Flushd,
The more you know, generally speaking, the better off you will be ... no matter the subject. Learning is a great pleasure, and education the key to leading a better, and more satisfying life. Go for it.
In the meantime, here are a few things you might want to put into practice:
Give yourself a half hour a day to meditate. Put a straight chair in a room where you won't be disturbed. Sit facing a blank wall for your half hour (let an alarm clock measure the time outside your circle of vision). Sit up straight with the base of your skull directly over that point where your spine attaches to your hips. Shoulders back and squared, feet flat on the floor. Let your hands sit in your lap, one palm in the other. Posture is very important.
Breath in and out through your nose in a slow fully conscious way. Draw the breath deep into your lungs filling them to capacity. This should not be forced, but done mindfully. Think about each breath as it is inhaled, held, expelled, and held. Concentrate on the breathing, nothing else.
After a short time several things will happen. Your mind will stray. Errant thoughts will come that have nothing to do with your thoughtful breathing. "What time is it? It must be nearly half an hour? Take a look at the clock? My shoulders ache, my nose itches. Move to a more comfortable position, let those shoulders slump ... just for a moment. I wonder what's for dinner tonight? Did I turn off the stove before sitting down? What was that sound? Is someone waiting to see me? Why am I doing such a foolish thing as sitting in front of a blank wall thinking about breathing? etc., etc. etc." These thoughts will come, especially at first, without your even being aware of them.
Acknowledge the thought(s), and then dismiss them and return to your breathing exercise. This will become easier as you gain experience in sitting meditation.
Those who become adept at sitting meditation often respond to their mind emptying by going to sleep. In a monastery meditation hall, there is a senior monk who walks ceaselessly behind the sitters carrying a long curved stick. When a sitter becomes drowsy, they make a small bow and gasho. This signals the monk in walking meditation. The stick touches each shoulder, and then comes down with a sharp WHACK. Generally that wakes a sitter up nicely. In appreciation the sitter makes another bow and gasho. A gasho is placing the palms of the hands together similar to the conventional western prayer gesture.
Be more fully aware of you daily activities. Focus fully on whatever it is that you are doing. If you are washing dishes, keep your mind focused on that task. At the office completely focus on the details of whatever job you are doing. Bring your past experience to bear on the task of the moment. Ask yourself what will be the likely result of your effort. Let your
self be lost in your work whatever it is.
Think before speaking, or acting. Try to understand the situation you find yourself in, and the people who may be affected by it. What are the sounds you hear and the things you see? What do they mean? What response are you to expected to make? Will your words or actions cause others to suffer more than they would if you remained silent, or in active? What words or actions might reduce the suffering of those around you? Take things seriously,
but not too seriously. Indulge and surprise people by doing random acts of kindness.
Control your emotions, don't let them control you. Emotions are natural to our species, but if left uncontrolled are they are the source of much of the world's suffering. Anger, greed, jealousy, bitterness, vengeance, prejudice, and chauvinism all crop up in every person. If these were not controlled by self-discipline, social customs and law you can imagine how much more suffering there would be in the world.
The other side of the coin are those emotions that we associate with pleasure, just remember always that the coin has two sides and that ultimately they are joined. Attachments lead inevitably to suffering, so don't let yourself become too greatly attached to sensory or mental pleasures.
In the illusory world of multiplicity change and value-making are inherent. Difference makes for choices, and one choice will almost always be valued over another. We attach ourselves to those choices that we believe pleasurable, and avoid those that we associate with suffering. In choosing we attach ourselves to that which will slip from our grasp, and in losing we will suffer. Ultimately, all those distinctions we make are empty and meaningless. Does this mean that one can think, speak or act in ways that will cause suffering? No, no, no. One should accept that all thoughts, words and actions have the potential for increasing suffering, but at the same time recognize that suffering can be conquered and surmounted. How? By practicing in every moment the precepts, the Middle Way, that has enlivened Buddhism for 2,500 years.
Study of the Sutras is a good thing. To hear and heed the words of wise teachers is a good thing. To practice daily a life dedicated to reducing all suffering is a good thing. Perhaps you will have the Enlightenment experience, and that is a very, very good thing. Even if you never get a glimpse of the elephant, the hunt will make your life, and the lives of those around you, better. To live a Buddhist life should make it easier to bear disappointment, loss, sickness and death.
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