cars came here but not as early in the morning.

As it approached, I started swimming back. After a while my feet touched the bottom. The car, a four wheel drive Vitara, had parked near the horse.

I was still in the water and it moved gently the hair on my chest. A tall and slender blonde got out of the car.

No, that's impossible! I said to myself (or was I shouting?). Lynn was here!!


To be continued...
0 Replies
 
Letty
 
  1  
Reply Sat 18 Nov, 2006 09:37 am
Bumping this up, Francis, because it deserves an honest critique, but first allow me to answer Herema. No, I am not a professional critic; I am not even a member of the world's oldest profession. <smile> The only truly professional thing that I have done is sing with my husbands's jazz group. Teaching is not a profession but it was a honorable job of which I am quite proud to have been a part.

This is one of your best, Francis. I especially felt the line, "the waves came dying slowly at my feet", but perhaps a more creative syntax would be, "the waves died with dignity at my feet." That brief alteration might give the impression that the ocean welcomed you.

This entire piece has created a bright picture in my mind, and I am quite certain that it has for the others here; that is what writing is all about, no?

Seeing Lynne; a silent shout; a feel of being at one with nature is especially enchanting. I only hope that this chapter is not just fiction.
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