When having sex with a giraffe the stepladder always tips.
gustavratzenhofer wrote:When having sex with a giraffe the stepladder always tips.
You mean it gives you money afterwards?
At three a.m., whilst setting a fussy baby in the crib after she has finally fallen asleep, one shall always accidentally activate a noisy, battery-operated toy.
The boss shall enter your cubicle/office during the three minutes of the day you decided to do something non-work related.
you will always become cataclysmically horny on the same evening your wife puts fresh sheets on the bed.....
The urgent need of a nice, clean outfit only occurs at the end of a laundry cycle.
When you learn a fact that you have never observed before, you will find evidences of it everywhere.
blueveinedthrobber wrote:you will always become cataclysmically horny on the same evening your wife puts fresh sheets on the bed.....
You should stop watching porn while she does the laundry.
DrewDad wrote:blueveinedthrobber wrote:you will always become cataclysmically horny on the same evening your wife puts fresh sheets on the bed.....
You should stop watching porn while she does the laundry.
surely you're not suggesting that I help or something.....
DrewDad wrote:The boss shall enter your cubicle/office during the three minutes of the day you decided to do something non-work related.
...not that I doubt you for a moment...
When the officer asks to see your registration, it is unwise to reach
suddenly toward the compartment under the passenger seat.
blueveinedthrobber wrote:DrewDad wrote:blueveinedthrobber wrote:you will always become cataclysmically horny on the same evening your wife puts fresh sheets on the bed.....
You should stop watching porn while she does the laundry.
surely you're not suggesting that I help or something.....
Of course not. You'd just get in the way and put underwear in the wrong drawer or something. Try taking a nap, instead.
DrewDad wrote:The boss shall enter your cubicle/office during the three minutes of the day you decided to do something non-work related.
Brilliant! I read this and guess who comes over to ask me a question? Yes, my boss. I had to pretend I was researching an online class for work! Luckily I am a sneaky b and had the online website up also!
and I just read NIMHs "common sense" ... that's me! I will have to refrain from using common sense now that people know I don't know what I'm talking about at all.
common cents?
you mean like quarters and nickels and stuff?
It's all lose change in there at the moment shewolf.
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I can stand side-by-side with my mother and cook something exactly the same as she does and mine tastes like crap.
Getting out of bed after a night of hot sweaty dirty sex and preparing to get ready for work - you discover the hot water is off.
When I have stitches, invariably someone on the train/at work/as I'm walking by, will bump into me just where the stitches are.
When I was younger I couldn't pee or crap in anyones toilet except my own. Now, I may take a dump in your yard if I can't find a bathroom quickly enough.
Common sense tells me that I've never heard of a dog running into my school but I did have a (strange) cat jump in through my bedroom window - no wonder I hate cats - nasty bedroom-window-jumping-through freaks!
When the bedroom lightbulb comes to the end of its life and I change it for the last working lightbulb I have in the pack, the bathroom lightbulb goes out.
When I tell a client that I have to have information by the end of the week, they finally email it to me at 6pm on a Friday.
I look my absolute worst when I have a full nights sleep and when my co-workers joke about me tying-one-on the night before, I smile painfully and invent a story of my pub-drinking antics until all hours.
Everyone likes the smell of their own farts.
Heeven wrote:When I was younger I couldn't pee or crap in anyones toilet except my own. Now, I may take a dump in your yard if I can't find a bathroom quickly enough
That explains all those dead spots on my lawn.
I've been leaving you little presents - a yuletide log here and there - but your current lovers have been ... ooh ne'mind, even I can't finish this sentence!
You're becoming soft in your old age, Heeven.
Apparently ... when I gross myself out before I even finish! It's sad. I am going to lie down now.
