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Mon 27 Feb, 2006 07:14 pm
Pillicide
Oh my God,
What have I done?
But it is too late to think about that.
The bottle is now empty,
Half of the contents on the floor,
The other half in my stomach.
What does the bottle say?
250 milligrams?
That isn't enough to kill me, is it?
No, it's not 250 milligrams,
That was the Tylenol that I took yesterday.
Oh man
..
It says 550.
It's still not enough is it?
I am answered by the dizziness that hits me like a hurricane.
Suddenly, the floor is where the ceiling should be,
And I start to shake uncontrollably.
My thoughts scatter like frightened animals hearing a gunshot going off in the near forsaken distance,
I start to vomit,
The contents of my yesterday meal spilling on to the floor.
I try to move my head,
But, it's like moving a heavy, cement block.
As I inhale,
The putrid smell of my own filth reaches my nose,
And I vomit all over again.
This time though,
Instead of yesterdays meal,
Its pure stomach acid,
Like I got the flu real bad,
And there's nothing left to throw up.
The acid burns my throat,
Eating away at the protective layer of skin,
Making it raw.
The inside of my nostrils blaze,
As puke snakes up and finds its way out.
Another inhale
..
Now I find myself with a mouthful of my own vomit,
My own regurgitate vomit.
My vision falters,
Black swirling with white,
And white fading to black.
I don't now what's reality,
Or what's fantasy.
The world that I once knew,
Dims,
Disappears,
And becomes opaque.
My vision is gone,
So is my hearing.
WAIT
.
No, it's still there,
But fading rapidly.
In the distance,
The Echo of my own Mind,
I hear voices
"There she is," First Paramedic.
"What did she take?" Second Paramedic.
"Penicillin"
"How many?"
"12
um 24 counts
12 on the floor
.I think 12",
"12
what milligram," this time the Second Paramedic sounds urgent.
"550," a quick, but calm, response.
"Check her breathing
.any pulse?"
"Yes, but very faint," more urgency from First Paramedic.
Then, I loose absolute consciousness,
And the world goes black.
Somehow,
Even though I'm unconscious,
I hear:
"She's gone".
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