A major news report - hopefully you all will participate

A news report should say just about everything important in the first paragraph, or even the first sentence. The rest just elaborates. The old advice still works - tell them what you're going to say, say it, then tell them what you said. Do not editorialize.

Have you "Googled" and "Dogpiled" things like:

"Tips on how to be a good journalist"
"How to write a news article"
"How to become a journalist"

??

Yes im going to google those. Thanks for the tip.
Anyone of you guys have been into experience as a journalist or as a news reporter and can share it with us? Hands on experience is always the best..better than tens of books

Hello everyone..I want your advise on this report which I wrote. All kinds of comments, suggestions are welcome!

Thanks

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Broadcasters, media experts and students from around the region and across the globe gathered in to watch, learn and fulfill their dreams at the most significant and comprehensive media event, which offered a valuable set of exhibitions, conferences and various media opportunities at the center of the city. Friday, the 9th of December, which was the second day of the event, featured various seminars, student productions and debatable conferences. What did the visitors, students and media professionals discover in that event? What impressions have they formed about the future of media in the region?

As thousands of local and international visitors paid a visit to the exhibition, they were stunned and astonished to see the jaw-dropping, state-of-the art equipment that was exhibited over a wide scale area. Creativity was everywhere: from the lighting, which was a combination of bright fluorescents and colorful "moving heads" that decorated the ceiling with their spots and beams, to the different kinds of media outlets and companies which offered their services and solutions. Sounds of high-tech speakers dominated the atmosphere, except for one place: The newly built high definition station, which was made possible by the contribution of tens of companies from North America, Europe and Asia who donated equipment and services for its operation. Their valuable contribution has fully paid off: In and around this area, there were no technicians or media experts. Instead, the state-of the art landmark was pioneered by one single force: The students.

"Everyone out of the set!" ….
"Camera operators take your positions!" …
"We're going live on air!"

The voices of the tens of young, enthusiastic and hard-working university students were heard from a far distance. Majoring in various media fields, the students worked in one cohesive team for 3 consecutive days making their own live shows, interviews, studio designs, customs and special effects taking care of every aspect from A to Z: Constructing the set, directing the scene and finally presenting the show and broadcasting it live on t.v. At this station, students were seen fulfilling their dreams. Indeed, a fully-functioning HDTV was the centre of attention for every passer by.

Hm. Reply to "Report"
You began:
"Broadcasters, media experts and students from around the region and across the globe gathered in to watch, learn and fulfill their dreams at the most significant and comprehensive media event, which offered a valuable set of exhibitions, conferences and various media opportunities at the center of the city. Friday, the 9th of December, which was the second day of the event, featured various seminars, student productions and debatable conferences. What did the visitors, students and media professionals discover in that event? What impressions have they formed about the future of media in the region?"


My comment:
Good you included the date. However, you haven't named the event or said much that's specific, which presents problems in journalism and article writing and even interesting reports. I am thinking you mean a news report and therefore journalism.

Journalism amounts to organizing information for busy people or entertaining through instant engagement. Readers seldom like to play guessing games. We've been through the first paragraph and still don't know what the event was called and nothing specific. What's your main idea or impression?


How about something like this:

"Broadcasters, media experts and students drooled over jaw-dropping, state-of-the art equipment at Friday's (or at the Dec. 9) xxx Exhibition in XXX.

Bright fluorescents and colorful moving heads dangling from the ceilings, aimed spotlights and beams on exhibits from an array of media outlets and companies, but the setpiece of the second day of this international exhibit was a student project--a high-definition station made possible by donations from scores of companies from Europe to Asia.

*********

OK, dude. You're off to a good start. What differences do you see between my example above and what your first draft said? What makes information sing? How can focus and compact detail paint a picture where words-words-words fall short?

Play with the words and have some fun but ALWAYS keep a focus and be sure you know what you're going to tell (facts, impressions, details, etc.) before you start. Get the reader started with something to rivet his/her attention and/or a pinpoint onto the what and where that are taking place.

Sally

Excellent feedback Sally. Ill make the changes on my draft.
I believe new and sometimes informal vocabulary is what makes the information sing. i.e you mentioned "jaw-dropping" .. well thats nice. It entertains the reader.

Plus, the more we describe the scene for the reader, the more he'll be able to imagine it as if he is over there. This helps in him understanding the topic.

Thanks agian

Glad you found the feedback helpful.


Sally

Cool story about a techno-expo on NPR today
NPR's morning edition today (01.09.06) had a robust feature about a techno exhibition that reminded me of our discussion on this thread.

What a rollicking and interesting feature! The only way I would fault it was not enough participant color--people who were ga-ga versus those who ho-hummed or whatever. And that's just a thought.

I had great fun listening. Did you? Take in their streamcast and comment?

<http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5132812>

"What's Hot and What's Not in Las Vegas," by Was and Chadwick.

Sal

Very interesting Sally. Actually this is one of the most interesting fields where you can clearly see the vast advancement in technology and the hi-tech industry which is becoming more user friendly and more sophisticated, giving the consumer a wide range of choices and options that are being more innovative than anytime before.

How do you expect to see this field let's say...20 years from now?

I live in the mud, friend. I wonder how I'll catch grubs for breakfast and snails for lunch. No knowledge of human technological development 20 years from today. Best wishes. -Sally