Crazy's Poems (non-spontaneous)

Memory

Take me back to where we have been,
Gaze upon visions of who we'll be,
These eyes forget what they have seen,
And who's face this is from which they see.

Memories are everlasting,
Memories are ever leaving us,
The mind from us ever casting
Away thoughts, we become so callous.

The better times and better days,
They may never ever come again,
Though we may try in many ways
We'll never get to where we have been.




Sonnet For My Psyche

I'm the king in this little world of mine.
I sit on a throne of gold, way up high,
There's no better place 'cept heaven divine
For inside of here you can steal and lie.
The gate won't open and no one much cares,
And nobody leaves over the huge wall,
And nobody knows how the outside fares,
Must be because I built it so, so tall.
Sometimes the streets are filled with bustling,
People crowded, all with something to say;
Sometimes the only sound's the rustling
Of the paths they will find again someday,
And every now and then I lose control
Of this amazing peacefulness I stole.

American Nightmare

The American dream
Once was so easy to see
To feel
To live
So pure and ignorant
So perfectly damaged
But at least we were dreaming

The dream has become a nightmare
Inflation makes poor, poorer
Makes the rich frown
International hatred, and you say
'They hate us for our freedom
'They hate the American dream'
But no, they hate what we've become
What you've done
What I watched but couldn't stop
What will happen when we wake up
From this American Nightmare?

my crits of memory:

im pretty new at critting poems, but i think i like how u ended the one line with "seen" and the next with "see". but thats all i can find with ne of the 3. i really like everything else about them.

Bm

im new to this site. wat the hell does bm mean?

RG7,
Bookmark
I'll let Ed explain it to you, I don't do it myself.

Anyway, here's something I composed in the spontaneous poems thread a long time ago. I revised and rewrote it and here it is. I've been thinking about making a bit longer; it's a little short and my meaning isn't very clear, but here's the version I've got so far.

Time is an Ember

I've landed on my feet,
I've hit the ground running,
On this dead, ancient street,
So simple --so stunning.

Oh I remember when
I ignored it's beauty,
And now I'm here again,
Sworn to do my duty.

Eliminate the past,
Why even remember?
Nothing can ever last;
Time is like an ember.

If you don't post something on a thread you want to keep up with, you eventually lose track of the thread. I am very interested in this author's work and want to be able to locate it easily.

^ok. i get it thanx.

A Desperate Wish

Just talk to me, don't turn away,
Tell me the things you didn't say,
I want to see behind those eyes,
To see the truth and see the lies.

If only we could be as one,
All of our hardships over and done,
And be united in desires,
As the heat from two dif'rent fires.

We'd walk meadows under clear sky,
And in the night, with you I'd lie,
In love, among the daffodils
'Till my heart fills -'till my breath stills.

^good job. i think that 1's my favorite so far.


-RG

Thanks

This poem stands out for me. I also think American Nightmare is excellent.
Really good work CrazyDiamond

This is something I wrote awhile back. It's somewhat experimental. As you can see it is written in sonnet form, except it's an iambic quadrameter instead of iambic pentameter (the lines only have four iambs instead of five).

I Dreamed...

I dreamed that we had turned away.
This dream was all that I could see.
I didn't know just what to say;
I lost touch with reality.
I dreamed that we had lost ourselves
And lost what we were looking for,
Love forgotten on dusty shelves,
But it just seemed we needed more.
I dreamed that in this social land,
We didn't notice the thin ice;
We just did what they wanted and
What we needed would not suffice.
I dreamed this dream and I would deem
That I'm thankful 'twas but a dream.

Once again in iambic quadrameter:

My Love Metaphor

I walked in a hot, dry desert,
Walked and walked but could find no shade,
'Find some love' did my mind avert,
Truly what I needed was aid.
When suddenly I saw a tree,
'Must be a mirage' said my mind,
But, always, I trust what I see,
And more trees would be hard to find.
I aproached, it did not vanish,
My joy was undescribable,
A better place I could not wish,
But fear was undeniable.

A couple of my early poems, written in a somewhat similar way. I was obviously trying to show a very viewable imagery. I'm not sure if I accomplished this goal. Oh well.

Secret Hollow

The light shines through the eaves,
Dropping like rain on to the forest floor
And bursting through the leaves
Like silver arrows, one thousand or more

As it reflects the stream,
The light shines back, so bright and beautiful,
Seeming just like a dream,
This secret hideaway, glad and joyful

Place kisses were stolen,
Place love flourished, on the cool, soft, green grass,
But it went darker when
She left me with all of my time to pass
Without her
_____________________________________________________________


The Night

When I look up at the dark night sky,
I see the stars, the moon, and wishes,
It's hard to concentrate on just why,
As the wolf howls and tall grass swishes.

The night sky is lovely, dark, and deep,
Next to it the earth seems gray and bleak,
And I find it hard to go to sleep
For the thoughts of that stellar boutique.

The night, I know, will always comply,
The people are gone, the sky is clear,
But it's hard to concentrate on why
The night, for me, holds so much revere.




And, by the way, thanks for the compliments Endy. Much appriciated.

^hey, IMO u definitely accomplished imagery in those 2, i could see everything pretty much perfectly. i think, of the 4 u just posted, i like "I Dreamed" best...good job on all of them though.

btw. srry it took so long, i havent been on lately.

No prob. Thanx abunch.

So, I've been bugging myself about writing a song for a long time. I finally gave in tonight and gave it a shot. This is what I came up with:

Paper Cranes

Would it help if I said
I'm ashamed to be leaving?
No, I guess not,
Are you listening?
Well, maybe I deserve that,
But you know I'm sorry,
Right?
You know I love you,
Don't you?

You know I woulda done it diff'rently,
You know I tried to do my part,
You know the deep, dark, true, brave me,
You know we'll be together, forever apart

I'd fix it if I could
I'd make it better
I'd try again if only you would
I just wish I wasn't writing this letter
But can you read it through the tear-stains?
And can't you see where I'm coming from here?
I made it pretty like paper cranes
But it crashed and burned like terror planes.

You know I woulda done it diff'rently,
You know I tried to do my part,
You know the deep, dark, true, brave me,
You know we'll be together, forever apart

Did you know I loved you?
Did you know that I still do?
I made it pretty like paper cranes,
But now my heart's blood stains,
Your dress.

You know I'd never have it diff'rently,
You know I you're always in my heart,
You know the caring, loving, me,
You know we'll be together, forever apart.

Would it help if I said
I'm ashamed to be leaving?

_________________________________

So, what'd ya think?

crazydiamond scores again!!!

nice song dude. not bad for a first. i really like the topic u chose. only thing i can say is, if u evr plan to put music to it, u should cut out sum of the filler words...nice song dude