Reply Tue 6 Dec, 2005 07:36 pm
patterns and physical dominions summon tracers
carving my name into rivers and sands.
you search for a geometry of words
to shape the letters and
gild our crown with curses
a reflesive habit, reactionary to simpler sentences.
this pen wrote in vague centuries
climbing cold slate and fossils
marble liqours the poor
a fraternity in dire need of air.

polar winds blow the dust
frozen and grey
sticking to a field of poppies and irises.
we see the cult no matter how deranged and obscure.

plastic accusations of nobility and censorship
enthroned creeping vines in funeral urns.
Your pandora voice called all plagues as brothers
your revelation of insects
turned them all to stone, you blink like medusa.

two foxes stared at the poplar trees
busy with teethwork and pawstep
licked a cluster of leaves drip with honey
in a blue sheet raining medals and ribbons.

time stole through softly into my room to borrow a lantern
left a quart of kerosene and two wicks.
she owes me three hours
and i owe her a grave.
photographs harbor winds,breezes,and smoke.
hallucinations extend a sincere arm
but i can never quite grasp it.
the sun grieves for the loss of his eyes
the moon still carries a stone to remind her
of a reflection in the dark.
sycamore bones rattle and prophesize
your end of days.
oracle submission castrates the morning.

struggling to understand
prometheus gave light to man
hoping to blind the sun to the beauty of night and sleep.

you thoughts floated by attacking pedestrians
giving lovers papercuts.
shimmer of flesh kept wet and cold
a simple process to dull the bones
catching the bathwater to carry my disease.

the skin dismisses your voice as a heretic
but your feet convince me you have walked through holy lands
and have painted miracles with your dead brown eyes
imprisoning demons in your color to stop them from
stealing the numbers of faith and doctrine.


arrogance is a poisoner of words
a spy in the alphabet collects your musings
hung on the tip of our tongues.
you sold my fate in envelopes of leather
and heard my name in the threads of hollow hands
and quiet words brighter than stars.
tattoos of spirals sewn on my skin
because
the words refuse to bleed for me.
my veins mutter vagrancies
rhyming with my heartbeat.

i see a source for this black river.
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 1,014 • Replies: 11
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Letty
 
  1  
Reply Wed 7 Dec, 2005 06:35 am
Chester, This is one cryptic poem, and yet it is very well written. I find myself wondering exactly what the inspiration?

The title also caught my eye. Is it against your principles to explicate?
0 Replies
 
AngeliqueEast
 
  1  
Reply Wed 7 Dec, 2005 06:59 am
I like this!
0 Replies
 
Cola
 
  1  
Reply Wed 7 Dec, 2005 10:51 am
Chester ...

The language in your poem was so great it forced me to read on, even though I only had a vague idea of what was going on in the poem.

"teethwork" "sycamore bones" "dead brown eyes" "geometry of words" I love the fresh language and imagery.

I would also love an explication ...
0 Replies
 
Letty
 
  1  
Reply Wed 7 Dec, 2005 12:35 pm
ok, Chester. We asked, and?
0 Replies
 
tcb
 
  1  
Reply Wed 7 Dec, 2005 01:41 pm
"Yellow matter custard, dripping from a dead dog's eye"
When asked what the meaning of this was John Lennon replied "Gibberish"
An honest answer from a gifted mind
IMO this is not poetry but irather self indulgent cerebral diarrhea.
Now, if the author could organize his nice collection of words to the point where a scintilla of meaning was made readily available to the reader, well now that might be poetry
Of course and acerbic though it may be, this is just my opinion
Cheers
t
0 Replies
 
askchester
 
  1  
Reply Wed 7 Dec, 2005 02:04 pm
thank you very much for your kind remarks. the title was just a random thing so i could post. this was a collage of different parts of a longer piece. i tried to excerpt the parts that made the most impact and glue them together. the inspiration was from a long hiatus in my writing. i just had to get the words out of my head.

and tcb is welcome to his opinion and i appreciate any comments or complaints to help me become a better writer.
0 Replies
 
tcb
 
  1  
Reply Wed 7 Dec, 2005 02:24 pm
this was a collage of different parts of a longer piece.
and tcb is welcome to his opinion and i appreciate any comments or complaints to help me become a better writer.


Chester
You just confirmed my assessment
As I mentioned, you drew from a nicely filled well of words
I've noticed that here at A2K, many posters sugarcoat their reviews or mendaciously praise when in truth they want to excoriateÂ….not everyone, but some.
It seems that many contributors are content to sound like they're writing when in fact they're just doodling with vowels and consonants.
This is not directed at your peice
Having said that, I'm glad you took my comments in the spirit in which they were intended and whatever you do don't stop writing, you have a definite flair
Cheers
0 Replies
 
askchester
 
  1  
Reply Wed 7 Dec, 2005 02:31 pm
i write poetry as a series of images,(ideas,feeling) or a single one. if a can piece them together to make a coherent poem i try, but most often im stuck on an image im trying to express. some sentences resonate deeper than others and those are the ones i chose for this piece. so like tcb said its not really complete yet, they were seperate images i just stuck together. the last line attempts to thread them together, but if it works or not ill just have to wait and see.
0 Replies
 
flushd
 
  1  
Reply Thu 8 Dec, 2005 09:46 pm
ask-chester,

I enjoy reading your posts. It seems to be you are close to breaking up and pouring out a whole new language. I can't wait! I can taste the potential in all that you write. Looking forward to reading more.

Smile
0 Replies
 
AngeliqueEast
 
  1  
Reply Fri 9 Dec, 2005 04:21 am
ask-chester,

You keep doing it your way! Experiment, experiment! Many of us like what your doing. Very Happy
0 Replies
 
Questioner
 
  1  
Reply Fri 9 Dec, 2005 11:14 am
ask_chester wrote:

and tcb is welcome to his opinion and i appreciate any comments or complaints to help me become a better writer.


Excellent attitude m8. Unlike what others here would have us believe, constructive criticism and critiquing is the best way to help us improve.

Love your poem, the construction is sound, if a bit overdone with the thesaurus.

Keep at it!
0 Replies
 
 

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