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Thu 3 Nov, 2005 02:06 pm
My Bessie is a bottom-of-the-line, cheap-as-they-come 1995 Jeep Cherokee. She has a five-speed standard, a 2.5 litre four-cylinder engine and two-wheel drive. She also has in excess of 177,000 miles. Take her out on the highway and put your foot down, and she purrs, and then she gets excited and starts chanting "road trip! road trip!" She goes from one oil change to the other without burning any oil. She has the original engine and transmission, clutch included. I had to replace the fan clutch and water pump, and then the cheesey, cheap radiator which came standard. The after-market radiator she is running now could stop a slug from a .44 magnum and not leak. she gets great mileage, and can run at speed for eight hours without a complaint.
When it is time to put Bessie out to pasture, i won't have her salvaged for scrap. I won't sell her, and i won't trade her in. I'll get some good ol' boy with a backhoe to dig a deep pit with a slope. I'll roll Bessie down in, and then place ceremonial bowls of brake fluid, power steering fluid and differential fluid around her, with a small can of freon. I'll put five quarts of 10W30 and a new filter down there, four gallons of Prestone, a gallon of windshield washer fluid, and gas cans with eighteen gallons of high-test (the amount required to fill her "sixteen gallon" tank). Those will be to sustain her in the journey to the afterlife.
Then i'll strew garlands of fresh cut flowers over the body. When the hole is filled in, i'll get some goofy new age bytch who thinks she's a druid priestess to dance nekkid over Bessie's final resting place, chanting some arcane crap which i'm certain she'll allege to be sacred incantations. I'll get the best minds of ay-too-kay to attend to the obsequies, secure in the knowledge that every mother's child of 'em will be a true pagan at heart.
Bessie deserves no less.
I knew i could count on you, Boss . . . you know any new age loons who would do the nekkid dancin' for us?
<where's Set gonna find a good ole boy around here?>
I suspect the genus, with regional variations, is everywhere.
Nice lookin mesquite there dys.
Jeeps are cool. We can live safe in the knowledge that all those others are just Jeep wannabees (at 3 and 4 times the money)
Ill be glad to help put er down with ya, course we gotta drive a stake through er valve cover, or Bessie will be part of the undead.
Ill be happy to read "Crossin the Bar" for her.
Thank you for your support folks, especially you, FM, with your heathen, blackened heart, you are just the man to fit the bill . . .
Yeh but at 177K, shes just about broke in. I hadda get a new exhaust system on mine to pass inspection, and they removed a block or two of barbed war from the rear differential.
In Maine, its not a big deal to see an 80s vintage jeep with over 300K. I think most all of the early ones had the 2.7 4 cylinder.
A lot of the US Mail drivers have the "old School" jeeps and I hear that Jeep is returning this body style to the market because the Jeep liberty is too much like a cartoon car.
Theres a new Jeep something, something which is a larger version of the old Cherokee and they will , in spring of 06, introduce a Yuppified version of same with all kinds of electronic **** to distract you while you drive .
Around my neck of the woods, old trucks don't die- they just become lawn art. Why not just plant her up with a few marigolds and tomatoes?
Those new "Liberty" craprides look like an attempt to create a yuppie SUV--i wouldn't drive one on a bet. I've met so many people who have old Cherokees who wouldn't give them up for the world. One fellah has a '93, another guy has an '88 with 500,000+ miles. They are about the best vehicle produced in the United States. I shudder to think what they have become and won't go look at them any more.
Green Witch, i'm appalled. What kind of pagan attitude is that? If you ain't gonna dance around nekkid at the memorial service, at least bring an offering--Armorall or somethin' . . .
Which reminds me, was that antipodean wabbit offerin' to dance around nekkid?
Can I bring the Lone Star beer?
You betcha . . . i don't take strong drink myself, but i suspect it ain't really pagan unless lotsa folks tie one on . . . FM should know for sure 'bout that . . .
Me'n Joe're skeered fer ya, set. That Bessie, she ain't no kin ta Christine, is she?
Don tell'r 'bout me.
I'll bring a mess of duct tape, because you just never know when it'll come in handy.
Setanta wrote:
Which reminds me, was that antipodean wabbit offerin' to dance around nekkid?
Sure...but remember, I have fur.
Duct tape . . . good idea, we can leave some in the offering for Bessie's journey to the afterlife, too . . .
What a buncha weenies , I wont be drinkin either so me and set can be designated drivers for all the others at the Bachanalia.
Ole Bessies gonna know she was loved.
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