contested adoption

Hi blessedangel, and welcome to A2K. I have to run (dinner) but I did want to welcome you and I'll think about your situation. I take it you've talked with your lawyer?

I was hoping someone would have wrote me back. Please give some advice. Things are in a bad way for me. I heard bio's mother knows the adoption judge. What should I do.

BlessedAngle, nobody on A2K can tell you what you should do -- only your attorney can do that. You need to talk to them.

We can hold your hand and help you learn the right questions to ask your attorney but that is about it. We're willing to do that. Everyone here did it for me. But until they pass the bar in my state it would be totally irresponsible for them to tell me what to do. The same goes for you.

Contested adoption in these cases is not unusual. My niece is currently trying to have her daughter adopted by her current husband. The child's father hasn't seen the girl in nearly four years. He is contesting the adoption. He has a right to do that.

My husband and I are filing for adoption of a boy who has lived with us for three and a half years. Either of his parents could contest the adoption -- they have a right to do so.

That doesn't mean that they would win in court.

But they could.

And I'm no more prepared for that than you are!

On this thread we are digging up info on yesterday's Supreme Court ruling regarding psychological parenting -- it might be of interest to you.

http://www.able2know.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=74633&highlight=

The crazy thing about adoption is it is assumed that if you can't pay for all of the associated fees that you can't afford to raise a child.

GALs are usually volunteers that don't get paid.

You can get a tax credit for up to $10,000 towards adoption expenses in most cases.

What "everything" are you being ordered to pay for that you did not anticipate having to pay for?

We have to pay for the GAL I was told yesterday I have to pay 1,500 for a transcriber and I was told I need to pay for expert witness. A psych evaluation. And all this was ordered by the judge. I'm not getting along with my atty these days. I guess she has better fish to fry. On the court order from the judge it states Me and my husband have to pay for everything including the GAL.She was ordered by the judge on 3/31 and we have yet to hear from her. I know you guys cant tell me what to do but I really need some suggestions on how to handle all of this. How can I get the judge to allow her DYFS records into court? Or her welfare records she has welfare fraud against her. And also about the bios mom knowing the judge? I took out a loan to pay for somethings. I guess I should say the baby has never been in the system. Never been part of the bio moms DYFS case. I've had her since the moment she was born we named her and we brought her home from the hosp.

I wish I had more advice for you because I can tell that you are truly in a panic. I know that you love this child. I'm familiar with the fear that biology trumps everything.

Maybe bio-mom knows the judge because she has appeared before him on other matters. "Knowing" a judge is not always a good thing.

The one suggestion I do have for you is to interview other attorneys.

We interviewed a dozen (and they interviewed us) before we found one who was willing to go in under our state's "psychological parent" law (Does your state have one? It is a hard law to use but a powerful one to have in your favor.)

I spent months researching the laws of my state, asking questions, asking more questions, paying for attorney consultations, asking for referrals, you name it.

Talk to ADOPTION attorneys. They aren't cheap but I have learned that they are worth the price.

I know you want what is best for this child.

I hope someone drops in here that knows more about it than I do.

Best of luck to you, BlessedAngle. Please keep us informed.

New Jersey apparently does have a psychological parent law: http://216.109.125.130/search/cache?ei=UTF-8&fr=slv1-&p=new+jersey+psychological+parent+law&u=www.hawaii.edu/hivandaids/05%25202000%2520LesbianGay%2520Law%2520Notes.pdf&w=new+jersey+psychological+parent+law&d=Pur60EaqMjqi&icp=1&.intl=us

The homosexual community in every city is really at the forefront of these laws. You might try to find a lawyer though a gay parenting group, they are going to be very familiar with issues similar to what your dealing with and they will know the laws inside out.