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Who did you want to be like?

 
 
dlowan
 
Reply Sat 24 Sep, 2005 06:32 pm
I was thinking about the many ways we get to be who we are.....


This led me to think about which REAL people in our lives (NOT film and TV stars and rock stars and such, but people you really knew) we may try to emulate and model ourselves on......especially if our lives are rough and difficult...



Did you have such people? Did they have a real effect on your life? Are there ways you are like them now? Did they make a real difference to who you are?

What do you think they would think if they could see you now? (Or what DO they think, if they CAN see you now?)
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Type: Discussion • Score: 0 • Views: 3,069 • Replies: 80
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makemeshiver33
 
  1  
Reply Sat 24 Sep, 2005 06:47 pm
Nice ? Dlowan...no time spent pondering this question. Its easy...

I had a horrible childhood, move out of my mothers house when I was 8..yes, 8 and moved in with my father, whom of which took me back to my mothers when I was 12, because my step-mother was having an affair with my step-father. Yep..get that one, and you people think I could write a soap opera on my sister alone! LOL

The ONLY person that stands out in my mind as someone I would want to be like would be my mothers, father. Any chance that I had, when I was a child to get to that peaceful home of my grandfathers, it is where I was. I spent every summer with him. And beg not to have to go home.

My papaw, I adored him. He was a strong role model. A Man's Man. He was a large man, over 6 foot tall, long legs and huge arms. Even before he died, he was still a strong man in every sense of the word. When he spoke, everyone listened to him. He never spoke lies or rumors. And was looked up to by many in the community.

Maybe in my childs mind, he was a legend to me. He was bigger than life.
He was my sanctuary and he was my hero.

I miss him so much.........still.

But why I would choose him to be my role model? It was his strength that I found so admirable. His sense of self-worth and his pride that he displayed. And he was kind....

And I think he'd be proud of me, even though I can hear him scolding me on a few issues...lol
0 Replies
 
dyslexia
 
  1  
Reply Sat 24 Sep, 2005 06:57 pm
Marty Feldman
0 Replies
 
Sturgis
 
  1  
Reply Sat 24 Sep, 2005 07:02 pm
I have to admit that there was no one particular person I strove to be like. Sure there were bits and pieces of several different folks who made an impact on me and who I wanted to be like in some way. That's about where it ended and soon life took me on my own route which since these people had been part of my existence; incorporated their ideas and ways.

In order it would be as follows:
1)dear old Grampa, a sweet man who was something of a protector of me.
2)My 6th grade teacher...first person to get me to understand the value of studying.
3)my electronics teacher from high school (he had the dubious honor of telling me how my father had died).
4)A Boy Scout Troop leader...he was killed this past Spring by a reckless driver and I can still hear his voice and advice.
5)The minister of a local church, he helped me get through some rough patchs after my father's death (I was only in my teens).


I am sure there are others but these are the ones who hit into my mind first.
0 Replies
 
Diane
 
  1  
Reply Sat 24 Sep, 2005 07:06 pm
Hey Dys, you really are like Marty Feldman--go figure.
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gustavratzenhofer
 
  1  
Reply Sat 24 Sep, 2005 07:09 pm
I was influenced by a multitude of people -- parents, siblings, friends. Thousands of people have an effect on a person and shape that person's outcome. It's an ongoing, never-ending process.

Unless, of course, one was raised by wolves.

In that case he would just howl at the moon and eat the occasional rabbit.
0 Replies
 
mikey
 
  1  
Reply Sat 24 Sep, 2005 07:10 pm
Michael Collins
0 Replies
 
gustavratzenhofer
 
  1  
Reply Sat 24 Sep, 2005 07:12 pm
I've even been effected and my personality altered, infinitesimally, by dlowan.

I'm still not sure if that's a good thing.
0 Replies
 
Diane
 
  1  
Reply Sat 24 Sep, 2005 07:12 pm
My aunt Anne and her best friend, Lyn. They both were strong, self-reliant women who had learned not to care too much about what others thought. They were so unlike the rest of my family, teaching me about strength and self-respect.
BTW, my aunt was a little wacky, which is another reason I loved her. Yes, I'm a little wacky too, as Dys has found out, much to his amazement (or, could be to his chagrin).
0 Replies
 
gustavratzenhofer
 
  1  
Reply Sat 24 Sep, 2005 07:16 pm
I just noticed the title of the thread. I guess I never really wanted to be like anyone.

My wish came true.

A sidenote: Woody Allen was once asked the question "If you could be any person in the world, who would you want to be?"

Allen replied, "Anybody but me."
0 Replies
 
Diane
 
  1  
Reply Sat 24 Sep, 2005 07:47 pm
Howling and eating the occasional rabbit, not wabbit, doesn't sound so bad.

Gus did bring up a good point. My favorite people did influence me, but I never wanted to really be like them as much as I didn't want to be like my parents.

Dys, come to think of it, has influenced my life in many of the best possible ways, even if he makes me sleep on the couch. Sigh.
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Sat 24 Sep, 2005 07:54 pm
I have never wanted to be like any person I have known. Many times have not wanted to be like myself. Now I'm older and mellow, I have contentment. I don't know to what extent others have influenced me to the good.
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Sat 24 Sep, 2005 08:02 pm
makemeshiver33 wrote:
Nice ? Dlowan...no time spent pondering this question. Its easy...

I had a horrible childhood, move out of my mothers house when I was 8..yes, 8 and moved in with my father, whom of which took me back to my mothers when I was 12, because my step-mother was having an affair with my step-father. Yep..get that one, and you people think I could write a soap opera on my sister alone! LOL

The ONLY person that stands out in my mind as someone I would want to be like would be my mothers, father. Any chance that I had, when I was a child to get to that peaceful home of my grandfathers, it is where I was. I spent every summer with him. And beg not to have to go home.

My papaw, I adored him. He was a strong role model. A Man's Man. He was a large man, over 6 foot tall, long legs and huge arms. Even before he died, he was still a strong man in every sense of the word. When he spoke, everyone listened to him. He never spoke lies or rumors. And was looked up to by many in the community.

Maybe in my childs mind, he was a legend to me. He was bigger than life.
He was my sanctuary and he was my hero.

I miss him so much.........still.

But why I would choose him to be my role model? It was his strength that I found so admirable. His sense of self-worth and his pride that he displayed. And he was kind....

And I think he'd be proud of me, even though I can hear him scolding me on a few issues...lol


Ah, intersting, and fits in with the research on resilience (that is, that there are stable, consistent figures in a child's life despite parental inability, or circumstantial awfulness).

So, are you strong and kind?


dyslexia wrote:
Marty Feldman


Not "real".

Sturgis wrote:
I have to admit that there was no one particular person I strove to be like. Sure there were bits and pieces of several different folks who made an impact on me and who I wanted to be like in some way. That's about where it ended and soon life took me on my own route which since these people had been part of my existence; incorporated their ideas and ways.

In order it would be as follows:
1)dear old Grampa, a sweet man who was something of a protector of me.
2)My 6th grade teacher...first person to get me to understand the value of studying.
3)my electronics teacher from high school (he had the dubious honor of telling me how my father had died).
4)A Boy Scout Troop leader...he was killed this past Spring by a reckless driver and I can still hear his voice and advice.
5)The minister of a local church, he helped me get through some rough patchs after my father's death (I was only in my teens).


I am sure there are others but these are the ones who hit into my mind first.


Wow! Are bits and pieces of you like them?


gustavratzenhofer wrote:
I was influenced by a multitude of people -- parents, siblings, friends. Thousands of people have an effect on a person and shape that person's outcome. It's an ongoing, never-ending process.

Unless, of course, one was raised by wolves.

In that case he would just howl at the moon and eat the occasional rabbit.



Sigh...


mikey wrote:
Michael Collins


Who?


Diane wrote:
My aunt Anne and her best friend, Lyn. They both were strong, self-reliant women who had learned not to care too much about what others thought. They were so unlike the rest of my family, teaching me about strength and self-respect.
BTW, my aunt was a little wacky, which is another reason I loved her. Yes, I'm a little wacky too, as Dys has found out, much to his amazement (or, could be to his chagrin).


Ah! AUNTS!! Goddess bless 'em.

"Best friend"......? Hmmmmmm????????????
0 Replies
 
gustavratzenhofer
 
  1  
Reply Sat 24 Sep, 2005 08:03 pm
I think I have had a calming influence on your life, edgar.

I'm glad I was there for you.
0 Replies
 
gustavratzenhofer
 
  1  
Reply Sat 24 Sep, 2005 08:04 pm
My articulate response only deserves a "sigh".

Thanks, dlowan.
0 Replies
 
Eva
 
  1  
Reply Sat 24 Sep, 2005 08:08 pm
Diane wrote:
Yes, I'm a little wacky too, as Dys has found out, much to his amazement (or, could be to his chagrin).


To someone who wanted to be like Marty Feldman, the word would probably be "delight," Diane. Laughing

We had a good family friend (still do) named Carol. She and her husband were my parents' best friends. They were at the hospital when I was born, and they were always like family.

Carol and her gorgeous husband, Bill, were a very glamorous couple. They had "careers" instead of children. They were always taking fabulous trips, buying each other expensive presents, appearing in ads and TV commercials. Carol was the highest female executive with Southwestern Bell before she retired. Tall, beautiful, graceful, intelligent, with a voice that could charm the pants off people. And she had exquisite taste.

Every Christmas Eve they would stop by our house to exchange presents. There we were in pajamas and slippers, half of us miserably nursing colds and the other half bickering at each other. Carol would enter in her fur coat and heels, Bill in his tux, and they'd show us the new diamond watches they had just given each other before they left in their brand new Lincoln for some important social gathering. Among the bottles of English Leather aftershave and handmade plastic floral arrangements we gave each other, Carol and Bill's presents always stood out. I'd get a rhinestone tiara or a pearl-encrusted music box. I could never find anything remotely suitable to give them. After all, they had everything.

I decided at an early age that I wanted to be like Carol. I didn't want my mother's life, full of messy children and perpetual sacrifices. I would sweep in the door wearing designer gowns (which I could easily afford on my executive salary) on the arm of my tall, dark and handsome husband who adored me, and we would take cruises and fly off to Egypt and India. We would NOT go to PTA meetings and spend summers at the lake.

Well, some of Carol rubbed off, I will admit.

But as I grew older, so did Carol. On the day of her retirement party, Carol went to Bill's funeral instead. He had died very suddenly of cancer...previously undetected. That great, funny, handsome joke-teller was gone. It seemed impossible. And Carol was alone. Really alone. After that, she spent every Christmas with us. And it began to dawn on me that she probably envied us. My mother's sacrifices had paid off by then. We had each other. Carol only had us.

I am still close to Carol. I visit her regularly and call her often. She has developed some serious health problems of late, and I worry about her being there all by herself.

I love her dearly.

And she still gives the best Christmas gifts. Last year she couldn't get out to go shopping, so she gave my son a whole box full of quarters with strict instructions not to spend them on anything sensible.
0 Replies
 
gustavratzenhofer
 
  1  
Reply Sat 24 Sep, 2005 08:11 pm
That's a nice story, Eva.
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Sat 24 Sep, 2005 08:31 pm
Thanks, Gus.
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Sat 24 Sep, 2005 08:32 pm
gustavratzenhofer wrote:
My articulate response only deserves a "sigh".

Thanks, dlowan.


You are very welcome, Gus.
0 Replies
 
kickycan
 
  1  
Reply Sat 24 Sep, 2005 09:07 pm
I wanted to be like my grampa. He was always so funny and even though he annoyed the **** out of most of the family, they all still felt the love that shined from him. That's who I always wanted to be. Alas, to be annoying in an endearing way, you have to have people around you who have at least some brain power so that they "get" you. Unfortunately, my sister-in-law, the f*cking self-obsessed domineering know-it-all hateful bitch, has ruined all that for me. It's a thin line from charming jokester to uncle weirdo. I hate that bitch so much.

But I digress.
0 Replies
 
 

 
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