My Wings (a song in loving memory)

I am not much of a critic and I am absolutely NOT a poet but I think your poem is very nice.

When I read it I immediately thought of the song "Everything" by Bread which, to me, is the ultimate tear-jerker. Part of that reaction comes from context - it was the song that my friend played at her young son's funeral.

Beyond that though, "Everything" is really all about the "you" person where your song seems to be more about "I". It is the "I-ness" of your poem that keeps me from having a really strong gut reaction to it.

Does that make any sense?

I really love this part:



I'd like to hear more about "that game". Maybe how the game helped to create such a bond between the two of you - the "not much"ness of the game is particularlly compelling to me.

Poetry is not a topic I am very good at so take my comments with a grain of salt. I think it is a beautiful and heart-felt poem. Thank you for sharing it.

thanx for the comment dude. the game was bingo, and it was her favorate game. when she was sick wed all sit around in a room and play it. we had the turning thing that picked #'s and everything. i dont remember much about her, except for that and when she went into a coma laying next to her in bed all day.

i was 5 when she died, and im 16 now and this was my first attempt at dealing w/her death, so please excuse the "me" part, but i needed to do that. whenever id think about her, i would feel tears coming on, and writting this forced me to think of her, so it was really hard for me to write cuz i cried the whole time i was writting.

she was the first and last person i EVER let close to me. i have 1 friend that is starting to get pretty close, but i normally push every one away, so maybe this is something i had to do to let ppl in.

Wow.

My son is turning 5 in about a week so your story really hits home. People say kids don't remember that far back but we both know that the do.

I understand the "me" a lot better now and that makes a lot of sense.

I was thinking about your poem today. I was grocery shopping and the song "Everything" came on - how weird is that?

It must have been hard to grow up without her.

rg7, that's such a touching song and your story touched me too. Just remember that love is worth the risk. Let your friend get closer and see what happens. Good luck!

to boomerang: ya, that is wierd. im glad u dont have to look at my song and think its selfish now. ya it was kinda tuff, mostly wen other kids would go to their grandparents (my grandpa died 2 yrs later and my grandparents on my dad's side pretty much disowned us) or when my older cousins would tell stories about them. i have to admit it would always make me a little jealous.....

to swimpy: ive been doing my best evr since i started playing guitar to b more emotional, and its been working a little. ive been more bold in starting conversation and such, but after being closed up for so long its kinda hard, but know that i am trying.

thank u both for ur comments, i appreciate it and let me know if theres ne thing u guys wrote u'd like me to read.

EDIT: boomerang: congrats on ur sons b-day, i wish him a fun and happy 1.

Hey, hey, hey.

I didn't say "selfish" at all, not by any stretch of the imagination.

I'm reading what you say with baited breath as my little foundling will probably experience emotions quite similar to yours and I want to be able to soar, like in your poem.

Although my situation is very different from yours, almost the opposite of yours, I too have been frightened of letting a specific someone in.

But I did it and I am so happy that I did.

thanx. ill keep it in mind.