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Well, i'm new...so here i go!

 
 
Terkish
 
Reply Sat 10 May, 2003 05:18 pm
What is life?
Life is an open field.
There are no paths to walk by.
It has no signs to warn us.
It does not discriminate.
It does not pick and choose.
Where we walk within this field is up to us.
Life did not write this.
I did.

As large as this field might seem,
There is only one.
Life is not yours.
As much as you might think it is.
It's not.
This field we walk in is already shared.
You cannot change that.

Footprints will be made wether you mean to or not.
And others will see them.
Just as you see the footprints of others.
You may try to walk within their steps,
But it will never work.
Footprints in life only make a path for one person,
And that path is made by the same person who takes it.

Life is about the next step.
It is not about regrets.
It is about tomorrow.
It is always about tomorrow, never yesterday.
Life is not dwelling on the past.
Not waiting for a sign.
Not longing for days that we have walked by.
Your life is your choice.
You can graze in your pasture forever,
Surrounded and secluded by mountains of fear.
You can run as far as you like,
Meet as many people as you like,
Even change how they walk this field themselves.
But you are not alone.
"Alone" is not life.

Is this what life is?
Or is this what life is to me?
Which of those two are more important?


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well what do you all think?

For anyone just reading this, disreguard the last three lines...they suck and were thrown in by my own personal poem destroying boredom :-D. I'd delete them but i'm no cop-out! In fact, I think i'll put my redundant little ending in bold! MUAHAHA!
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 972 • Replies: 12
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sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Sat 10 May, 2003 05:30 pm
Hi, Terkish, and welcome!

Some interesting insights in your poem. I wish all people felt that sort of freedom -- that life is what you make of it.
0 Replies
 
nimh
 
  1  
Reply Sat 10 May, 2003 05:34 pm
Welcome to A2K, Terkish. Hope you'll find this a nice place to use to try out, look at your writing, see what reactions you get, look at others'.

I like your style - the terseness, the almost clean-cutness - like browsing through a series of statements, observations, that are cut back to basics while never wholly disallowing ambiguity. A good reminder about "life" while not being too preachy. Perhaps the last three sentences are redundant, or could be phrased more indirectly - the poem might not need him. Thanks for writing 'us', the A2K audience, with this ...
0 Replies
 
Terkish
 
  1  
Reply Sat 10 May, 2003 05:41 pm
Hehe the whole thing was just from day-dreaming during a three hour car ride i had today. I agree about the last three lines. I think i just threw them in due to boredom. :-) thank you for the critique :-).
0 Replies
 
Phoenix32890
 
  1  
Reply Sat 10 May, 2003 05:45 pm
Terkish- Welcome to A2K- Beautiful work- Really enjoyed it!
0 Replies
 
sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Sat 10 May, 2003 05:45 pm
I HATE ending poems. I usually start a poem because the opening lines just come to me; "Ooh, nice, I'd like to make a poem out of that!" Then I go on for a while; "Not bad, not bad." Then I try to end it; "Uhhhhhh... no. How about... no. I could... no." Evil or Very Mad
0 Replies
 
Terkish
 
  1  
Reply Sat 10 May, 2003 05:47 pm
Phoenix32890 wrote:
Terkish- Welcome to A2K- Beautiful work- Really enjoyed it!


:-) thank you
0 Replies
 
Terkish
 
  1  
Reply Sat 10 May, 2003 05:50 pm
sozobe wrote:
I HATE ending poems. I usually start a poem because the opening lines just come to me; "Ooh, nice, I'd like to make a poem out of that!" Then I go on for a while; "Not bad, not bad." Then I try to end it; "Uhhhhhh... no. How about... no. I could... no." Evil or Very Mad


Hehe been there. This whole poem started with that first little question i ask. Ending poems does suck. It's like trying to stop an avalanche of thought and emotion with one sentence. Blah! Why does there have to be endings!
0 Replies
 
Terkish
 
  1  
Reply Sat 10 May, 2003 05:53 pm
sozobe wrote:
Hi, Terkish, and welcome!

Some interesting insights in your poem. I wish all people felt that sort of freedom -- that life is what you make of it.


Yeah, it just seems natural to look at life that way for me. But then again i guess that is what opinions are in the first place...natural feelins. Wow i'm just a fountain of redundancy! :-P
0 Replies
 
sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Sat 10 May, 2003 05:57 pm
Naw... nice to have you on board! (No, we're not a cult, we just like interesting newbies. Very Happy)
0 Replies
 
Gen
 
  1  
Reply Sat 10 May, 2003 11:30 pm
Hiya,

I'm the Resident Unicorn mare.. Hiama is the Stallion of the bunch! :wink:

Great work. hope to see you around!

Welcome!
0 Replies
 
Diane
 
  1  
Reply Sun 11 May, 2003 12:15 pm
Welcome, Terkish!
Endings are difficult, but I liked yours very much:

But you are not alone.
"Alone" is not life.


So true!
0 Replies
 
kong
 
  1  
Reply Sun 11 May, 2003 04:48 pm
though I don't agree wit' errythang u said, i can't deny ur poem's ability to make me ponder ur point of view... (not 2 mention its commanding style)
0 Replies
 
 

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