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Mon 17 Apr, 2006 03:34 am
I sit here on my bed,
And watch my own tears fall.
I think of how much I want to die.
Would they remember me at all?
I take a look at my wrist,
And slide my fingers down my skin.
This has always been my only way,
Of letting everything out from within.
I wish my life was perfect,
So I wouldn't have to deal with all the pain.
I know it's wrong but I just can't stop,
Cutting each and every vein.
Sometimes I really wonder,
If my own family cares.
Sometimes I wish they did.
But fu** it...life just isn't fair.
You never really said anything,
When you saw my own tears fall.
So what if I died, people?
Would you remember me...at all?
Pinky - I would remember you. In fact I think I do remember some little two line poems you posted a while back about love and facing the world and the people in it in a loving way. Maybe I'm wrong, but it seems to me that I read some poems like that on this forum in pink writing.
I've avoided replying to your more recent poems because I can't figure out if you're making a joke about the fact that there are a lot of people out there who feel really sad enough to do what you speak of here and you're ridiculing them, or if you are really sad, but are handling it and communicating about it in a somewhat manipulative way to get attention.
I should be mowing my lawn - but it's cold outside and I'm doing everything I can do to avoid getting out there, so I figured I'd take a stab and respond on the off chance that you are really sad and need attention and help.
But I can't give you any words of advice because I don't know what your specific situation is and I'm not a professionally trained counselor and that's who you should be speaking to if you really are cutting and thinking about suicide and dying. There are numbers you can call where you will find trained help for people who are in crisis. Look in your yellow pages under counselors. In the front of the phone book there should be a number for emergency or crisis counseling. If you can't find it, call your local operator and ask for the appropriate information. You should use the term- "Emergency or crisis counseling"
If you are a kid, you can talk to your guidance counselor at school and get information about people and/or organizations for people who are trained and available to help you.
I hope you feel better soon. I have to tell you I was tempted to ignore you for the very reason that you posted this on the internet. It's so hard to tell what's real and what's not here. This is probably not the best place to ask for help if you really need it.
If you don't really need it and you're just fooling around (though god help you if you find this kind of **** funny or amusing in any way- but hey- I've learned to just say, "to each his/her own- it takes all kinds), I only have one thing to say- shame on you- but thanks for diverting and distracting me and keeping me out of that cold, damp grass for just a few more minutes.
By the way - what did you mean when you responded to contrex with "10x"? (sometimes I feel so old and out of it).
My God if you leave poems like that you wont be forgotton.
That was beautiful!!!
bye
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