Only six more hours to go...

Hi, Mr K......I will entertain you with some interesting facts, quips and other such total bollocks, if you wish.

Yay! I may not give you any feedback for a while though. I never know when the work is going to come.

I might write some little things too, just to see how sleep depravation affects my creative writing skills.

OK......How's this for starters.......

I have just been reading about a German drink driver who tried to telephone a breakdown service due to a burst tyre, ended up being arrested as he phoned the police by mistake.

"You'd better be quick because I'm pretty drunk and don't have a license, so it wouldn't be good if the cops drove past", he unwittingly told a police operator.

Officers immediately raced to the scene and arrested him for being seven times over the limit.

"He wanted us to come quickly so we did" said a police spokesman.

Just going to make some toast.....back soon....

Thanks, Lord E. A good start. But my eyes are still getting heavy...I don't know how I'm going to stay awake all night for this. Oh, good, I think they have some work coming for me to do now...

<munch munch....Mmmm...peanut butter on toast, with a double chocca mocha.....there's nothin' like froffy coffee>


....So, a very attractive young lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night, waiting for her date. She wanted to make sure everything was perfect, and decided to check her make up.
So.....as she bent down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she accidentally farted quite loudly just as the waiter was approaching.
Sitting up straight, embarrassed and red faced, knowing everyone in the place heard her, she turned to the waiter and shouted "Stop That!"
The waiter looked at her dryly and replied "Sure lady, which way is it headed?"

A man walks in to a doctors office with a frog on his head. The doctor leaps up and says:
"Good grief, how on earth did you get that great ugly thing!"
The frog looks down and replies:"I dunno Doc, it started out as a little wart on my bottom!"

Heehee...

Did you know that Albania is retiring its Soviet MiG aircraft, which have killed 35 Albanians, but not a single enemy?

...and that the French translation of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince has an extra 120 pages as it is a less concise language than English.

God knoes how many pages are in the Italian version.

..........Maybe we could get you hooked up with a nice English gir, Mr K?....


http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/tyne/4522007.stm


Do you want me to get her phone number for you?

.Or you could listen to some nostalgic theme tunes from past TV shows...

I would especially recommend the Kia Ora advert song (in the ADS and PIFs section).....Loads of UK shows, but quite a few oldies from the USA.


http://tv.cream.org/specialassignments/themes/1.htm

Funny, I was just thinking that I should finally settle down with a nice rich girl...

This is interesting to me. I always thought it was the other way around. I even remember talking about the fact that the english language has way more words than most other languages, and we specifically talked about the fact that a typical French dictionary has far less words in it than an English dictionary.

I guess being concise has more to do with grammar and sentence structure though. Or I could be completely wrong. Highly doubtful, but possible.

I KNEW it..............we're all a bunch of drunks over here...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/4013525.stm

Britons 'funny but drunken' breed


"Britons are cleverly humorous, polite, proud and still maintain a stiff upper lip, an international survey has found.
People in Milan, Mumbai, Chicago, foreign correspondents and a panel in Norfolk found Britons were individual, tolerant and had a sense of history.

But hooliganism and drunkenness were also seen as part of British culture, when alcohol and sport were involved......."

Thanks for the tidbits Lord Ellpus. You are a good man, no matter what your family and friends say about you...:wink:

Oh my god, did I just use an emoticon?

four hours and forty-five minutes to go...

No probs, Mr K.....but I will be away for a while, as I am just about to walk the mad greyhound in the woods. Beautiful day here...the sun has just come up, and there is a thick frost and a clear a blue sky.

I shall wear my thermal underwear, methinks.