[poem] A Slave to Destiny

I really liked this poem. It got a little creepy but it was really good insight on to people who bottle things up. The imagry was really good and I could see the person you were talking about.

Hey, scarling and aljobob. Welcome to A2K.

Scarling, Frost once observed that poetry is the only medium in which one may say one thing but mean another. Are you the person in the poem, or are you telling someone that you've tried and lost so you're leaving?

The repetition of the last two stanzas lead me to believe that you're convincing yourself of something.

I'm curious about your word choice: "infatuation" . It somehow seems out of place with the rest of your diction which conjures up more than the word implies.

I do like the word choice "neglection". It's great! Hope we'll see more of your talents.

I'm not a good critic or, not a practiced one. I would omit the second verse. That would leave the 1st and 3rd to address the cold, insensitive description and the 4th to describe your relationship and your resolve.

Welcome and I'm glad to meet you!

Thanks for the comments, they're appreciated

As to who is the person in the poem..? When I write, I always write about another person - very rarely do I write using the first person, mainly because I can't write about personal experiences and feelings too well. So I take a feeling / emotion / event I know well and create another character and apply it to them.

I like writing poems and lyrics with a little story to them, and the ability for the reader to make up their own images about the person in the poem. I don't like the thought of someone reading my work and automatically having a picture of me in their minds. I guess I write poems and lyrics as if they're short stories in a way. Okay I rambling now..

The reason why I have two stanza's the same is because this poem was originally going to be lyrics, but I couldn't think of anything else to fit so I left it as a poem. Also, I was kind of experimenting by leaving the second stanza in. I haven't really written any poems that have a 'chorus' or repeated lines to them so..

The word 'infatuation' comes from the hiden meaning to the poem.. I didn't want to make it seem too obvious it's about what unrequitted love and the confusion to what's love and what isn't, can do to a person, so I tried to subtley drop hints. But there's more than one meaning, so I tried using certain words to bring them all together. I guess I didn't do too good on the infatuation part though!