light vs dark... love vs fear?

Doktor S wrote:

Questioner,
Just to add my two pennies, I would say what has changed isn't how hard the kids have it. What has changed is society has been significantly liberalized since past generations, causing skins in general to thin.
People today are just pussies.

I would agree whole-heartedly with that Dok. I would push it further to say that it's not just the liberalization, it's also a tad of parents caring more about themselves than about their kids.

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hephzibah wrote:

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But whatever. Ok. You're right. Kids today don't stand a chance. So let's just let them give up and piss and moan about how they never had a chance, and about how they're going to screw ourselves up with drugs, and consider suicide. Nothing's their fault. It's just harder now than it was. They're not to blame for any of their choices, it's just the cards they were dealt.

please don't put words in my mouth questioner.

Didn't think I was.

By giving them the out of 'it's just so much harder for you now then it was for me." you're opening the door for the above reasoning. It's not their fault, it's just so much harder now.

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Cliff Hanger wrote:

Berating and belittling Vesuvius's comments are missing the point of his inquiry for dialogue. He is asking for discussion, not a competition on which generation suffers more or equally, or who is a "pussy." You're attempts at steamrolling his comments, or offering condescending flip comments such as "Your life is your life. Do with it what you will" are ridiculous.

I agree.

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Cliff Hanger wrote:

Berating and belittling Vesuvius's comments are missing the point of his inquiry for dialogue. He is asking for discussion, not a competition on which generation suffers more or equally, or who is a "pussy." You're attempts at steamrolling his comments, or offering condescending flip comments such as "Your life is your life. Do with it what you will" are ridiculous.

I did not find my comments condescending at all. He's grown up. He asked for opinions. That's mine. I have no desire to sway him to light or dark.

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your a malaka

Questioner wrote:

Cliff Hanger wrote:
Questioner, did you major in condescension in college?

I don't agree that Vesuvius's generation is no different than any other generation. Younger folks today have a hell of a lot more on their plate then previous generations.

Also, let me just add that this isn't an issue of condescension.

This isn't a cry for help here, this is an 'I dare you to tell me something that will give me an excuse to destroy myself and possibly take a few others with me." which is both childish and immature. It's also something I would expect from a 15 year old, not a 20 year old.

That this individual has problems is not in doubt. That this individual should be humored by providing an excuse to indulge those problems is repugnant.

actually arhithi... the purpose of my message was to share my thoughts and the fact that i now have the clarity of thought to see that self destructive patterns are a cop out and are simply buying in to the worlds fear. how could you mis-interpret a message like that.

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Yep--Mount Vesuvius.

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Re: your a malaka

vasouvius wrote:

actually arhithi... the purpose of my message was to share my thoughts and the fact that i now have the clarity of thought to see that self destructive patterns are a cop out and are simply buying in to the worlds fear. how could you mis-interpret a message like that.

It would appear that I misread a portion of your post, for that I apologize.

Let me re-address your original post:

Quote:

however... my dark side is very real. sometimes... most times the darkness feels more like home to me. sometimes i feel like the emotions of pain, hatred, anger and lonlelyness are more comforting than the emotions of love, joy and harmony.

This emotion is understandable. Things that are commonly held as 'evil' and 'destructive' tend to be fairly easy to access and employ. Likewise habits are things typically picked up due to some need or desire, and are therefore very easy to cling to, or even come back to. Love takes effort, Joy is easily replaced by sadness, etc etc.

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my generation is an angry generation. we angry at the world we live in, because we live in a world governed by fear. **** it!

I still say that this generation has it no differently than any other. Fear is a part of life. It's one of the most important emotions, albeit not one of the more popular. Anger, is something altogether different, and is one oft misused.

People will decry that they are 'Angry at the world!' when in all truthfulness they are just displeased with how the world's political system is working. This doesn't equate to anger, but rather to displeasure. Likewise, fear and anger can often go hand in hand. You're angry at militants for killing civilians because the thought of something so base and uncontrolled fills you with fear.

The key here is to not let fear rule your life. By coming to that conclusion, you'll find that many of your other desires, such as the drugs you abused to escape (generally from fear or anger) will go away.

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Questioner wrote:

hephzibah wrote:
Quote:
But whatever. Ok. You're right. Kids today don't stand a chance. So let's just let them give up and piss and moan about how they never had a chance, and about how they're going to screw ourselves up with drugs, and consider suicide. Nothing's their fault. It's just harder now than it was. They're not to blame for any of their choices, it's just the cards they were dealt.

please don't put words in my mouth questioner.

Didn't think I was.

By giving them the out of 'it's just so much harder for you now then it was for me." you're opening the door for the above reasoning. It's not their fault, it's just so much harder now.

I never said they don't have a chance. I never said we should let them give up and piss and moan about how they never had a chance. I never said nothing is their fault. I didn't say they shouldn't be responsible for the choices they make, but let me ask you this:

How can they make good decisions when no one is teaching them how?

Mom and dad are at work. Older brother/sister is taking care of the younger siblings while their single mom is at the bar picking up men on the weekend. They're getting beaten and verbally abused just because they didn't get the whole house clean after school before mom or dad got home from work... and so on... I am in no way implying that every household in the US or anywhere else is like this. However, I think it may be more prominent than you realize.

This is a bit of a touchy subject for me because I work with troubled kids. I see a lot of stuff. You're comment to me sounded cold and inconsiderate. Of course I realize that because of the work I do my perspective tends to lean more towards the side of the kids. Not that I will excuse their behavior but I wish to help teach them that there is a better way to live than what their experience has been this far. I have a hard time when people make comments that could sound condescending or critical about a situation they may not fully understand. I apologize for having been harsh on this.

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hephzibah wrote:

How can they make good decisions when no one is teaching them how?

A good question. There is definitely a deficit in the handfeeding that previous generations enjoyed as far as their education goes. However, there also is the matter of having self respect. Just because mom and dad aren't around to teach you, doesn't mean you can't learn. These younger generations are turning to TV when they should be turning to books, and turning to friends when they should be listening to their elders.

But your point is made, and well received. There is a definite lack of parentage going on these days.

Quote:

Mom and dad are at work. Older brother/sister is taking care of the younger siblings while their single mom is at the bar picking up men on the weekend. They're getting beaten and verbally abused just because they didn't get the whole house clean after school before mom or dad got home from work... and so on... I am in no way implying that every household in the US or anywhere else is like this. However, I think it may be more prominent than you realize.

I think you'll find that much of the above happened in earlier generations. It's just that it wasn't publicized on sensationalist TV, so it was largely ignored. There has always been parents beating children, there has always been mother and father working all day, brother and sister working to help support the family.

Again, your point is made and valid, but again I'd like to direct the main cause to being a lack of self respect brought about by poor role models.

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This is a bit of a touchy subject for me because I work with troubled kids. I see a lot of stuff. You're comment to me sounded cold and inconsiderate.

Indeed it did, for I misread what was written, for which I have apologized.

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Of course I realize that because of the work I do my perspective tends to lean more towards the side of the kids. Not that I will excuse their behavior but I wish to help teach them that there is a better way to live than what their experience has been this far. I have a hard time when people make comments that could sound condescending or critical about a situation they may not fully understand.

I would like to add that we as a society are becoming more and more lazy and lax with regard to what we take responsibility for. If we get fired it's because the management was horrible, or because someone had it out for us, or because . . . whatever. We are creating victims, not future adults.

Your work is very commendable, and my only regret is that such a position as yours is so abundantly necessary.

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You are right questioner, I'm sure it's been going on for a lot longer than people have been willing to admit or even talk about.

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I'd like to direct the main cause to being a lack of self respect brought about by poor role models.

I couldn't have worded this better my self. Thank you.

I saw that you apologized which helped me to realize that I had needed to apologize too. It is so easy to get all wound up about something one feels strongly about and become irrational with our arguments.

Quote:

would like to add that we as a society are becoming more and more lazy and lax with regard to what we take responsibility for. If we get fired it's because the management was horrible, or because someone had it out for us, or because . . . whatever. We are creating victims, not future adults.

I agree wholeheartedly! It's a victim mentality. "It's not my fault, someone else did it to me." It has been my experience that the way we as people react and respond to things is most often effected by the filter of experience we have had in our life. Which can often creates the victim mentality. This is such a strong thing that people sometimes don't even realize where exactally their decisions are coming from. When someone is functioning in the victim mentality they are also filtering what people say to them through the bad experience they had.

For example I had a pastor one time tell me that God didn't need me and that if I refused to do what He wanted me to do He would find someone who would. I understand now what he meant by that, but at the time that is not at all what I heard because of the experiences I was filtering things through. What I heard was, "God doesn't need you. He already knows you are going to fail, so He has someone waiting in the wings to replace you when you do." Ouch. That is one of the reasons I am so touchy about this. I understand that sometimes what I say to people, no matter how clearly I think I stated it, may not be exactally what they are hearing. Do you understand what I mean?

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light vs dark... love vs fear?

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