Auntie Lowan's Christmas Recovery and Catharsis Thread!!!!!!

But of course! After all, everything is ALWAYS everyone else's fault!

The itching powder is a great idea. Unfortunately the hot sauce wouldn't work. She loves extra-hot stuff...looks for the hottest she can find...so she would interpret it as a gift. The woman is from Hell, I tell you.

But really, I think she'll get there soon enough on her own. I wasn't kidding about the anorexia...she is a walking skeleton. Thinks she's the only one who looks healthy. We all know her well enough to know she's doing this so she'll be the center of attention. She's past neurotic that way. One year she says she's bipolar, the next year she says she's diabetic. The story's always changing, but she's never well. She's a pathological liar, too, among other problems. Sad case, really. But we feel for her husband more than for her. After 25 years of this, the Bitch has used up our good will.

It would be a nightmare if I had to live there. Her husband has learned to semi-listen while blanking out the whole time. He blithely goes through his own routine and just tries to stay out of her way, best as we can tell.

Did I say I was glad to be home? I AM SO GLAD TO BE HOME!!!!

Re: Eva


Fires? What fires? I'd better check the news.

Dave's Insanity Sauce, and those others based on habenero peppers, are in a class by themselves.

You should get her some next year; lovely subtle and not-so-subtle messages all through that.

Evil peeps!

EASTER is the time to plot revenge!

Only on bunnies.

Wel, well, well.....guess which little pile of pasta won't be getting any easter eggs THIS year?

Betcha?

When you have 'em by the easter eggs, their hearts and minds soon follow....

Eva--

Anorexia is a very dangerous game. Her days may be numbered.

If she dies before the next holiday, don't feel guilty.

Hold your dominion.

Don't worry, Noddy. I won't feel guilty. I've always treated her more nicely than she deserves.

Aaarrrgh, but then I would have to go back down there sooner than usual! We usually go on Fourth of July and Christmas. Fourth of July is a good time for fireworks of all descriptions, though. Hmmm...mulling over the possibilities....

Well, my son-in-law-to-be survived Christmas Eve with us goyim. Brave
lad. The Lovely Bride hung up a stocking for him and put in some
Hanukkah gelt (foil-covered chocolate coins). He got a kick out of it
(I was holding my breath).

We spent most of Christmas Eve at my cousin's place. It's good for my
humility. I always feel like the runt of the litter when I'm with my cousins.
They're all quite successful. And I'm happy for them. But...

Anyway, I kept the booze under control, though the temptation to
anesthesize was very strong.

Christmas really is tough, eh?



Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm...Hannukah Gelt.



Send them some anonymous rotten eggs for easter, Eva.....

Good idea. Where does one buy rotten eggs, I wonder?

Then there's the matter of them recognizing the postmark from Tulsa. How 'bout I send 'em to you first, and you can forward them to Wichita Falls? They'd never suspect me if a package came from Oz.

Oh sure, get Deb to do an extraordinary rendition.

I've just had an extraordinary rendition.


I blame the turkey curry, myself....

Well done! Congratulations, George!

... but as you know, you can subvert them in other ways, later!

You buy them well ahead of time, and keep them in a warm place.

The rotten takes care of itself.




Drive out of Tulsa!!! A longish way.


Then post them.



They would be sniffed out as a biological weapon if you tried to send them overseas....

How's it goin'
Auntie Lowan?


(Just popping by to say hello. )