Love: Is it a behavior or an ability?

Oh my goodness.

Congratulations on legal custody, though. That's big.

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Yikes, and thinking of you.

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Bouncing yet another oldie, but goodie.

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I'll second that. Hello Lash!

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ossobuco wrote:

I thought I knew what love is, for years would have answered "willing good for the loved one", but that is a little too idealistic to last as a key description for me. For some other years I would have said "love is a product of behavior", but that's missing the innate part.

Certainly we learn to love well, and to love well does involve some unselfish wish for the loved one, but it also requires some feedback, some love back at you, or else it becomes quite sere and even possibly the opposite of love, underlain with resentment.

So now I am thinking love is a process, a continuing one, and a fragile one.

As luck would have it, re love, I still agree with myself in that quote from a few years ago...

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Maybe it's both. We can't really love anyone unless we first love ourselves; we can't really love anything including ourself unless we know our self very well. So, we would then have to get to know ourselves well so we could love ourselves, then maybe we can love another.

Of course the ability to love is innate. But, bad parents or caregivers sure could warp our ability to love ourselves. Sooooooo...Know thyself. Even then, we would have to choose to love someone each and every day, such as a spouse. People are not always lovable.

This makes sense to me.

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How nice to bounce Rae up, as well!!

Hello! Good to see you.

I didn't notice we were on this thread 3 years ago.

Good grief.

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Can't believe it, but I just went back to read more of this thread and found it began in April, 2003!

Embarrassed

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Can't believe it was that long ago either, Lash! Time has certainly flown right out my window!

Good to see you as well.....Hope this finds you happy and keeping out of trouble! :wink:

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Rae wrote:

Can't believe it was that long ago either, Lash! Time has certainly flown right out my window!

Good to see you as well.....Hope this finds you happy and keeping out of trouble! :wink:

Happy, yes. Laughing

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Attagirl!

:wink:

Glad to see some things haven't changed! Very Happy

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After asking that question of "What is LOVE" for most of my adult life (now 76) I believe that love is a behavior not a feeling although feelings may be involved such as affection, but not required. We should love our neighbor and even our enemy but not necessarily have to even like them. If love is a behavior then like all behaviors it can be learned, practiced and improved on. ...Why do people say "I feel" instead of "I think"? Is it because thinking can be questioned and feelings can't?...If love is a behavior then it has observable and necessary characteristics that identify it as such. .......It's encouraging to read that others think deeply about such subjects as what LOVE is. Most people don't just shy away from the question. but run from it. Love can be a product of an emotion or feeling but not required, and feelings or emotions can be a product of love but not required.....Thanks

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@boomerang,

I don't know why we should either take one or another...it certainly is an innate ability n it sure its true we learn about it as we go along in life...the apparent dichotomy is appalling n having to go about it frightening.

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@haywire,

You have the right idea; love is a behavior. For me, it's treating all people equally regardless of background, race, ethnicity, religion or politics.

However, for humans, emotion is hard to overcome. We all have our individual perceptions of right and wrong that differ from others. I think that's where the alienation is created and causes arguments/disagreements.

Look at how most Americans think about the subject of the US attack on Syria. Most are against it, but the president and many others in politics want to send a message to Assad that using chemical weapons is wrong.

Who's right and who's wrong?

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@cicerone imposter,

I suppose you mean with equity not equal that would be odd coming from you... Wink

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@Fil Albuquerque,

Oh, I get it; treat all people equity. Right?

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@Fil Albuquerque,

Oh, I get it; treat all people equity. Right?

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@cicerone imposter,

Yes WITH equity for a criteria or equitably !
You are aware that because this is not clearly explained half the world has a great confusion on their head on what it means treating people equally.
Making the distinction thus seams justified n justifiable.

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@boomerang,

boomerang wrote:

At dinner tonight, Mr. B and I entered a rather heated discussion on the nature of love and empathy.
One of us believed that it was a learned behavior, the other believed that it was an innate ability.
(I'll tell you my position later.)

I'm terribly curious to know which opinion you think is closer to the truth and why.
My undying gratitude is yours for responding.

I vote for an innate ability, but only qua the male gender,
inasmuch as I cannot venture to pretend to know
the emotional dynamics of the other gender; I have no way of knowing that.

Do we all agree on the definition of LOVE ?
I deem it to mean liking something or someone very intensely;
i.e., liking and loving are on the same continuum, in different degrees of intensity. Yes??

David

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@Fil Albuquerque,

Go play word games with others. I'm not interested.y

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Love: Is it a behavior or an ability?

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