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Sat 15 Oct, 2005 01:10 am
Dark World
All these emotions,
All these feelings,
They're just locked away,
Inside,
I cannot stand,
The pain of loneliness,
But I realize that some day I'll be,
Revived,
I'm in a dark world,
Where they all hear,
My thoughts and,
Scream,
And I feel the same,
As I have always felt,
But now it's more,
Extreme,
I feel on some days,
It's disaster,
I feel on others I'm,
Deranged,
Happy on the outside,
Don't care what people think,
But on the inside my heart's about to,
Sink,
I'm in a dark world,
Where they all hear,
My thoughts and
Scream,
And I feel the same,
As I've always felt,
But now it seems more,
Extreme...
You have a good way of expressing yourself. The poem is very well done. I am not a fan of poems of despair, but yours is one of the better of the kind I have seen lately.
I agree with edgar in the sense that I'm not a huge fan of despair poems (though I have written a few myself). This poem is pretty good, but the thing that I really see in it is potential. It seems you have a good ability to express your feelings, now what you should do is keep practicing and maybe try some literary techniques like rhyme, meter, alliteration, etc.
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