what do you think of my poem?

I like the message Kassi - especially the line about the world inflicting boundaries.

I'm not sure what "voice" you are working for here, but in a way, the lack of "correct" punctuation, grammar and even spelling, all work together to make the message of your poem seem even more powerful, in that the strength of what you're saying comes through even more strongly when conveyed without the neat little rules that we all subject ourselves to.

Aidan that was my point not to every thing perfect because in the world now every thing has to be perfect and if it is not you are looked down upon

it's very difficult to read actually ... very choppy and awkward ... but the subject is good ... I tend to read my poems out loud once they're "done" to see if they need any tweaking.