SOME THINGS I HAVE COME TO KNOW.......

1. Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.

2. At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.

3. One of the most awkward things that can happen to a man in a pub is when his pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.

4. Reading when you're drunk is horrible.

5. Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.

6. You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a bonfire in your back garden.

7. You never know where to look when eating a banana.

8. Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.

9. Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into their school.

10.The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.

11. The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.

12. Some days you see lots of people on crutches.

13. Every male has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.

14. Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.

15. Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.

16. You never ever run out of salt.

17. Old ladies can eat more than you think.

18. There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your head stuck in something.

19. No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.

20. Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.

21. The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.

22. People who don't drive slam car doors too hard .

23. You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.

24. Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.

25. Bricks are horrible to carry.


What are your truisms?