THE MOUNTAIN MAN

This story is based on comments by author William Golding (Lord of the Flies, etc.) during a symposium.

THE MOUNTAIN MAN
By BumbleBeeBoogie - March 23, 1995

A mountain man, celebrating his 21st birthday in the town's gathering place, was entertaining his friends with tales of his first day trip to the big city. He leaned against the bar with a can of beer in his hand and described the long tour bus trip and the astonishing sights he saw along the way.

"I was jest wandering the streets buying trinkets for Mama and Little Sister and eaten the strangest food you ever ete. I run out of money and was walkin back to the bus depot when a sweet young gal leaning agin the brick wall of a bar called out to me. I'm thinkin to meself, she sure is friendly-like to welcome a stranger to her city, so I stopped to talk to her."
A pleasant memory spread across his face. "I jest liked her friendly ways so much and she were so purty, I din't notice how late it was gettin, so I jest decided to take the last bus home."

With a big grin the Mountain Man recalled, "Now that sweet young gal took me up the stairs to her room and she warn't embarrassed that the building were all dirty and her furniture ain't so good."

"What happened next?" his friends asked.

"Well, that little gal fixed me some soup and peanut butter sanwiches. And, he laughed, She gave me some of the fiercest White Lightnin I ever drunk and I be gawd dammed if I din't miss the last bus home."

How'd ya git yerself out'a that fix?" his friends wondered.

"Well, that sweet lil gal tole me it were too late to git a room. So I ast her what I should do. And you won't believe what happened next."

Blushing beet red he said, "She were so sweet she give me half her bed and shared her pillow. And, would'ja believe it, she were so kind that she din't wear her nightie because I din't brung no pajamas."

There was dead quiet in the room as his friends looked at each other.

Finally, he broke the silence. "In the mornin after I waked up from a long sleep, that sweet little gal done give me a real nice breakfast of coffee and toast with grape jam all over it. She even hugged me at the door afore me an she said goodbye."

Suddenly, the Mountain Man stopped in the middle of his story, noticing the older men were rolling their eyes and snickering behind their hands. With a mixture of astonishment and conviction, he took a swig from his can of beer and announced:

"Dang! you know what? If'n I'd played me cards right, I could'a had that sweet gal!"