eragon poem for school

here is a poem i made 4 school, is it good enough? *note* im new at this poetry thing

O!
the war is over the battle won
murtagh was taken when the day was done
there must be a new leader for the vardone
this ofcourse is a burdun!

2nd line IMO should b: Murtagh was taken, the day was done. capitalize V in Vardone. space between of and course, and check spelling of burdun, i dont think thats how its spelled but my mind is blank right now

nasuada was appointed this task
Eragon accepted with out a mask
telling the varden was a chore
all were hapy except for 4!

without might b 1 word, not sure. capital V in Varden. take out the "for" and write out the number.

roran the only cousin of Eragon
lost his one and only farm
heard tales of a new rider
but dissmised it and drank some cider

comma after Roran and Eragon. line 2 i think would b better "His one and only farm gone" then last line u should replace "and" with "as he"

Tyhe ra'zac came after him
and caused carvahall suffering
whats the strangest thing?
its because hes wanted by the king

typo on first word of stanza: take out the y. i think capital R in Ra'zac, but once again, not sure. i think capital C in "Carvahall".

drive them out of town they did
they were beter then capti kidd
then the Ra'zac commensd attack
but they could fight worth jack

if ur aiming for a good poem, change last line 2 something else, if just for the grade, leave it

O!

As orik asked Eragon
to join the clan Ingeitun
it made him feel really numb
because he had to cut his wrist

capital O in Orik. this doesnt really flow well, but leave it alone if u just wanna pull an A.

Off to the elf city
with an elf who eragon thought was pretty
in a dark tunnel they all go
with nothing but ther swords and bow
now i end this tale to talk about another male

Roran change carvahall into a barracks
the healer constantly had to use serax
alll the women and childern in the Spine
with little food and wine
all they had were the cover of the pines

through the door the Ra'zac went
they didnt even half to pay a cent
then with a evil shove
they took Rorans only love

2nd to last line: an not a.

The butcher named sloan
hesa traiter to the bone
off to Surda they all go
will they make it alive?
i dont know

space between "He's" and "a". last line: "i do not know" sounds better

they travel to the city Ellesmera
wich is very far-a
they then see the land of of elves...
i bet you say to yourselves
what happens next?
you pick up the book and read the text

in the second line, im not sure if this is a typo, but "far-a" wat's going on with that "-a" thing? it really doesnt make sense, and i did read the book, its 1 of my fav books. 3rd line: i think it should b "then they" but that's just me. take out the "i bet you say to yourselves" line and change the next line to "What happens next, you ask"

*whew* this is from the book Eldest you propably would only get it if you read the book
well tell me what you think, say your true opinion