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Sat 8 Oct, 2005 11:01 am
Three girls watching with
Child eyes and
Baby hearts
The air is Thick with Fear
We Stand at the entranceway,
blocking him from flight.
Innocence of youth! And then none.
She cries
In excruciating pain
We cry
Utterly meek,
Unable to alleviate it.
Barren, Burdened, Beaten
Forcefully cast to the floor
Mourning her misery
Drowning in this destiny
To be afraid to leave
Afraid of
Solitude!
Afraid of
Loneliness.
And thus she remains
Horrified, Hurt, Hardened
Bloodied and beaten
And he
So large, So strong
So
Cowardly.
Fear of solitude, interesting. This is a hard subject to write about, you did good.
daniellejean - I don't know what to say.
"Child eyes and baby hearts."
If I wasn't a grown man I'd have tears in my eyes reading this.
thank you for your kind comments goodfielder. This one is close to home.
p.s. any suggestions for improvement?
Improvement? No.. Your piece resounded with clarity and - more importantly - truth. I could see it all happening but my point of view wasn't the one I've been used to for many years, it was the point of view of the children.
No, no improvement is warranted daniellejean, it stands for itself.
I agree, pure emotion is what makes creativity, you can't improve on that!
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