sUicide sUnday

suicide sunday//
its a sensation, i'm not talkin about putting a gun to me//
my brain incinerates and my focus is miles away//
its no longer a choice now, but it once felt good to elevate//
i'd feel free as a good dance//
and allieve myself of bad memories entering a state of trance//
but i'm STUCK now//
the word lies in my heart and saturates//
my souls like a slut how it dabs in two worlds managing to slip away//
i know i did this to myself when i got up that day//
but it never helps seeing these skies of grey//

suicide sunday, a stern frown//
i've watched for 72hrs the stars gleam then fade, to finally find home now//
but i can't continue my life this way, my feet need to touch ground//
still, i'm headed no where so ******* fast now//
i call my family what u call such a "bad" crowd//
and we all follow footsteps on the path down//
who'll listen? who feels how i do alone?//
i feel ill when i'm distant, but there's only one girl who can make me smyil//
my heads fuct so i can't fly again//
confidence flushed, gotta get back, get back! i've been trying//
to no avail!
//
suicide sunday, cold hands, face pail//
charred lungs, voice rough, my eyes still dialated giving a blank stare//
its been a chaotic come down, no doubt//
i'd close my eyes but my visions are malignant, everythings so blood drown//
and i can feel a presence, you can say i'm strung out//
but this isn't the first nite that its hung out//
suicide sunday//
spark a square to help sustain//
sit my back to the wall and exhale a cloud of malaise//
leave my light on and quietly await monday//