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Pompas$ Contest!

 
 
Reply Fri 17 Feb, 2006 09:44 pm
Hi!

Inspired by all the one-way top-down lecture-like posts cropping up here, I thought I'd invite everyone to a Pompous Post Contest.

Come on, don't be shy. I know you are there.

Here's some guidelines to get us started. The better you do in these areas, the higher you will score. Kind of like the Olympics. (I know there's several categories I'm missing. Please help me out with that).

Guidelines:

1. Write in a pseudo-intellectual manner.
2. If you are not sure what a long word means, just go ahead and use it. (Its fun!)
3. Be sure to post very long missives, and be sure to imply that you are above all repliers to your post.
4. Where you can say an idea in 3 sentences, use 36! It proves you're smart.
5. Sentence length: When in doubt, make your sentences longer and longer and longer, use a lot of semicolons, colons, tons of commas (perhaps we'll give bonus points for longest sentence); because recent advanced research has shown that long sentences incorporate the nether regions of our brains -- I am not using these words in the way you are used to so please try to follow or google the research if need to learn more info on the many ways that I am right that you just aren't aware of yet.
6. Name-drop a lot. Try to impress us with your pedigree or whatever course of study you are in. If you have a Ph.D in Engineering, Physics, and Human Sexuality, please note that several times throughout your post. Brag about yourself subtly, mid-range, and obviously.
7. If someone challenges your ideas, respond one of the following ways: Get irritated at them. Question their intelligence. Get all huffy! If it appears that almost everyone disagrees with you, start making derogatory comments about the forum and the people in it in general.

Thats a few to get us started. Anyone else have ideas for more guidelines for really good pomposity?

Or if you'd just like to make a pompous post, please do so.
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msolga
 
  1  
Reply Fri 17 Feb, 2006 10:43 pm
Sadly, my own, personal pomposity is very unconvincing in written form, extra medium. I do better in person, unfortunately! :wink:

But I would be delighted to read other folks' best efforts!
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extra medium
 
  1  
Reply Fri 17 Feb, 2006 10:50 pm
Thats pretty funny. What kinds of things does one do to be pompous in person?

I'm thinking maybe butt into conversations and talk really loud? How about, when someone says something in a conversation, I might just continue on with my illustrious (and educational!) speech as if they had said nothing? Smile

But really, I think if tried really hard, you are probably capable of some pompous posts. Coy. Coy Cat!
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extra medium
 
  1  
Reply Fri 17 Feb, 2006 11:16 pm
silence. great.

When you invite the pompous to post, they do not.

It is only when you don't want them to post, that they do.


Have I inadvertantly stumbled across a basic sublime life truth here? Yaaas, I daresay. Well I'll start writing it up in my new book. Portions of which I will post here, undoubtedly to your edification and undying gratitude. I say you are welcome, in advance.
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LionTamerX
 
  1  
Reply Fri 17 Feb, 2006 11:20 pm
U-R-SO-WACK-DUDE...LOL
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Chumly
 
  1  
Reply Fri 17 Feb, 2006 11:36 pm
I.
Will.
Always.
Talk.
Like.
Captain.
Kirk.
From.
Now.
On.
0 Replies
 
Sanctuary
 
  1  
Reply Sat 18 Feb, 2006 10:18 am
You've always been my favorite, Extra. Laughing

Ah... I too have noticed this trend, but don't think it to be only on A2K(!) (which is short for Able2Know) forums - I once was a moderator on a forum such as this, and the pompous were populating that space as well; if competent, one could compare these pompous folks to the rat population - they bring about disease and illness and just won't die; merely change disease to arrogance and illness to ego, and we're all set!

Perchance they will disappear, though it is doubtful; places such as A2K are havens, oasises if you will, for the pompous breed; it is a place where the 78% majority (pompous) rule and the 20% minority (us) in fact drool. The other 2% are either moderators or new creatures. [according to 2002 statistics] And so we 20% are faced the with task of disbanding this army of fools - this band o' righteous brothers. It is a mission deemed...impossible.

Besides, could it be that pompous people are actually committing the worst pompous crime possible: being incorrect? According to FreeRepublic.com, pompous folk are indeed breaking the number one etiquette rule: thou-shall-not-taunt. It is quite rude to point out another's mistakes, and one with proper etiquette would never do such a thing. Yet this is the reason for most pompous' existence on the Earth!

That being said, do enjoy a great chuckle the next time you witness a pompous being attempting to bring down everyone else; For they are only bringing down themselves.
0 Replies
 
Shapeless
 
  1  
Reply Sat 18 Feb, 2006 10:41 am
Re: Pompas$ Contest!
extra medium wrote:
Anyone else have ideas for more guidelines for really good pomposity?


Can I suggest bonus points? When one's ideas are challenged, there should be a bonus if the original poster responds by reiterating the exact content of the original post, possibly changing a few words (but preferably not), in no way addressing points that others have brought up, and generally resorts to mind-numbing repetition of a few catch phrases probably cribbed from bumper stickers and fortune cookies.

Of course, if you don't like these proposed changes... clearly you are, as the eminent Prof. Ima Buvyuall says, hapless victims in the anti-intellectualist plague of ignorance fostered by Western capitalism, the media and--which other whipping boy am I missing? ...oh yes--Britney Spears.
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extra medium
 
  1  
Reply Sat 18 Feb, 2006 10:48 am
Sanctuary: Great to see you! And I'm glad to see you are also conducting pomposity research. Carry on.

Chumly: Well thank you, someone finally made an actual entry here. Nice first attempt. I'd say perhaps a 6.8 (out of possible 10) for that. [You know, we like to give a respectable score, yet leave room for later entrants.] I like the Kirk reference of course. But you could have scored higher by using some longer words out of context or making some sexist comments or something. Having said that, you are in first place. Number 1, ichiban, uno, primo-donna, the apex of known existence.

LTX: Thank you fine sir. But not helpful. We are conducting a serious enqquirrie here.
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dyslexia
 
  1  
Reply Sat 18 Feb, 2006 10:48 am
I have an 8th grade diploma in SCIENCE! (Well, also in cursive)
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extra medium
 
  1  
Reply Sat 18 Feb, 2006 10:50 am
Shapeless: ooo, I like it!

Hit me baby one more time! & Oops, you know I did it again.
0 Replies
 
extra medium
 
  1  
Reply Sat 18 Feb, 2006 10:52 am
dyslexia wrote:
I have an 8th grade diploma in SCIENCE! (Well, also in cursive)


You might want to go to the "Science & (whatever, I forgot) Forum." You are clearly overqualified for this realm, Dr.
0 Replies
 
Shapeless
 
  1  
Reply Sat 18 Feb, 2006 11:06 am
Cause and Effect, Explained at Last

"People who know little are usually great talkers, while men who know much say little."
--Jean-Jacques Rousseau

I often like to take long walks when I am pondering some philosophical problem. I realize that most of the population will not understand this concept of "walking" without a specific destination in mind--it is, sadly, another sign of the consumer-driven world that we have inherited from the Big Corporation Mindset--but I do this with little heed to what society will make of me because I find that walking helps clear my thoughts.

On such a walk the other day it began to drizzle, which gradually developed into rain. And, like the slow progression of light condensation to more forceful droplets of what the great physicist Dr. Bigname memorably dubbed "rain," so also did my consciousness of what was happening to me grow from a single spark to a consuming fire.

It dawned on me that when it rains, I get wet. This was especially clear to me because I did not have an umbrella on me. I took this to be a symbol of the way in which technological consumerism has caused to accept causal relations without question, to discourage contemplation over why things happen when they do. For clearly, if I had an umbrella on me, I would not be moved to contemplate the cause of my present state of being, i.e. being wet.

I am claiming that rain causes us to become wet. I will further submit that our failure to take the time to articulate this basic causal relation is a sign of our deteriorating minds. If we do not remember this basic fact, how will we as a society survive the trials of the 21st century? But of course, Big Businesses do not want you to know this, because they are by and large the primary culprits behind these trials. It is all a conquest for your wallet, and as evidence I need only cite the number of umbrellas that Americans purchase per year.
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