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Fri 23 Dec, 2005 06:58 am
Also, not being able to see body language or facial expressions can be a problem. I know there have been times I've taken things wrong because I perceived a tone not there. I am sure others have done the same with me.
It's hard just talking to a page on a screen!
On the other hand, I find internet forum discussions with perfect strangers to be sometimes liberating. It allows me a degree of honesty that I probably would not express if face to face.
I often think it's akin to interactive journalling.
The problem is that when we read a response, in our minds we hear a voice. That voice may be our own, or someone we know. That voice may have emotions, inflections and nuances never intended by the original author. It's helpful to remember that when someone responds off-kilter to your post, that this "voice" may be the source of their misunderstanding.
I have found it helpful, when a post strikes me wrong, to read it aloud using a variety of characters. Of course, this works for me because I work from a home office -- for you, your colleagues may object.
Another method is the 10 minute rule: When a post angers you, step away from your keyboard for 10 minutes. It is amazing the perspective gained in that time. You also gain the luxury of seeing other, ill-considered responses.
When a post is really offensive to me, I often copy it to a word processing programme and take exquisite pleasure in demonstrating, in writing, the immense stupidity of the author. Then I print out my brilliant response along with the offending post, have a good read & a chuckle, and tear it all up into little pieces. Very cathartic.
32..
I think you have a good point!
Excellent point & demonstration, Phoenix.
I once thought that emoticons were silly, but they truly do help with the nuances.
Emoticons annoy some people, though.
I think it's even better to be as clear with your actual words as possible. Like, say "I think that's a wonderful idea" if you mean it, and if you don't, say "that is a totally goofy idea!"
There will always be room for misinterpretation, though -- precise wording, emoticons, and all -- so I think everything needs to be taken with a grain of salt. I like Tico's idea a lot (any progress on getting your name changed?), though I think it's been a while since I've felt that strongly about anything. If I DO find myself feeling strongly about it, I usually step away for a while and am much more sanguine when I get back.
Soz- I usually use no more than one or two emoticons in a post. Recently, there was a member who was peppering posts with emoticons. Now THAT was annoying, which I think was the point of the emoticons that were posted!
I think that sometimes sarcasm can be very effective. In that case, you need to use an emoticon, so people will understand your meaning.
Tico,
I like the idea of taking the post and reading it in different tones and making sure you wait. I really don't like to say things to tick people off or offend them.
Smileys? I love Smileys! I do use them quite often especially for a couple of people I post to so I can keep my anger under control.
This is a good thread. I am getting lots of ideas.
the abuse of emoticons degrades communication, they should be banned on public forums. as Soz says make your statements clear, concise and coherent and there is no need for emoticons for anyone over the mental age of
12.
All this is true to an extent but much can be conveyed by way the printed word is used.The mode of construction of the phrases and sentences and the words themselves can convey to those who can read it in certain ways a partial view of the mind composing the prose.Poetry is intended to compress such things which is why it is more inclusive.It's a sort of teleshare.Minds acting on each other at a distance,and the more one reads of a person's contributions the more into focus that person's mind comes.It's just the same in a pub.
It is one of the casual ways we sort each other out.
The Trivia threads pose a much more severe literary discipline to this end than do these other forums if one wishes to play that way which not everyone does,as is their right.
A whole body of work comes into things.Such as Dylan's whole catalogue or Warhols self portraits or The Complete Works or ,dare I say,The Bible.
Some bemoan that there is nothing much known about Shakespeare but there are The Complete Works which almost convey his mindset pure and vivid.I can read Proust and almost touch him as if he was sat on the next bar stool weaving his beautiful words.
This is why advertising is art:often great art.
On McLuhan I think he missed the difference between the live coverage of events which would have still been taking place if television wasn't invented,such as The Grand National,where it acts as a pair of fantastic binoculars and all that stuff that's made inside the bowels of television business enterprises.
Notice how my choice of "bowels" tells you a little about me that no emotcian could really do.As does "stuff" and "business enterprises" and the offhand,dismissive arrangement I chose.One could write that half sentence another way with the same meaning and saying nothing about myself.
So now you know-if edit suites have spewed it forth it's vomit is a general position of mine if it has anything to do with getting your dough.Which is the usual case.
and there we have as concise and clear a statement as I have ever read (which means I have no idea what spendius just said).
Oh dys-I rather think you do have some idea.
I suspect spendius was being poetic like Dylan. One must, I suspect, work at the words to understand their full meaning.
A bit cranky today, dys? :wink:
Here is an example of the sort of thing I mean-
"By further habituation to an appreciative perception of the marks of expensiveness in goods,and by habitually identifying beauty with reputabiliity,it comes about that a beautiful article which is not expensive is accounted not beautiful.In this way it has happened,for instance,that some beautiful flowers pass conventionally for offensive weeds;others that can be cultivated with relative ease are accepted and admired by the lower middle class,who can afford no more expensive luxuries of this kind;but these varieties are rejected as vulgar by those people who are better able to pay for expensive flowers and who are educated to a higher schedule of pecuniary beauty in the florist's products;while still other flowers,of no greater intrinsic beauty than these,are cultivated at great cost and call out much admiration from flower-lovers whose tastes have been matured under the critical guidance of a polite environment."
The Theory of the Leisure Class by Thorstein Veblen.
Even this short excerpt from the masterpiece draws one closer to Veblen's Rolls Royce mind than any amount of prose in a flower catalogue does to the mind of those who write that.
Notice how he uses "educated" and "matured" and "polite"as withering insults calculated to challenge the received wisdom and draw the reader towards his position and thus to meet him.
And the ready cash he can save you is unbelievable.There's 250 pages covering everything a Rolls Royce mind needs to know and it's a real barrel of laughs as a bonus.
You get the chance to have many interesting and entertaining conversation with folk you will never see in real life, some of whom you wish you could punch in the face.
Ain't life grand!
Fancy having dear Albert as one's prime symbol and cultivating illegal wishes at the same time.
I chose a rather tame example g__day with the flowers.You should see ladies fashions.
spendius said bowels and vomit
Chai-
I'm afraid I don't understand Siamese.Perhaps you would be kind enough to translate.