In need of critiques. Warning : LONG, VERY LONG

Hey everybody, ummm, just joined up and I was wondering if I could get some critiques on the first chapter of the novel I'm working on. It's currently pushing about 13 chapters so far and not even close to being done but I would appreciate the help never the less

Chapter I : The Lost Cities

The Emerald Sea stretches from the farthest corners of the Western Continent to the Silent Valley. The Sea, contrary to what its name suggests, is in reality a jungle of massive proportions It covers over two hundred thousand krys with the tall, brilliant emerald trees that are its namesake. Though the beauty of the Sea is undeniable within its dark recesses are hidden countless dangers and bloodthirsty creatures. The greatest of which, an insectoid creature known as the bark stalker is responsible for more than a hundred deaths every year in the small elven towns and villages within the Sea. The trees of the Sea are so densely packed that no light manages to cut through their leaves and branches, creating a perpetual night on the forest floor. It is said that this is one of the many reasons why none have managed to successfully traverse the Sea, though many have tried. Still the dangers of the bark stalkers and tree wyrms are undeniable; however, there are rumors that greater terrors lie within the depths of the Sea. Terrors as old as the Divine.
-Extract from Aen Sental's "Exotic Locales of Therenar"

A lone gravcopter skimmed the surface of the Emerald Sea as it headed east towards the Jerek'ar city of Llenarus. The capital of the Emerald Empire had yet to come into the view but the pilot knew that it wasn't far off. Something that Sera was unbelievably thankful for. Her three charges had frayed her nerves and her already short temper to the breaking point. Sera wondered silently why she had ever agreed to ferrying the three old men but then the grave image of the Holy Mother crossed her mind's eye and she remembered exactly why.

"Penance. The Seventh Virtue." She muttered gritting her teeth. Sera was not what you would call the ideal Harbinger, her faith although strong was constantly tempered by her sarcasm and her over-eagerness to solve problems with steel rather than dialogue. Such recklessness was what had landed her in this menial job. Sera cursed under her breath, fully regretting her foolhardiness having landed her in this utterly mind numbing predicament. The copter's engines hummed melodically as it kept a low altitude over the gleaming emerald trees of the Sea. Sera fidgeted uncomfortably in her baggy flight suit and readjusted her helmet before pushing the throttle forward and accelerating the ship up into the higher levels of its speed threshold. The craft rocked slightly as the acceleration took hold of it causing Sera to groan to herself. She had never enjoyed flying, probably another reason that the Holy Mother had sent her on this. Whether it had been to teach her a lesson, to conquer her fear or just out of spite Sera wasn't entirely sure. Perhaps a combination of all three.

Her passengers were in the back, bickering about something as they had been throughout the trip. Sera tried and failed to recall if they had even taken a breath the entire way. The most noticeable of the trio was at the moment, gesticulating wildly at his colleague.
"Ridiculous Bren, absolutely ridiculous. I'm telling you, the very thought that the Dread could keep together a cohesive society is preposterous. Look at them for Theren's Grace, every chance they get they assassinate their leaders just so they can ascend to his position and not twenty years later, their heads are on the pike next to their victims. It's a never-ending cycle. The very idea. Dreads! Next you'll be telling me that Telosians have a damned conscience! Bah." The man snorted loudly as his rant came to a close, as if this would add further emphasis to his point.
The man he had called Bren cowered slightly from his colleague's rage. Although he was broad and well built in great contrast to his rather frightening colleague who possessed an almost stereotypical appearance of the absent-minded professor, with his long hair tied in a loose pony-tail and his glasses slightly askew and cracked at the edges. Even with his obvious advantage in size Bren seemed genuinely afraid of the pony-tailed man.

"Well, Jaksi" Bren said with some degree of caution, as though he might explode into yet another venomous tirade at any moment or for that matter, just explode. "Sental seems to be quite accurate in describing Dr-Dread culture and s-s-society. The way he p-puts it, these assassinations are an a-accepted part of that society, al-almost like our e-e-elections." He said, his voice's stammer becoming more and more pronounced. Jaksi bristled instantly,

"Sental seems to be quite accurate? Accurate! The man's a writer! A scribe! By the Divine! The very notion that the Dread would let him enter the Wastes, let alone live there is absolutely insane. You've seen the images from the Line haven't you? That's the only way they greet humans, with a swift thrust to the gut. And that's if you're lucky. Sental claiming that he lived with that barbaric filth is even more ridiculous than them having a damned society. And you say it's like an election! At what point in our elections do our politicians knife each other in the neck?" Jaksi sputtered, his anger getting the better of his reason. The final member of the trio turned, his solemn face and kind eyes briefly flashed as the light from the afternoon sun reflected against circular bifocals.

"Every chance they get and not just figuratively speaking either." The older man gave a short chuckle at his own joke and continued, "They're just not as upfront about it as the Dread, there's something to admire in a culture that can recognize openly that politics always begets blood at some point." Jaksi spat to one side in disgust,

"Of course, this is coming from Professor Gaadan Queras, Knower and Lover of all Things Telosian, who gives lectures on the prowess and all around perfection of the Once-Masters and their ilk. Madness, absolute madness." Gaadan didn't rise, he merely readjusted his glasses and replied calmly,

"For all of their faults, of which there were many, they were minds of great scientific and alchemical genius that is undeniable. You of all people should know that, Jaksi."

"I-I-I think he has a…uh… point." Bren chimed in. "With-without th-the Telosians we… uh… wouldn't be flying in this ship or enjoying un-undying fires in the winter back in B-B-B-Blizzard Fang." He stopped to mop his forehead; the summer heat was making all three sweat profusely. "An-And you certainly wouldn't be able to pull all those weird gizmos out of your j-j-jacket." A quivering finger indicated the other Arcanists jacket as a weak smile crossed Bren's lips. Its surface was covered in pockets and seemed to have been patched together from the refuse of a million other coats that had seen better days. Jaksi rounded on him,

"And I suppose that excuses them for all the destruction and genocide caused during the Season of Conquest? Bah!" Gaadan readjusted his glasses again as Bren cowered in his seat.
"We should leave this subject for another time, perhaps at the conference. Where we can debate it with the rest of our learned brothers and sisters?" Gaadan said trying to steer Jaksi off topic, Jaksi shrugged and pulled out a small metallic cube from one of the infinite number of pockets on his jacket and began fiddling with it.

"I doubt there would be time Gaadan," He replied, his attention concentrated on the gadget in front of him, "Bren will be hustled into some spiritual seminar as always. You'll be talking to the nearest waitress of the differences between Elven and Telosian physique, as always." He prodded the cube with his forefinger, causing it to start humming. A few moments later small blue and purple lights began to switch on across the metallic surface of the cube. "And I will be dismantling whatever automaton is serving me the least amount of drinks. As always." The cube started to hover as Jaksi finished speaking, it's humming and glowing intensified.

"W-W-What's that?" Bren said, his hand moving towards it slowly, Jaksi slapped it away immediately,
"I call it a Psyphon. It uses refractor crystals and a micro extraction matrix to feed off of the Ethereal Stream as well as an organism's own arcane frequency." Gaadan looked at it, his glasses sliding down his nose as sweat from the awesome heat of the summer sun dripped down.
"What does it use the energy for?" He asked, looking at it intently,

"Haven't figured that part out yet." Jaksi replied simply, The three's discussion of Jaksi's new invention was interrupted as the pilot's head came into view, the visor propped up with a soft hiss, revealing piercingly bright blue eyes and full feminine lips.

"We should be arriving in Llenarus in 20 gentlemen. Destination is locked in. And could you keep it down? I can't sleep with all this chattering." Bren blushed at the reproach but Gaadan smiled back bowing his head slightly, "Thank you for your assistance Sera, the Institute appreciates all that you have done thus far." He said pulling out some of his seminar notes as Jaksi whispered.

"I thought she was supposed to be flying this thing, why is she trying to sleep?" Sera gave him a hard look as she moved back to her seat and muttered under her breath,

"Arcanists." It was mere moments before she dropped off to sleep again, the empty blackness of uninterrupted and altogether welcome rest washing over her. The rhythmic throbbing of the gravcopter's engines rocked her softly as she rested. Blackness, comforting blackness spread around her as she fell deeper and deeper into the realm of Xeros then images began to wash into her mind.

The encounters of her day appeared before her, the Arcanists at their seats bickering, talking about the best way to use necromantic spells in order to resurrect Gaadan's childhood pet squirrel, Max. Then the Holy Mother appeared in her usual regalia with a twirling purple cat atop her head belting synthtech tunes at the top of its lungs. He was surprisingly good at mimicking all the beeps, whistles, and chimes of the synthboard and somehow managed to achieve this while singing the lyrics as well. Sera's perspective shot inside the gaping mouth of the cat and the blackness formed around her again. She saw the burning trees of the Emerald Sea, the bloody corpses of elves and of men speared on the treetops as the flames consumed both wood and flesh. And then a shining, perfect city, devoid of filth or of the fire that was consuming thousands around it appeared contrasting sharply with the gruesome imagery she had seen. Sera snapped awake, her eyes darting in every direction as her mind attempted to decipher the meaning of what she had just seen. Unfortunately she wasn't allowed enough time to grasp what she had just seen as the ship began to rock so violently that a few of Sera's restraints tore. Looking back at the Arcanists to see if they were unharmed Sera found them in a tangled heap of limbs and instruments.

"What happened?" She shouted loudly as she checked her console. There was no measurable damage to the ship, but it seemed to have jolted the crew rather badly.
"What? You don't know! Isn't this supposed to be your job?" Jaksi shouted obviously perturbed after being thrown out of his seat. "It was some kind of shockwave. Almost like getting kicked by a Grek'or" Said Gaadan, as he readjusted his glasses

"Threkk, my arm." Bren groaned as he cradled it,
"Don't be such a child, you probably just bruised it. Of all that is Divine, what is that?" Jaksi said, his mouth dropping open as he pointed out of one of the gravcopter's viewports. As Sera took a look herself, an awe-inspiring sight met her. A huge city made entirely of glittering silver had suddenly erupted right beneath them. It was immense, seemingly endless in its size. The buildings were almost organic in their construction, flowing into one another like the waves of an ocean. It wasn't even fair to call them buildings. Buildings implied singular units, a unique structure next to another unique structure, this city's ?'buildings' flowed, they never ended. It was impossible to tell where one building began or where when ended.

"What in Theren's Name is this place?" She swore loudly. Gaadan coughed,
"It's the Valley of Rin." He said, adjusting his glasses to get a better look. Bren peered over his shoulder,
"You mean the Silent Valley." He said, correcting his friend. Gaadan shook his head.
"It's certainly not silent anymore is it? No, this is the Valley of Rin as it was generations ago."
"Telosians?" Sera said puzzled as she looked out the cockpit, "But the Valley has been empty for generations."
"Well it isn't anymore, is it girl? And it seems we've made a rather poor first impression eh?" sneered Jaksi, pointing down at a bright flash of light beneath them. The flash streaked by them. Immediately the smell of liquefied metal hit Sera's nostrils and in the split second afterwards her instincts and training took over. Banking the gravcopter sharply to the right Sera punched the throttle all the way forward. Ethereal energy poured into the refinement crystals and the ship's engines erupted as they were filled with pure energized magic. As the ship's engines roared with the influx of refined magical power the Arcanists, who had not expected such sudden movement, were thrown to the back of the ship clutching at anything to regain balance.
"What in Xenathos!" Jaksi screeched as his head slammed into a metal bulkhead. "Can't you fly this thing without knocking everyone around?" Sera punched the visor close button of her helmet and gripped the controls of the gravcopter tightly as it shot through the city.
"Slice it old man." She shouted as more and more streaks of light screeched by. "I kindly suggest you three sit the threkk down and strap up. Now." She answered, her tone making it quite clear that it was far more than just a suggestion. Quickly the three professors crawled to their seats and strapped their harnesses in, talking incessantly.

"What do you suppose that flash of light was?" asked Bren. Jaksi looked over at one of the rear viewports as he answered,
"Probably the Telosian equivalent of a burst tower. The Dread use them on the Line." Sera dipped the copter into the city's lower levels, the ship weaving in between the walls of the never-ending city. She began to mutter under her breath angrily as the beams of light got closer and closer to hitting their targets. The Arcanists behind her were completely oblivious, more concerned with what was firing at them rather than the effect it would have if they were hit. Gaadan nodded and then turned to Bren,
"That would definitely make this one of the Lost Cities then, how else would they have such technology? The Dread stole them from the Telosians during the Emancipation." There was another explosion and Sera turned the ship roughly to the side so its wings were making a perpendicular angle with the ground. She shouted back at the three Arcanists, the anger in her voice managing to break through her visor,
"I swear on all that is Sacred that if you three don't slice it…!" There was yet another explosion as Sera straightened the ship and the copter began to list to the right. "Threkk!" Sera roared as she went back to the controls. The Arcanists were silent and now without the discussion of the cities to distract them, they began to realize how much danger they were in. Sera pounded the console in frustration as a rainbow of warning lights began to flash. Gritting her teeth as another burst whistled by, Sera pulled up, lifting the ship into a steep ascent. She checked over her shoulder seeing no bursts following her she breathed a sigh of relief, the glare from the afternoon sun had no doubt blinded her attackers. The gravcopter's flashing console brought her back to reality. It was a sobering sight.

The right engine had been almost completely blown apart. The second and third refinement crystals had been shattered, and her hull was thirty percent melted or otherwise destroyed and close to collapsing. Even with repairs at the best Guild shop this bird was on it's final flight. The least Sera could hope for was that she made it out of the city before one of the blasts punched through her buckling hull, breaching an energy tank or the rift mechanism and caused an explosion. Barrel rolling out of the way of yet another volley, Sera caught sight of an opening in the city's waves of buildings and rocketed towards it. Shooting out of the main gallery she was met by a welcome sight, emerald trees. It seemed as though the structures just stopped at the edge of the Valley where it met with the Emerald Sea, no roads led out of the city into the surrounding forest, it was as if the Sea was holding the city back. Squaring off against it like two massive opposing armies. As she cleared the city and skipped the trees, a blast caught her unawares and she felt the ship rock with the explosion that told Sera she had just lost her second main engine. Groaning, she could feel the gravcopter begin to lose altitude, dropping towards the trees protruding menacingly from the earth. Sera pointed the ship's nose towards the closest pocket of clear ground she could find almost a thousand blades away. Praying to the merciful Theren that her ship could make it, Sera directed the controls towards it and let gravity and inertia take over.

Now all she could do was wait, hope and pray. She checked the distance a few moments later, six hundred blades, and then again another moment later, four hundred blades. She could hear small cries coming from the back, the Arcanists seemed to have become aware that being impaled by a tree was rapidly becoming a more than just a possibility. Sera let out a long slow breath as she gripped the controls and kept the rattling gravcopter on course towards the clearing. The bottom of the ship sank into the trees as they came upon the opening in the trees, tearing metal and wood.
Suddenly there was a great jolt that halted the ships movements several branches had come through into the passenger compartment, piercing the hull plates and erupting next to the Arcanists. Jaksi cried out in fear and shrank towards the back of the ship staring in horror at a branch that had erupted about six inches from his face. Gaadan's cry was even louder as one of the smaller branches sliced through his leg. Ignoring her passengers' screams of fright, Sera looked down into the impenetrable black of the forest as the ship teetered precariously on the top of the trees. The Arcanists were huddled together inspecting Gaadan's leg, Jaksi had managed to reattach his scowl and was now sitting arms crossed at the back of the ship, Bren was tending to Gaadan,
"How much does it hurt, sir?" He asked, as his fingers traced the wound gingerly. Gaadan gnashed his teeth together. Sera unbuckled her harness and moved to the back,
"Here let me take a look." Sera kneeled in front of Gaadan placing her hands against the wound. Gaadan let out a small cry as the pain ran up his body,
"Stay calm Professor," Sera said, "It's only going to hurt more if you tense up." Closing her eyes, Sera gripped the wound tightly. A small radiance began to emanate from her hands as she began to chant softly. The Arcanists watch as the aura increased in brilliance. Gaadan expression changed slowly from agony to relief as Sera lifted her hands, revealing the wound. The rest of the Arcanists looked equally as relieved when they saw that all that was left of it was a tear in the Professor's pant leg.

"Thank you Sera that was quite a nasty cut." Gaadan said, his eyes slightly bleary from the pain. Sera was about to reassure him when the ship gave a long groan of rending metal and splintering wood. Sera stood immediately, about to rush back to the pilots seat and find a way to stabilize the ship. Gaadan grabbed her wrist and shook his head vigorously,
"No time Harbinger, this ship is falling apart." Sera looked back at the controls longingly, if only she could send a message to the Temple. She could… her thought was interrupted as the ship's floor groaned even louder and gave way, a giant rip in it tearing across the length of the copter. The four humans slip towards the opening all yelling with fright, except Gaadan.
"Silence!" He shouted, a hard edge to his voice that had not been there before as he raised his arms, his mouth moving quickly in some kind of ritualistic chanting. His arms moved furiously as the broke through the small branches falling ever closer to the forest floor below. The proffessor's body glowed with the soft turquiose color of the Ethereal Strem as he thrust his arms out to the sides. A bright blue energy wrapped around the outstretched limbs and then connected to the other three encircling them in protective magic as they picked up speed heading towards the ground. Strangely enough, although they crashed through countless branches and other forest debris, none of them felt any pain. Then the ground met them and each fell in a heap to the floor, the wind knocked from their lungs and their minds reeling from the harrowing experience they had just endured. Gaadan was the first to stand, regally brushing himself off. His weathered, mature face was the very image of serenity as he helped the others to their feat. Grasping Sera by the arm he watched smiling as she picked the leaves and bark out of her hair,

"Quick thinking Professor." She said, amazement shining in her eyes. The Professor inclined his head smiling,
"It seems I have yet to outlive my usefulness." He said and then turn to take stock of their situation, "It would seem that we are in quite a spot mm? Middle of the Sea with Theren knows what on our trail, hardly inspiring isn't it?" Jaksi looked around in the darkness, the path they had smashed through the trees allowed a little bit of light to shine through to the forest floor.

"Excellent, we're in the most dangerous place on Therenar outside of the Line. Remember when I said we should've teleported to the conference? Remember that? But no, Gaadan wanted to admire the threkking scenery. Is this scenic enough for you?" Jaksi spat as he walked over to the other Professor menace and rage rushing through his voice as he grew nearer. Sera stepped between them her eyes blazing in warning,

"There's no need to turn on each other gentlemen, from what I've heard of the Sea we'll have more than enough trouble keeping ourselves from becoming lunch for the nearest bark stalker. Fighting amongst ourselves is not going to help, got me?" She said pointing a reproachful finger at Jaksi's chest. The older man snorted and walked over to the trunk of a tree slumping down mumbling angrily to himself under his breath. Sera turned to the other two,

"Now we're stuck here that's true but that doesn't mean we can't manage. Professor do you know any kind of illumination spells? That should keep the beasts away, they're used to the darkness and won't be able to handle the light or at least, for a while. I'll start a fire, we'll need it in case your spell doesn't work." Gaadan nodded and closed his eyes humming rhythmically to help him concentrate as he prepared to phase. Sera watched bemused as the Professor's body began to glow a bright turquoise as he entered the Ethereal Plane and began accessing the power necessary to cast his spell. Being an Okana, Sera had never needed to commune with the Ethereal Stream but she had heard from the other Harbingers that such a process was invigorating.

But then, coming in contact with the very essence of the Gods was bound to be. Gaadan opened his eyes which had changed from their kindly deep brown to two crackling orbs of blue energy. His feet touched the ground and he raised his hands to the sky, his head bowed. Sera watched her mouth slightly open as small sparks of Ethereal energy escaped Gaadan's eyes as swirling tendrils of the magic leapt from his chest to the outstretched palms of his arms and then shot upwards. As they climbed to a few dozen blades above the company the spheres of blue light exploded in a halo of radiance spreading outwards, illuminating the stretch of forest that the four were in giving them a clear view of everything in it. As they were bathed in the brilliant light Sera could clearly hear the screeches and skittering of various creatures and beasts that had no doubt been eyeing all of them hungrily.

"Good, now." Sera gestured with the nonchalance and ease that was the hallmark of the Okana and immediately a bright ball of flame encircled her fist. With another gesture she sent the ball to float in the middle of the company, there it burned without wood or other materials, fed by the Divine's own power. Sera sighed to herself, at least the Divine had not forsaken her in that sense.