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Thu 11 May, 2006 03:02 pm
Wife has a job, brings money into the house. Husband, on the other hand, stays at home. He is currently "doing stocks", in the last several years he lost over 30,000 dollars. The husband manages all of the finances, hides them from his wife. In one instance the wife asked for a split account, he opposed it strongly and threatened that the house would have to be sold if she did it. It appears that the husband isn't exactly a smart person. He had been deluding himself and lying to his family about his success in stocks, only recently having admitted his losses (but still believing to be a good trader). Had started several businesses in the past, failing each one. Has not paid major taxes on TWO occasions in a rather distant past. He also fills out every credit card in his wife's name, apparently he gets new ones every now and then to move the massive debt around.
When confronted about it, he yells, puts himself as the victim of an unloving wife, and simply refuses to give his wife information about credit cards filled in with her name. The wife does not even know the true value of the debt.
So what options would the wife have in finding out what the real deal is without risking divorce with the husband? What solutions exist to force the husband to give information?
Thank you in advance.
To force the husband to give information? Divorce.
Seriously, the husband needs help. If the wife wants to know what's happening with the credit cards, and they are in her name, she should just call the credit card companies and have them send information to her place of business or a parent's house.
If the cards are in her name, she can simply call the credit card company and get all of the info that she wants.
People do to you what you allow them to do. Why is she being such a patsy and allowing this man to control her finances like this? If he got in too deep financially, all he has to do is skip town. She'll be fully responsible since everything is under her name. I almost feel sorry for her but, she allows this so...
She can request a copy of her credit report from each of the 3 major credit reporting agencies for free and on-line (which presumably she could do at work to aviod him knowing..). That would list all of the open credit account and a fairly recent balance (within a few months) on each.
Then she should dump his ass and let the proper autorities know that he opened the accounts without her permission.
I'm just going to say it..."Something isn't sitting well with me on this post."
I'm wondering...who are you? The husband? The wife? Or a Girlfriend or Boyfriend or the wife/husband?
Sorry...but like I said...something doesn't sound right here...more like a boyfriend that wants to open the girlfriends eyes up to her husbands antics...
Sounds more like the wife to me.
Wow, this sounds like a subject for the legal forum
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Since the credit cards are in the wife's name, can't she just get a credit report run and sent to her? That'll give her all the balances, and payment history, wouldn't it?
In addition, if I were the wife, I'd get an attorney involved to (a) gain possession of all the credit cards in my name (b) having his name removed as an authorized user
you should be able to do that yourself by calling the cc company and proving who you are. (c) I'd go so far as to investigate the possibility of declaring him legally incompetent as far as handling financial matters.
Personally, I'd turn off any emotions toward this, and treat it as pure business. His ranting is to through you off track.
Remain on task, he wants you to get confused as to what the real problem is right now
the loss of your money.
Worry about the personal stuff later.
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At least that's how I approached a similar situation, and it indeed worked.
Chai Tea wrote:In addition, if I were the wife, I'd get an attorney involved to (a) gain possession of all the credit cards in my name (b) having his name removed as an authorized user
you should be able to do that yourself by calling the cc company and proving who you are. (c) I'd go so far as to investigate the possibility of declaring him legally incompetent as far as handling financial matters.
Personally, I'd turn off any emotions toward this, and treat it as pure business. His ranting is to through you off track.
Remain on task, he wants you to get confused as to what the real problem is right now
the loss of your money.
I agree with contacting a lawyer but I suspect they'd tell her not to talk to the credit card issuer at all at this point. If she has him removed as an account user she, in effect, accepts responsibility for all of the debt. If she leaves him on the cards and tells a judge at divorce time that he's oipened the accounts in her name and that she was unaware of them the judge isn't going to look light;ly on his actions and he'd probably get stuck with it all (assuming that forged signatures, etc.. could be proved..)
I agree with eoe and whomever else suggested that she can get a credit report by calling the card companies...if they're in her name, she's entitled. The problem I see is that she may not know the secret code or password or whatever if he's been the one ordering them. In that case, she should seek legal advice - actually, I think she should do that anyway. I'd like to know why she wouldn't want a divorce... I'd get one in a nanosecond. Ick. Glad that's not me.
http://affiliates.creditreporting.com/index.html?id=2017&AID=8128210&PID=1282873
http://www.onlinecreditinfo.com/?SC=CJ0303&AID=2948677&PID=1282873
Get the credit info now.
Then call a lawyer, with the credit info in hand. Even if a divorce is not wanted (and anyone in this position would be monumentally foolish to play along with this), an attorney will still be needed for the purposes of attempting to extricate the wife from this nonsense. Truly, the husband should go to jail for fraud.
You're quite right fishin' about not taking his name off right now. Good thinking.
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