MOON DANCER

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MOON DANCER

A prose poem by

ROBERT DAVIDSON

Tonight I walk the beach to the stone jetty where my boat is moored. Moonlight caressing waves causes a quivering pulsation of light over water.

Looking out over the curve of the bay I see the moth-like figure of a girl dancing on the shore. She pirouettes, advancing retreating, as moonlit waves wash shimmering sand. A slight wind from the sea blows through her hair moulding her dress to her body. Her movements captivate.

She comes up to me and all woman she is. Her breasts rise and fall as she speaks and we soon become as one - pressed together in the dance, my love-kiss finding her mouth. The white moon at full inspires emotion and for a night she becomes my passion as smooth the bare flesh I feel her body surrender. She cries as sensuality washes over her in multiple waves. Her breath warm in my ear.

This is where I belong, spoke my heart. But many are the moods of the moon, the wind having risen with the turn of the tide. And as a moonbeam glides across a wave, she slips from me saying, I never said forever.

My heart sinks like a stone flung into a deep pool. She drifts away from me, a withered leaf on the edge of a storm. My passion shipwrecked, my voice - a drowning sailor's call.

Copyright 2006 http://www.robertdavidson.blogsource.com

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Prose poetry is an oxymoron. The definition of prose is writing that is not poetry (verse). Your "poem" is simply prose with some spacing differences to make it look like possible poetry. It simply does not read like poetry, does not possess the imagery or figurative language of a poem. There is no condensation of an idea, image, or thought into a pleasing blending within a verse.

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Prose Poetry is real. It isn't something this guy just made up. Even the Academy of American Poets recognizes it.

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I don't care what the Academy of Poetry recognizes. The fact is that almost anything one writes today and labels poetry has become "acceptable." Most of it is simply undisciplined writing with no sense of flow that is pleasing to the ear. There is a clear difference between prose and poetry. Poetry is written in verse; it need not rhyme, but it has qualities different from prose. I teach high school English, and the above "poem" could certainly be used as a good starting point for a poem but not as the finished product.

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I studied poetry and prose in college. Yes poetry is different from prose. But for you to pass judgement on someone based on the fact that YOU don't think it's poetry, just tells me that either you are a mean teacher or you don't get poetry. Does it need work? Sure. Most of us can't write a first draft and call it done; that's a rare and spectacular moment.

Not to mention, the fact that writers like Poe and Shakespear were not appreciated until much after their death goes to show you that just because someone doesn't think its good, doesn't mean it's worthless.

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Would you "care" if he broke this into lines? Would it be a poem then? Your standards are ridiculous and I'd hate to be your student.

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Because I enjoy learning I've always had respect for those willing to teach.

But siggyfreud, even your name bothers me.

You wrote:

"There is no condensation of an idea, image, or thought into a pleasing blending within a verse."

What???

Man, have you any idea what you sound like?

If it's true you teach high school English - all I can say is....better watch your back.
Seriously, don't patronise people.

And lets see yours.

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Bella and Eddy, excellent comments. I thought this was an excellent prose/poem, has a lovely rhythm even if the images are a little too cosily quick and convenient at times, yet it shows real promise.

This siggy seems out to prove how clever [and how soulless] he is at the expense of others who are doing the best they can but may not be a TS Eliot yet, and we are all very impressed with this, as amply illustrated by the comments of B&E

Laughing

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I keep thinking the guy can't be for real - like it's got to be someone having a joke. Surely if you teach high school you at least learn how not to insult people!

RD
Looking at MOON DANCER I cannot help but notice the physical/sexual in the early descriptive passage:

"Moonlight caressing waves causes a quivering pulsation of light over water.

Looking out over the curve of the bay I see the moth-like figure of a girl dancing on the shore."

For me, the words caressing, quivering, pulsation and curve - all add up to one thing on the mind. :wink: Not sure it doesn't take something away from the impact of seeing the girl.

Good luck with it

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Why do you have a problem with my name?
I think you are reading too much into it.
I am truly a teacher but refuse to tell any of my students that their work is good just because that has become the politically correct way to teach. No, my students do not hate me, quite to the contrary. I manage to get better writing out of them than they ever thought themselves capable of producing.
If you want to improve, you need to hear the truth. "If you can't stand the heat . . ."

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siggy, you seem to have come here for one purpose and that is to flex what you think is a fabulous knowledge of the English language and writing.

Get a life.

Not everyone is Shakespeare. And while I don't believe in lying to kids telling them they are good at something when they are not, you can't shoot down every idea they have with "that sucks".

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MOON DANCER

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