W C Fields

Clams?

I hate clams...

x

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. Fields

Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
W. C. Fields

Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.
W. C. Fields

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
W. C. Fields

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. Fields

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. Fields

I drink therefore I am.
W. C. Fields

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. Fields

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. Fields

I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
W. C. Fields

I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.
W. C. Fields

I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
W. C. Fields

I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. Fields

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
W. C. Fields

If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
W. C. Fields

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. Fields

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
W. C. Fields

It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.
W. C. Fields

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.
W. C. Fields

Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
W. C. Fields

Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. Fields

On the whole, I'd rather be in Philidelphia. (On his tombstone)
W. C. Fields

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
W. C. Fields

Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
W. C. Fields

Roomservice, Roomservice, don't send up any more ice.
W. C. Fields

Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.
W. C. Fields

Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.
W. C. Fields

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. Fields

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. Fields

Stop following me, are you following me? That'll get you twelve years at Leavenworth, or eleven years at twelveworth, or five and ten at Woolworth's.
W. C. Fields

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.
W. C. Fields

The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
W. C. Fields

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. Fields

W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. "I'm looking for a loop-hole," he explained.
W. C. Fields

Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one.
W. C. Fields

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W. C. Fields

Sadly, there is a dearth of W.C. Fields movies on dvd. For instance, George Cukor's 1935 version of David Copperfield, in which Fields played Mr. Micawber, will appear on dvd for the first time on October 10. Other classics, like Never Give a Sucker an Even Break and Tillie and Gus aren't on dvd at all.

Fields, unfortunately, didn't appear in too many movies. Part of the problem was his relationships with the studios, which weren't always harmonious, and much of that can be blamed on his drinking. Also, he was a very big star on radio: one can only wonder what kind of movies he would have made if he weren't spending his time trading wisecracks with Charlie McCarthy. As such, he often appeared in "cameo" roles which didn't require a lot of effort on his part (such as in International House and If I Had a Million, or as Humpty Dumpty in Alice in Wonderland). That's a great loss for us, as Fields, when he was on top of his game, was one of the funniest people who has ever been captured on film.

Fortunately, three of his very best films -- The Bank Dick, You Can't Cheat an Honest Man, and It's a Gift, are available on dvd (along with My Little Chickadee and the aformentioned International House) in a boxed set. It doesn't have much in the way of extras, but it's an excellent addition to anyone's collection.

Joe, I have to state that your commentary on the film threads is that of a real film buff and never pretentious or side-swiping. I wish there was more appreciation of W C's genius contribution to comedy. His delivery and timing were perfect and he was a very intelligent man. So drinking was a problem but that's more uncommon than any of can imagine. When I live in Hollywood, I can't think of very many Hollywood execs who could brag about sobriety. I guess I can state that I drank with the best of them but that could seem pretentious!

Thanks, LW, from someone with your breadth and depth of knowledge about films, that's quite a compliment.

An interesting thing about Fields and his contribution to comedy: there was a set of young comedians in the 1960s, most notably the Firesign Theatre, who got turned on to Fields (and also the Marx Bros.) by way of television, and who appreciated the absurdist wordplay in Fields's movies, like this example from The Bank Dick

Egbert Sousé: Ten cents a share. Telephone sold for five cents a share. How would you like something better for ten cents a share? If five gets ya ten, ten'll get ya twenty. A beautiful home in the country, upstairs and down. Beer flowing through the estate over your grandmother's paisley shawl. Og Oggilby: Beer? Egbert Sousé: Beer! Fishing in the stream that runs under the arboreal dell. A man comes up from the bar, dumps $3,500 in your lap for every nickel invested. Says to you, "Sign here on the dotted line." And then disappears in the waving fields of alfalfa.

His often cynical wit is legendary.