Be Careful About Being Nice to Your Waiter

FEAR-BASED MEDIA

I would estimate that this type of thing happens about a hundred times every day across this great country of ours. So the revealing question may actually be: Why was this particular case picked out and publicized?

Was it because "broccolli" is a funny sounding word, and makes nice press? Or is it the innuendo that swapping vegies for potato is somehow related to wacky vegetarians? Why do people delight in reading this particular version of a common childish prank?

I honestly don't know. Perhaps people who are amped up on fear get triggered by the idea of "followed home". Honestly, it happens all the time, and fear isn't going to contribute to making the world any better. Far better to learn self-defense and become competent in dealing with the world as it is. Muggers, thieves, and random drunk vandals check me out all the time -- almost every day! I can't give my responsibility for self-protection over to my fear, or to any rules, regulations or agency outside myself.



INCOMPLETE CONCLUSIONS

Also, to judge a story like this fairly (ie. without generating and spreading random fear) I'd need to hear from the kids what their motivation and mood was.

Did they already know and hate the lady from some other occasions?
Did they really dislike her dress or manner?
Was it racially motivated?
Was the 20-year-old a pretty twitchy, wacky kid to begin with?
Were they dealing with incredible amounts of turmoil in their life already?

There are 101 possible reasons. I'm pretty sure the vegetables were not the actual reason, nor the customers complaint. We might as well blame the lady for wearing red, and then run around trying to conform to that new safety hazard!

That's not the kind of thinking that I wish to contribute to, because it turns us into quivering victims. We should be free and competent people, able to wear, eat, or complain about anything we want. The only way to preserve that ability is to actually do it, regardless.


Mountain out of mole-hill. Live free and/or die!

I'm going to tip 20% from now on!

I just wonder how scrupulous Sizzler is when hiring its service people. As someone said, in a service business, the accent needs to be on "service". There is NO excuse for what the waiter did. I hope that he learns a good lesson from this!

Frankly, I'm a little tired of "understanding" immature adults who seem to have little idea of property rights or privacy rights.

Had the perp followed a teacher home from school and vandalized the teacher's yard criminal charges probably would have been filed.

Why should a restaurant patron be given less protection under the law than a teacher?

Here's what we do: if the service is good, we leave 20 percent or more. If the service is lowsy, we leave about 10 percent. If the service is "no service," I've been known to leave a .01c. c.i.

cicerone...I'm a little disappointed at your last comment about your thinking it was clever to leave a 1 cent tip.
What made you so unhappy that you'd dump your sarcasm on the waiter so heavily?

Because the waiter/waitress brought our food much after people who arrived after us - after we had made our food order, ignored us all through the meal (didn't refill our water/coffee or ask if we wanted anything else), and after we asked for the check, it took another 15 minutes - it seemed much longer. c.i.

ci...okay, so it was all the waiter's fault that you decided to eat at a poorly managed place and you thought it would be amusing to leave a 1 cent tip for the human being caught between the restaurant's incompetence and your expectation of the level of service. What was the point of the 1 cent tip? Wouldn't it have been more appropriate to leave 10% or so and then talk to the manager? A 1 cent tip? Isn't that pretty childish? -johnboy-

If people gave 20% tip every time, then there would be no reason to use tips at all!

The whole point is to give feedback on the quality of service, in a business where service makes a great difference. That feedback can only occur if we vary the tip, greatly and often. A $0.01 tip functions better than $0.00, because the message is clearly intentional and unambiguous.

I have tremendous respect for people in the service profession, and often leave 25-40% tip. Unfortunately sometimes I'm forced to leave $0.02, just for the symbolism.

When a person's complete lack of care and attention actually ruins my evening, they've basically stolen my money by not delivering the goods. I don't have to do anything about it, except to never return. It's their job to make their business better, not mine. So it's a favor to them if I let them know, without having to cause a scene, or inconvenience myself with a manager. If I have to resort to a manager, it would be to get the person fired -- which I've done only when the employee endangers the health and safety of the customers.

In my opinion, acting responsively is neither childish or sarcastic.




(Sorry about the tangent.)

realjohnboy, TIP is the acronym for "To Insure Promptness." I have worked in the service industry. There is no excuse for them to ignore their customer, nor treat them as if they didn't exist. If something is going to be delayed, they should notify you, and the reason given. Just a simple courtesy. I will not reward people that do not know how to work in the service industry. As CodeBorg stated, I will not make a scene to make a point. I'm a customer, not management. If I am served food that is uneatable, I will inform the waiter/waitress. As a matter of fact, I recently did that when I was served dried out baby backed ribs. They served another entree, then the manager came, so I explained it to him that the ribs were too dry, and that I was very disappointed, because this was the first time this had happened. He asked me if he could serve up another serving of ribs, so I said yes. They charged me for the higher priced entree, but felt they won my continued patronage. c.i.

Actually, if I may haul my soapbox in here and rant fore a moment - anyone saying no? No? Thank 'ee.

As a person who worked in hospitality for 11 years as a wee-erlowan, may I say that I think treatment of waiting staff, and other folk in service roles, is one of the truest litmus tests of personality there is.

As far as I am concerned, a person who treats people in such roles with anything less than courtesy and respect is an arsehole - no two ways about it, and I wish to have nothing to do with them.

I have twice dumped men I have been going out with for being arrogant and nasty to waiting staff - boom - just like that. If you behave in that way in that situation, that is who you are, the rest of your behaviour is just window-dressing and bullshit.

That said - of course one has the right to be served courteously as well, and to complain if things are done badly - but I tell you what, I give a person the benefit of the doubt unless I am sure that they are behaving badly - and I will generally confront them personally, not complain at the desk. Sometimes, for instance, food not being exchanged and such is due to nazi cooks and kitchen staff, who are often contemptuous of customers - but front of house people bear the brunt of this.

For instance, I worked in a Chinese restaurant for three years, where cooks and owners were totally racist and utterly contemptuous of their European and any other race (other than Chinese) customers. Getting the kitchen to change anything, make a dish differently, not put in MSG etc was well-nigh impossible - in fact, if non-MSG was requested, I had to watch like a hawk, or they would double or triple the amounts out of spite. We waiters would get the blame, if we could not wangle what the customer wanted out of the kitchen. One's wangle-ability increased with seniority, so one was often wangling for other people's tables, too!

I guess what I am saying is, sometimes "bad" service is not the fault of the person serving you - and they may be so exhausted that they can barely move - be a bit tolerant!

CC, i'm with you on this one . . . when i go into a white table cloth restaurant or a diner, i'm usually able to judge if the quality of the food, or the time needed to deliver it depends up the server. I don't stiff someone because of things over which they have no control. When in diners, i tip one third, because the waitresses there are often women with children, but no marketable skills. In the United States, they are paid on the order of $2.25 an hour (by contrast, we started our most recently hired employee, who came to us with no specific skills, at $14.00 per hour)--they need those tips to feed their families, and they put up with a lot more grief than any other class of service employee. The people in white table cloth restaurants i give 20%, because they are getting much higher check averages, and able to do well with that kind of rate; if they provide truly "above and beyond" service, i'll give them 25%.

It is not only in that line of work that people are subjected to the childish and selfish will of the customer to see only his/her own narrow world. Through out the service and retail sales industries, people routinely treat those who wait upon them very shabbily, and cry aloud with any allegation of poor service.

By the way, Chinese restaurants in this country usually don't have the problems you described among the staff, for however the customer is treated. By law, they can exclude non-Asians from their wait staff--one of those little political deals in the House when fair labor standards come up.

Set, Your statement, "It is not only in that line of work that people are subjected to the childish and selfish will of the customer to see only his/her own narrow world." You may consider me "childish, selfish, and narrow," but I will not give a gratuity for service not rendered. You may throw your money away any way you please, but please refrain from calling people like me something I'm not. FYI, "gratuity means - a material favor or gift, usually in the form of money, given in return for service." "Tip means - a small sum of money given as an acknowledgement of services rendered; gratuity." I'll stick with my policy of no service, no tip. Your insults are not appreciated. c.i.

CI - from where I am sitting, I saw no reason to think Setanta was referring to you! I think it was a general commentfollowing on from my rant - which also was not referring to you!

Yes, Setanta, in Oz waiting staff are paid a reasonable wage - and tipping is not seen as a customer obligation. I tip when I think service has been good.

I find it terrible that people can work for the kinds of wages they do in the USA - and that people are dependent upon tips to live.

We always shared tips when I waitressed, anyway - because there were staff who worked in areas where tips would not occur.

The owners of the Chinese restaurant I worked in made it clear that they would prefer not to hire non-Chinese - but could not find enough Chinese staff. Non-Chinese staff were considered below Chinese staff, but above non-Chinese customers!

Good friend of mine waits tables at a very white-cloth restaurant.
Ironic, but she says people there tip extremely poorly.

It may be that the locals drop in there to gawk at how the rich folks live, and then with sticker shock at the prices, end up tipping only 5%. She made better tips at an ordinary restaurant, serving $20 dinners instead of $60.

Please keep in mind that at fancy places, the wait-staff won't necessarily be getting that much more.

Codeborg:



Calm down, just kidding there!

This place is getting more and more cliqueish - or however all you snobby people spell it - all the time. It's enough to drive us ordinary folk away, dagnabbit!

Oh, I didn't mean to pick out 20% because you said it. The number was just in my head and many of my friends automatically tip the same all the time.

Really... Some of us just get quite opinionated and let it rip sometimes! I think it's kinda fun to read everyone's strong opinions. :-)

(No worries, k?)
Personally I'd like to see much more variety around here... no matter what people are thinking.

Wait staff here are paid at least minimum wage, which is about $7/hour (Canajun). At 'better' restaurants, they can make between $10 and $15 per hour base salary. It's sort of accepted that a 15% tip is appropriate, unless the service is either outstanding or outstandingly bad (and that's 15% on the food, not on the taxes, which are also 15% !).

It's hard work, but a very respectable living can be made.

Thank you ehBeth. When I was in the kitchen at Bistro 990, the waitstaff (who were 'lifers', real professionals) would brag about the hundreds of dollars of undeclared $$$ they received at the end of a good night. Some bought condos, some sports cars even. Yes, it can be a crappy job, so if you ain't cut for it, don't wear it. As a P.S., while kitchen staff got a slightly higher wage, the tip-sharing worked out to about $30-40 once every 2 weeks for the kitchen crew, a pittance. The good waitstaff walked out with wads of 20s and 50s every weekend, and they knew the tax laws quite well, thank you very much. These are the kind of people I would hire, and I believe my sommelier would concur.

In my job, I've had reason to attend hearings where waitstaff at some of the 'better' joints had to prove their undeclared income. If I thought I had the stamina, I'd definitely consider going back to it. They were able to prove some very big $$$ coming in. One of them was able to prove they had an undeclared income higher than our v.p. !