questions?

"Why did the sun and the moon become upset with the earth?"

Quite simply because the earth failed to invite the sun and the moon to its tea party. The sun and the moon felt rather neglected you see, and decided they didn't like the earth much anymore.

"How did the sea dry up?"

Probably had a little too much to drink drink. Of the alcohol type substance I am implying, tres dehydrating.

"Who made the sea creatures walk onto the land, the land creatures fly into the sky and the flying creatures hide underground?"

Oh that was... erm... Bob.

Coming up next: How did the camel get its hump?

I would like feedback on this. It is not one of my better poems, but maybe I can change that. My concerns: how can I make it tighter? does the last line work? is it sloppy, or does the "rant" feel work? Thank you.

For My Nigerian King

It has taken an off-priced wedding dress
and a two-hour counseling session to get here
alone again. I gospelled your praises
in the church-house,
I studied the mirror,
so I could walk like a lady, traded
camouflage for cornflower.

I didn't beat no yams with
mortars, didn't speak Yoruba
like your brother's Brit fiancé but
I kneeled till the reverential
African blood your father swore
I had raged and boiled
mean.

I never knew if you were being Nigerian
or just plain male. You never knew
I jazzed, ripped pages of
bibles and plastered them
to my womanist body
for the love of art, I smile
imagine your disgust.
I compare our lovemaking
to eating dirt.

Alone again I repent nightly.
Ndegeocello's bass sings to me
awakens me
I will keep my new raging walk.

I could stand to delete some of the "I"'s ie: "studied the mirror" instead of "I studied the mirror" (sorry, didn't mean to reply to myself but couldn't help

tcb-

thanks

and cheers to you