Oh, sorry, I'm back....
I realized this right after I hit submit.
Last night when I was falling asleep, this thread actually popped into my head....it made my stomach clench for a second and I thought "ooooo, yuck.." before turning my thoughts to something else.
maybe it was a half dream, but I thought about someone standing next to me in a store telling me how their teddy bear had the ashes of their baby in it.
makes my stomach do a little flip flop right now....
I've thought a lot about this before posting. I can say this much .... if I had it to do all over again, I think the teddy bear would have been a good thing for me. I would not have carried the bear around. Not sure why, I just know I wouldn't have. But I can easily see myself hugging that bear when I needed the closeness of her.
I'd like to think that his lady is simply dealing with her loss in the best way that she can right now and that time will befriend her. That she will feel her childs love in all things, not just that bear.
God bless her.
Hi Brooke! Nice to see you in H.I.
Just to recap my position, I feel the container in which the ashes are stored isn't ultimately important.
I thing it's the taking of the ashes wherever you go, on an ongoing basis, which has the potential to become a bit odd, and perhaps unhealthy mentally.
If it was me, I think a photo of the loved one is more meaningful to carry around. Remember them as they were, not the remains.
But, ultimately, each to their own.
ditto....sorry if anyones feelings were trampled upon....Tico
I remember when my kid was a baby -- and this still happens sometimes -- that when I missed her it would be a physical ache in the center of my chest that would only go away when I hugged her. I can easily imagine how having something huggable would help.
I was never a mother but hopefully one day will be. I see how a bear can help
Agreeing with Tico, Soz, nimh, Brooke, et. al.
When the poor lady is ready, she'll be ready.
I can't imagine losing T and one of the babies at the same time, which is essentially what happened to this woman.
And does Chai Tea have any room to accuse others of "eww, yuck" stuff?
Hi Brooke! Nice to see you in H.I.
Great to see you too, my friend!
@tin sword arthur,
this little angel in that teddy bear is my niece and i would have done the same thing i would want my baby dug in the ground now i was 6 when this baby was murdered and no family should go through what me and my family did so i would suggest not to say anything rude or hurtful thanks and have a nice day
well that bear holds my niece and i dont appreciate you guys saying these things.She is a little baby i would have done the same thing and try and be our family having to know that or baby was murdered so i would very much so like if u would not say those things thanks and have a nice day
i find this very un respectable that you guys are sitting here bashing what these people, that woman in the photo is my mother and that bear is my sister, not a monster at night or however Arthur put it, and the sickest part about it is, you have no remorse on what you are saying, they gave me the chance to hold my sister again, the chance to still feel like she is with me, you know i sat up for 5 nights no sleep while i was in middle school because of the indecent. i cried myself to sleep because i knew she wasn't coming back and when i got this bear, i slept, i didn't take naps, i fell asleep, i didn't cry anymore, what these people gave to us was a chance to feel normal again, to feel like she was still there, and i thank them, with all my heart, but i spit on your grave the day you die, i will have no sympathy for you or your family, because all that sat here and said it was disturbing, or gross, or any of that bull ****, had no sympathy for me and mine, you have a good day, because knowing that i spoke up for my family and the one's who gave us my sister bear, i will have a good life as well,
So, basically, you open one a2k account in order to troll a 6 and a half year old thread, whereas many if of the posters are no longer active here at a2k, making claims that can basically not be proven.
When no one comes charging at you to counterattack you (wishes of being an online martyr of sorts?), you open a second account with further unprovable claims. Your timing is suspicious considering your the one dredging up old dirt that no one remembers.
You should have let inactive threads lie where they may.
@tin sword arthur,
you dear sir need to get hit in the face, that woman in the photo is my mother and that " horror movie." as you put it is my life, and if your really going to sit there and bash what these people did for us then get hit by a truck you have no heart, they gave me the chance to hold my sister again, the chance to feel like she was still there, you know i had just turned 13 when it happened, I cried my eyes out every day, i still have depression issues. and im about to be 20 years old, i have marks up and down my body because of this, and when i got this bear, i felt safer, i felt calmer, i didn't hate life anymore cus i had my life in my arms, so no "tin sword Arthur" there is nothing wrong with it, and if you have that big of a problem with it THEN GET OFF THE PAGE AND GO BE AN ASS SOMEWHERE ELSE,
Why are you attacking someone who hasn't been back to the site since ...
You're not too terribly web-savvy.
Sun 20 Jun, 2010 03:10 pm
I don't remember seeing this thread before. Not sure what I would have said then. Very oddly, I agree with everybody somewhat.
The teddy bear for ashes business bothers me as a business (did they just take out the battery in the AA talking bear?)
But I also understand grief and having desire to hold the person dear.
Years ago I made fun to my husband, and he back to me, of our reliably nutso neighbor (nutso for much more than this episode, though I understand her more as years pass) for wanting her kitty Fluffer to be buried with her.
Now I have Pacco's ashes on the mantel in a jar that my former business partner gave to me as a kitchen container. Why?
I've not kept ashes of former pets, and I'm mildly doubtful re the ashes in the jar being from my dog, but the Pacc was around for me in trying times. He's Welsh, you know - being a corgi - and I dragged him along to the high desert I live in now.
My thought is that I could toss the ashes some day somewhere other than the desert. This is sheer sentiment and I know it.
I'm not saying dog ashes are the same as a child's, but griefs can be related.
Back to losing humans - I hate it commercialized and cutsiefied.
Sounds like a rook, but I haven't read enough to be accusatory.
because i just got onto mine, and felt like it was disrespectful no matter when it was said, it wasn't needed to be said,
and i wasn't attacking as you put it, i was simply saying my opinion like he did,
i realize im late on your comment, but she didn't carry it around, except for a few times in the beginning, we would take it to dinner and family events, it was mainly for me an my baby brother, i took it to school with me, to the park, and i am about to be 20 yrs old, if someone gave me a bad look or anything i would simply say "your looks don't bother me, while i have my sister by my side," He would take her to school and take naps with it, yes it is a bit odd but it's how we coup with the loss, he is now 9 yrs old., I had just turned 13 an he was around 1 so we needed something to hold, im not trying to attack you or anything, just wanted to get things cleared,