<Now....let's see....should be here somewhere.....The Ellpus guide to nude fishing....no.... How to achieve organism the Ellpus way..... no.....ah! Here it is!....The Ellpus guide to getting out of sticky situations....marvellous! ......flick....flick...Chapter one, prizing one's self free of bedsheets ....no.....Two, How to escape from handcuffs....no...
....Three, how to placate feisty women......that's it .....if you want to placate blah blah .....ah, if a woman's honour has been inadvertantly besmirched, simply write a formal letter, explaining that it was all a mistake, and that the whole thing had been misinterpreted...... righty ho!..
I'll give that a shot....>
<AHEM>
Dear Miss/Mrs/Ms S.Morgs,
I sincerely apologize for any confusion that may have arisen, which may have given the impression that I/we were going to indulge in rumpy involving the usage of various undisclosed kitchen implements over this coming weekend.
I would like to make it clear, that although I have agreed to "pop in" during the course of my travels in the wild hinterlands that are the North, I never meant that to mean anything other than stopping by for a cup of tea and a quick nibble on one of your hobnobs.
I hope this clears up any confusion regarding liaisons of a naughty nature.
Yours
Lord Nevan Ellpus.
PS. I've taken the liberty of ordering us a continental breakfast, as the full English breakfast seems to be far too expensive.
