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should introverts be forced to be extroverted?

 
 
Reply Wed 23 Nov, 2005 12:38 am
My roommate is very introverted and quiet. She makes no effort to get to know anyone, spends all day sleeping and on the computer and seems pretty depressed. I've tried talking to her about her feelings and she explained to me that she has little desire to get to know new people. she does not enjoy parties and hates making conversation. She would rather be comfortable and just stay home by herself though she did admit that she misses her close circle of childhood friends she had to leave behind when she moved away to college. she went on to say that there are different kinds of people and she just happens to be one who isn't a social butterfly and never has been.
I don't know if I should try to coax her out of her little bubble or just respect her wishes and let her be. do you guys think introverted people should make an effort to be extroverted or just accept themselves for who they are? What should I do?
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 2,092 • Replies: 12
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fresco
 
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Reply Wed 23 Nov, 2005 01:16 am
This is the classic "am I my brother/sister's keeper ?" question. The answer depends on how you view the concept of morality. I tend to think "morality" is "expediency" so if your roommates activities affect you you act.
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goodfielder
 
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Reply Wed 23 Nov, 2005 05:09 am
Quote:
should introverts be forced to be extroverted?


Why?

Leave us alone. If the world was full of extroverts it would be unbearable.
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Noddy24
 
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Reply Wed 23 Nov, 2005 08:27 am
Introversion/Extroversion is a sliding scale.

Your roommate sounds unusually withdrawn. Does she attend classes? Hand in her work on time? Keep up her physical appearance?
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boomerang
 
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Reply Wed 23 Nov, 2005 08:30 am
Yep. There is a difference between introversion and depression. Find out for sure what you're dealing with.

If it is just introversion I agree with goodfielder to let her be herself.
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Bella Dea
 
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Reply Wed 23 Nov, 2005 08:47 am
Why would you want to change someone? If you want to, ask her to come with you places. She might be feeling shy or left out. If she wants to go, great. If not, let her be. Some people just don't enjoy the same things you do.
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yitwail
 
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Reply Wed 23 Nov, 2005 09:10 am
it's nice of you to be concerned, anna, but ultimately it's up to her to decide how she wants to live. i like bella's idea of feeling her out, to see if she wants to go out, and she'll probably be more receptive if it's just you & her, or at most a handful of people. but keep in mind she might become attached to you, then become disappointed & really depressed if you decide she's not your type.
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Linkat
 
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Reply Wed 23 Nov, 2005 11:49 am
I don't think it is the introverted part that is the issue. I think this person has a major depression issue. Many introverted people are plenty happy and many extroverted people are depressed. Also, being introverted doesn't mean that you don't like to be around other people just prefer being introspective.

I am introverted, but can still be outgoing. I also love being alone and doing quiet things. Some times being around too many people for too long, I feel the need to have alone time. I am also a very happy person.

In any case, you should not change a person, because it is better suited for your personality. How would you feel if you were forced or asked to stay home and have alone time? Of course you should just accept yourself for who you are. Being introverted is fine, being extroverted is fine.
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fishin
 
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Reply Wed 23 Nov, 2005 02:52 pm
Re: should introverts be forced to be extroverted?
anna211705 wrote:
I don't know if I should try to coax her out of her little bubble or just respect her wishes and let her be. do you guys think introverted people should make an effort to be extroverted or just accept themselves for who they are? What should I do?


Reverse your question.

Should extroverted people make an effort to be introverted?

Would you want someone to attempt to force you to do thing you aren't interested in doing? Seems a bit silly doesn't it???
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Mills75
 
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Reply Thu 24 Nov, 2005 07:22 am
boomerang wrote:
Yep. There is a difference between introversion and depression. Find out for sure what you're dealing with.

If it is just introversion I agree with goodfielder to let her be herself.

Dammit! That's what I was going to post.

anna211705: It sounds like she's not adjusting well to college life. Sleeping all day isn't characteristic of introversion, but it frequently accompanies depression. Even an introvert needs a social support network (i.e., friends), and your roommate has lost hers. The best you can do is encourage her to join a club (most colleges have something for just about every interest) where she can meet people with similar interests. Failing that, you might encourage her to speak with a counselor or therapist.
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JLNobody
 
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Reply Thu 24 Nov, 2005 10:34 am
Boomerang, good question; Mills75, good answer.
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anna211705
 
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Reply Mon 28 Nov, 2005 09:37 pm
thanks for all the advice. forgot who said, "should extroverts force themselves to be introverted" but that was a great point. well said.
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Beena
 
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Reply Mon 5 Dec, 2005 06:08 am
anna,
What exactly does your friend do on the computer?
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