Why do people commit suicide?

my experiences.
this will always be at least mystery.

I'm not sure it actually does go against our programming. Afterall humans are programed to bo social- programming that contributes greatly to our survival due to our ability to communicate and the fact that there are many animals that are much stronger and better developed to survive by themselves. People really could not survive by themselves.

how does that fit? Well many psycologists and sociologists claim that most people who commit suicide do so because they feel extremely diconnected, powerless, and or shunned by and with in society. Often these people are extremely lonely or feel the have no one else/ no one else cares.

#1
My personal experience supports this. I had one childhood friend hang himself two years back. Apparently his mother was living in a car somewhere and he could not find or talk to her. Also many of his college friends had graduated and moved away so he had few people to talk to. I had one brief chat about two weeks before it happened(the first time we had spoken in about 7 months) in which he told me he was going to move soon b/c there was little left for him where he lived.


#2
I had another high school friend shoot himself b/c his girl friend, which he was completely in love with, left him and said she never wanted to see him again. She stopped taking his phone calls. He shot himself soon after and the whole story was in the paper.

#3
While I was stationed in Afghanistan a soldier had been hanging out(and a whole lot more) with another soldier of the female persuasion. well when she started blowing him off he shot himself in the head with his M16. He was also somewhat of an outcast in his own unit and she had been one of his few friends. Also his distance from home and family is believed to have contributed. This is also a fairly common thing for about 1 out of every 2000 basic training soldiers. I have many friends who had to conduct suicide watch in basic because another soldier tried to kill himself.

This post is sad as well as the whole topic, but I believe it is something people need to talk about. one of the best ways to combat suicide would be to combat loneliness and try to help everyone find a place they feel they belong.

I doubt animals have the same pressures we have.
While we are working our ar*es off to make money,making sure that we have the latest status symbol(which I think is silly)a bear is sh*tting in the woods.

I suppose its down to pressure or unhappiness.Not being able to see a way out.
I suppose animals dont commit suicide but Id imagine they kill more than humans do.

Misconceptions cause people to take their own lives.

Like this girl I knew. She just lost it, and when she took off her clothes, folded them neatly, and went into the sea, I don't think she knew what she was doing.

She was found dead the next day.

We can only speculate as to her motives, but after this happened some months ago, I've revised my understanding of the issue suicide.

There may be no more "sin" in it than there is in dying in a planecrash.
It may not be against nature, because we don't fully understand what nature is, and cannot say for sure.

For the normal person, with the proper chemical balance in their brains, suicide isn't an option.

Working out problems is.

It takes a person with a chemical imbalance to see suicide as an acceptable way out. That imbalance isn't 'normal', there for they don't go against any programming.......they are following what is natural for them.

Losing serotonin, causes alot of issues, depression being number one.

I'm not convinced, shewolf. Basically you say that people who are suicidal are sick. That's sharing a whole spectrum of diverse personalities and diverse problems and motivations under one common denominator.

The surge in suicides has IMHO a lot todo with our current individualistic society. Too few people notice and care for the problems of their neighbors. It is the age where people can lie dead(by natural causes) in their apartments for weeks at a time before they are finally noticed.
We as a species need to become more socially alert and responsive. Empathy is an answer, not just medicine

interesting thoughts najmelliw.

But I caught myself wondering; who exactly are the ones that need to learn more empathy?
The people who stay alive?
Or the people that take their lives?

First of all, aperson. Most suicide attempts are a call for help, and if death ensues, it is usually accidental. When a person is determined to do himself in, there is no way to stop him. Our friend in Virginia Beach, parked his car down the street from his home; lit charcoal after plugging everything that could induct air; got into bed and died from carbon monoxide poisoning. It was once thought that lemmings were running off the cliffs because they were attempting to kill themselves. Not so:

http://www.abc.net.au/science/k2/moments/s1081903.htm

I see many of those people commiting suicide as victims of an uncaring society. They may cry out for attention but not receive any. I know this sounds very melodramatic, but I fear it's for a large part true. The empathy should be learned by all, so we can see and reach out to those that need it, and they in turn can find someone to help them cope with their issues.

she wolf I meant to just quote you and add my own message...so consider yourself quoted before this (this laptop has weird double clicking issues sometimes.)

anyway...

shewolf there is some truth to your statements, a chemically balanced mind or lack thereof, does contribute to someones state of mind.

But how helpful is this?

I think anyone has the capacity for suicide in the right circumstances, just like anyone could commit murder.

I don't want to ignore the chemical contributions to our state of mind, but I do think that such reasons are OVERATED. I think the circumstances are much more important.

We have become a culture where everything can be "cured" with drugs. it's doctors first answer. Don't just take counseling you must take drugs.

I don't think trying to "chemically balance our brains is the answer." I do agree with many others in this thread: we need more empathy and caring. That and children need to be taught better when young how to handle stress and loneliness.

everyone can control their emotions with effort. There is no doubt that some must work much harder than others, but everyone has the capacity for choice. Anyone can take control of their lives, some people just need help from those around them.

I often wonder if I'd just decided to hang out with that first friend more if he would've killed himself. Maybe he just needed someone to listen and have some sympathy.

Letty, that was a fun link. I never knew such myths ever existed about lemmings.
And there's even a Norway Lemming.

Thing is, that in norway the landscape can be as erratic as lemming behavior, and therefore many lemmings take the famous death plunge involuntarily.


But on the issue,

I think it's sad that people kill themselves, and beyond that I cannot truly comprehend much. I only try to imagine the anguish that would drive a person to such extremes. It can happen even in the most harmonious of environments, often with one percieved to be an optimistic individual. Maybe that is a factor. All that anguish chained so ruthlessly... I don't know.

People often commit suicide because the pain of living becomes unbearable. My father was one of those. He had multiple serious health issues, and several close calls in the months leading up to his death. I won't deny that depression was part of the problem, but the bottom line was that he just didn't want to go through any more. He'd had enough.

Teenagers account for the largest percentage of suicides, but the elderly are a close second.

Not all that easy to define suicide. How many "accidents" are suicide? Even my grandmother at age 99 called me one day from the nursing home and said "Dys, I'm really tired, I think I will just die tonight." She did, was that suicide?

If one eliminates the religious aspect, it is a simple mathematical computation. If the pain, misery, or general unhappiness one gets from being alive is greater than the pleasures one gets from being alive, suicide makes sense. This equation does not take into account the pain that your suicide will cause your loved ones.

Twenty five years ago, I considered suicide. I had been in and out of depression for years. I was connected at church, at work, had a network of friends and family. But I was so depressed and in so much pain that I didn't consider all that. I just wanted the pain to stop. I don't think I really wanted to die. I had made a pact with my therapist that I would call him before I committed suicide. So I called him, and one of things he said to me was, "Frankly, I think you're far too upset to make a decision this important right now. If you want it to all be over, take the pills. But if you want to give it another chance, come to my office and we'll talk about it."

Needless to say, I'm still here today and happy as a clam. I think many people kill themselves to get out of intense pain, physical or emotional. It may be a split second decision, but it lasts forever.

I'll reread Anna Karenina by Tolstoj someday. It's another time, another social class, and, in my case, another gender, but nevertheless I think this book clearly shows how people can be driven to such an extreme measure as suicide. I hvae contemplated, and occasionally still contemplate, suicide. But I doubt I'll ever commit it, because :

a. I know it would kill my mother, a sweet and very selfconscious christian. The fact that I don't believe anymore already hurts her more then she cares to say, but I know for sure that my suicide would be a tragedy for her on many different aspects of life.
b. I'm too chicken.

Still, it's somehow comforting to know that one solution always exists in the background.

Naj

Dys...that sort of thing happens more often than most people think. People do lose the will to live. It may not be exactly the same thing as suicide, but I think it's related.

mags...you had a very smart therapist. I'm glad you're around to tell the story. Some people call suicide "a permanent solution to a temporary problem." That would have been true in your case.

In my father's case, however, that was not true. He opted out of a situation where his suffering would only increase. Nevertheless, as much as I understand it, I wouldn't recommend it. I seriously doubt he'd have gone through with it if he'd known what hell he was putting us through.

Mags, you are probably a prime example of why suicide is usually a mistake. How wonderful that you had a good therapist. There were a few years when suicide was something I longed to have the courage to do. It was only because I had children that I didn't act on the impulse. Now I'm happier than I've ever been in my life.

There are some cases though, that make me wonder if suicide is always such a bad thing. This is where the chemical imbalance that shewolf mentioned comes into play. Once in a while, antidepressants don't work, life has become so tragic that there truly is nothing left to live for--in that case, suicide could well be the best solution to ending constant pain and endless grief.

I have a living will stating that extreme treatment not be used if I were in a vegetative state (bringing to mind Terri Schiavo). In those cases, I think it is a kindness to the loved ones to put an end to something that will end eventually anyway, without relief or the ability to say goodbye. I would far prefer my family to remember me when I was vital and loving life than as a vegetable.

Leaving out religion, my opinion is that suicide can, sadly, be the best solution to an endlessly tragic situation.

Diane, this is an aside.

As a Unitarian, I get the biggest kick out of your tag line, "We are Unitarian Jihad!" Just had to tell you.

Sweetie, come by for coffee and cookies any time at all, whether there is a revolution or not.

Extremely sincerely yours,

Sister Molotov Cocktail of Compassionate Mercy