I once killed an entire African village. Approximately 40 men, women and children. They had those big plates in their lips and I was kind of agitated since I hadn't had a cigarette in a couple of hours.
that where all the fun is, gus.
Slaughtering African villagers and peeing in sinks.
Isn't that what life is all about?
dont forget
peeing in house plants.
Great way to pass the time
I do that daily...saves the journey to the bathroom.
(and shouldn't that be great way to piss the time?)
Those big lip plates are annoying.
I'm pure as the driven' snow, I am! (ok there was that one time I was arrested in Kansas)
Once, a long time ago ...
I called up my philandering macho boyfriend's live answering service for his business and said, "Please tell him this is Margaret from the Gay-Lesbian Society and that he's late on his dues."
macho boyfriend and live answering service...now isn't that a contradiction of terms? Macho guys never have answering services...it ain't in them.
gustavratzenhofer wrote:Am I to understand that one is not supposed to pee in the sink?
Geez, Gus, I didn't know you even
have a sink in your shack. When d'you get that installed? Sure saves a trip to the out-house this cold time of year, doesn't it?
Decided: He stays in the tent.
It's times like this I thank God I have such a sick AND suspicious mind.
I always assume people are coming into my house in the middle of the day, pissing in my sink, wiping it off on the curtain, and then going in the refridgerator and spitting in the jelly.
A few months ago we had this guy working at the house during the remodel who we realized was a complete idiot.
I wanted to get rid of him right away, but the better half convinced me to let him work out the next week or two doing drudge work he couldn't mess up.
This dope of course say me as the villian in all this.
I became convinced one day, after going in the bathroom to brush my teeth, and finding the toothbrush wet when it shouldn't have been, that he was taking my toothbrush and rubbing it on his asshole.
So, I took a clean brush, and each time after using it, hid it in a place known only to me.
After he was gone, I admitted to my husband my paranoia, thinking he would laugh at me.
he said "I wouldn't have put it past him"
Lesson: Be afraid, be very afraid.
Sink pissers and toothbrush/asshole rubbers are everywhere.
To quote George Costanza from Seinfeld:
"It's all pipes! What's the difference?!"
Nah. I just swished it in the toilet.
Ok! I was shopping at PetCo when I ran the cart over, and stepped in, dog poo. This little beyatch with her little yappy dog with his little buckled vest on had let the poop lie without alerting the people who work there. I kicked most of the poo off my shoe and then told a worker there was poop to clean up (loudly, in front of the offending duo). But, one little bit of poo would NOT come off my shoe. So, I wiped my sole on the bottom of a display rack to get the rest of the poo off.
