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light vs dark... love vs fear?

 
 
Reply Mon 9 Jan, 2006 09:28 am
hello,
my names vas, im a 20 yr old boy residing in australia. from a young age i felt different and very alone. (keep reading... this aint no simpathy story i just want to share some of thoughts.)

as a young teen i explored my dark side as far as i was able to... (drug abuse, violence, manifesting negativity in my life and others, communicating with negative entities, etc.) i had reached a point of no return where i was prepared to end my own life.

it was then i stopped taking drugs, started clearing myself of negativity through meditation and past life regression, connecting and healing through positive entities and basically started living life motivated by love rather than fear. pain was overtaken by joy.

however... my dark side is very real. sometimes... most times the darkness feels more like home to me. sometimes i feel like the emotions of pain, hatred, anger and lonlelyness are more comforting than the emotions of love, joy and harmony.

is this because i have grown up in a world that is governed by hate? am i just a product of my environment.

last night i was one step away from throwing the towel in on all the love bullshit. i was about to go back to the old vas that dealt with karma himself. an angry boy ready to **** the **** world he was born into. i was about to make the call to get some bud and coke and dwell in the depths of the worlds darkness... and i probably would of enjoyed that to a certain degree.... but i hit pause, took a deep breath and came to my conclusion.

my generation is an angry generation. we angry at the world we live in, because we live in a world governed by fear. **** it! i am not going to add to the fear of the world with my own evil ****. i refuse to be another sheep in the flock and buy into the fear that fuels wars, mass genecide, material obbsession, world famine, depression, self hate, racial oppression, etc. im gonna be a little becon of light in this bleek world. im going to enjoy every moment. and even if everything i am talking is ****. whats the harm in being a love trippa walking life picking flowers? anyway... these are my thoughts. i came on this forum because i am surrounded by people that are certain love will prevail over fear, but i want to hear some opinions from the other side also. im assuming there are people on this forum whos eyes have adjusted to the dark. i would also like some feedback from the lightworkers in this forum.

respect

vasouvius
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 1,265 • Replies: 29
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Questioner
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 Jan, 2006 09:38 am
Your generation is in no way different than any other generation. Fear is an ever-present thing. Ever hear of the Cold War? Compared to that, what's going on today is a cake-walk.

The keyword here is your use of the words 'governed by fear'. The difference between you and everyone else is the word 'governed'.
0 Replies
 
Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 Jan, 2006 09:39 am
Have you ever heard of a mountain in Italy called Vesuvius?
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vasouvius
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 Jan, 2006 09:44 am
no i havnt. very interesting... im in italy too!! haha
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neologist
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 Jan, 2006 10:22 am
Welcome to the forum, vas. I'm sure you will find fun, fame and fortune here.

Well, fun, at least.
0 Replies
 
Cliff Hanger
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 Jan, 2006 10:46 am
Questioner, did you major in condescension in college?

I don't agree that Vesuvius's generation is no different than any other generation. Younger folks today have a hell of a lot more on their plate then previous generations.
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Questioner
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 Jan, 2006 10:49 am
Cliff Hanger wrote:
Questioner, did you major in condescension in college?

I don't agree that Vesuvius's generation is no different than any other generation. Younger folks today have a hell of a lot more on their plate then previous generations.


No, actually it was Art.

However, my realm of study has nothing to do with this. Younger folks today don't have:

1) Drafts
2) Great Depression
3) The same degree of responsibilities (see #2)

Younger folks have the same problems and fears that people in earlier generations had. They're just more ill-equipped to handle them due to horrible parentage and an overall lack of caring.
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Questioner
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 Jan, 2006 10:52 am
Cliff Hanger wrote:
Questioner, did you major in condescension in college?

I don't agree that Vesuvius's generation is no different than any other generation. Younger folks today have a hell of a lot more on their plate then previous generations.


Also, let me just add that this isn't an issue of condescension.

This isn't a cry for help here, this is an 'I dare you to tell me something that will give me an excuse to destroy myself and possibly take a few others with me." which is both childish and immature. It's also something I would expect from a 15 year old, not a 20 year old.

That this individual has problems is not in doubt. That this individual should be humored by providing an excuse to indulge those problems is repugnant.
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Cliff Hanger
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 Jan, 2006 11:28 am
Perhaps it's an issue of arrogance, then.

This is not immature 15 yr.old behaviour. I don't think he's looking for any excuses, rather, some dialogue. There's depth, thought and some life experience behind his inquiry.

Who doesn't have problems? Are you exempt? Repugnant? What has he done to you?
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Questioner
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 Jan, 2006 11:45 am
Cliff Hanger wrote:
Perhaps it's an issue of arrogance, then.

This is not immature 15 yr.old behaviour. I don't think he's looking for any excuses, rather, some dialogue. There's depth, thought and some life experience behind his inquiry.

Who doesn't have problems? Are you exempt? Repugnant? What has he done to you?


I haven't thrown an overdramatic storyline onto the forum and then made the statement "Ok, before I go abuse myself and others further, let me hear what you "lightworkers" have to say.

And sure, everyone has problems. I had the same sort of problems that he's mentioned myself. The main difference between he and I is that I didn't go looking for someone to validate my abuses. I didn't find ways to get people to encourage me. Once I noticed I was doing more harm than good to myself, I cowboyed up and got fixed.

Personal experience shows me that the above is little more than a bid for attention.

By the by, where do you stand? Answer this poster's questions since you seem more apt to humor him/her.
0 Replies
 
Cliff Hanger
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 Jan, 2006 11:54 am
Questioner, you're bitter about something.
0 Replies
 
Questioner
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 Jan, 2006 12:01 pm
<sigh>

I could be labeled bitter, cynical, a million different things, some not very nice.

It's been my experience that the only people that come and post a story like that for the 'reason' supplied are just looking for someone to validate what they're doing.

I don't think this guy is any exception, and I tend to get rather dismissive about such things. So call it bitterness, call it cynicism, whatever.
0 Replies
 
Treya
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 Jan, 2006 12:04 pm
Questioner wrote:
Your generation is in no way different than any other generation. Fear is an ever-present thing. Ever hear of the Cold War? Compared to that, what's going on today is a cake-walk.

The keyword here is your use of the words 'governed by fear'. The difference between you and everyone else is the word 'governed'.


Say what??? You've got to be kidding... a cake walk... give me a break... Just in the last... well I won't say how many years... since I was in school the scene has changed dramatically! I never had to worry about getting shot when I went to school. I never had to worry about someone trying to sell me drugs on my way there. I never had to worry about what metal products might be in my backpack that could set off the metal detector at the door.

These days the battle is not reserved for those in the military only. It's a day to day fight to stay alive. To not wear the wrong colors, in the wrong place, at the wrong time, lest you get labeled with a particular gang and get shot. To not be a woman walking down the street alone at night, because the chances of getting beaten, raped, and killed have escelated so much in the last several years. The list goes on and on. Yeah, maybe during the cold war people lived like that, but then what about afterwards? When the war was over did they continue living as if it wasn't? Yet in our daily lives we are forced to live as though a war is going on, because one is.
0 Replies
 
Im the other one
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 Jan, 2006 12:59 pm
Welcome to the forum vasouvius.
0 Replies
 
Questioner
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 Jan, 2006 01:01 pm
hephzibah wrote:
Questioner wrote:
Your generation is in no way different than any other generation. Fear is an ever-present thing. Ever hear of the Cold War? Compared to that, what's going on today is a cake-walk.

The keyword here is your use of the words 'governed by fear'. The difference between you and everyone else is the word 'governed'.


Say what??? You've got to be kidding... a cake walk... give me a break... Just in the last... well I won't say how many years... since I was in school the scene has changed dramatically! I never had to worry about getting shot when I went to school. I never had to worry about someone trying to sell me drugs on my way there. I never had to worry about what metal products might be in my backpack that could set off the metal detector at the door.


Most kids today don't have to worry about where their next meal is coming from. You think there weren't gangs in earlier generations? The only difference between then and now is now they are at least TRYING to keep shivs and knives and guns out of the school.

And for the record, most kids today don't have to worry about getting shot at school. There are exceptions, sure. Just like there were before.

Also, there was the small matter of the Draft, where kids got plucked up to go freeze their asses off at Bastogne while being bombarded. Or they got to go to the Jungles and die for absolutely no reason.

But yeah, kids have it harder now.

Quote:
These days the battle is not reserved for those in the military only. It's a day to day fight to stay alive.


For some, i'd agree. However, you're fooling yourself if you think it was easier in the past. Talk about a fight to stay alive. If it doesn't rain for a month straight you're whole community dies.

Quote:
To not wear the wrong colors, in the wrong place, at the wrong time, lest you get labeled with a particular gang and get shot. To not be a woman walking down the street alone at night, because the chances of getting beaten, raped, and killed have escelated so much in the last several years. The list goes on and on. Yeah, maybe during the cold war people lived like that, but then what about afterwards? When the war was over did they continue living as if it wasn't? Yet in our daily lives we are forced to live as though a war is going on, because one is.


And always has been. It's just the enemy that changes.

But whatever. Ok. You're right. Kids today don't stand a chance. So let's just let them give up and piss and moan about how they never had a chance, and about how they're going to screw ourselves up with drugs, and consider suicide. Nothing's their fault. It's just harder now than it was. They're not to blame for any of their choices, it's just the cards they were dealt.
0 Replies
 
flushd
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 Jan, 2006 04:20 pm
Laughing

Welcome to the forum.

Angry generation? Sure. Where there are people, there is anger. I agree with Questioner. No generation has it harder than another: we have it different. Different struggles, different gifts. You observed anger.

It's doesn't matter what is going on, who is saying what, who is dying. That doesn't dictate your life.
Your life is your life. Do with it what you will.

Twisted Evil
0 Replies
 
Treya
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 Jan, 2006 06:24 pm
Quote:
But whatever. Ok. You're right. Kids today don't stand a chance. So let's just let them give up and piss and moan about how they never had a chance, and about how they're going to screw ourselves up with drugs, and consider suicide. Nothing's their fault. It's just harder now than it was. They're not to blame for any of their choices, it's just the cards they were dealt.


please don't put words in my mouth questioner.
0 Replies
 
Doktor S
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 Jan, 2006 06:45 pm
Questioner,
Just to add my two pennies, I would say what has changed isn't how hard the kids have it. What has changed is society has been significantly liberalized since past generations, causing skins in general to thin.
People today are just pussies.
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Cliff Hanger
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 Jan, 2006 07:41 pm
Berating and belittling Vesuvius's comments are missing the point of his inquiry for dialogue. He is asking for discussion, not a competition on which generation suffers more or equally, or who is a "pussy." You're attempts at steamrolling his comments, or offering condescending flip comments such as "Your life is your life. Do with it what you will" are ridiculous.
0 Replies
 
Questioner
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 Jan, 2006 07:45 pm
Cliff Hanger wrote:
Berating and belittling Vesuvius's comments are missing the point of his inquiry for dialogue. He is asking for discussion, not a competition on which generation suffers more or equally, or who is a "pussy." You're attempts at steamrolling his comments, or offering condescending flip comments such as "Your life is your life. Do with it what you will" are ridiculous.


Then how about you ignore my comments and provide something you'd consider 'constructive' for him. If you don't wish for his 'request' to be steamrolled over, kindly keep your yap shut about what i'm saying and move on. This is only turning into a competition because you're making it one.

And what he is asking for is a reason to continue abusing himself.
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