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writing 01

 
 
Reply Sat 24 Sep, 2005 11:12 am
Hi, I was doing some writing before if you still remember, and stopped for

some time. Now I’m trying again, and I hope that I’m not any worse than

before.




A genius

Olga Nataliova

Abeer doesn’t know why she suddenly found herself in the world fantasia.

She was in her bed; reading from worried moments. She was lost in her

black thoughts as usual, and thinks it’s time to find some jobs. She doesn’t

know what to do except what she was doing before marriage. Does Jame

still need a girl on this level of stupidity to watch the children when they

play video games?!

Does Jame still own the video games shop?, or is he involved in that new

activity that everybody does when finds a one meter space?. This mobile

phones accessories business. There is a general insanity called

communication that hit everybody. We are turned to be a nation of

businessmen.

Despite this, the human relationship got more cold and superficial. The

interconnection didn’t increase, but everything disgusting, awful, and

despicable.

She was deep in her thoughts, thinking how she has to follow this

cheerless caravan so she won’t be starved.

When she got lost in that mysterious world which was close to death, she

found herself once again in a month standing with guider in fantasia.



P.S this a translation from an Egyptian stories by Dr. Ahmed Khalid.
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Letty
 
  1  
Reply Sat 24 Sep, 2005 12:12 pm
Hey, navigator. Nice to see you writing again, my friend. I'm not quite certain if this is your original writing or if you are commenting on someone else's original writing.

There are some problems with what we call parallel structure in the body of your piece. I'll wait until you explain further.
0 Replies
 
navigator
 
  1  
Reply Sun 25 Sep, 2005 06:34 am
Hey, letty. Nice to see your reply Smile . This is my translation to a story as

mentioned. I'm not sure if I can write myself.
0 Replies
 
Letty
 
  1  
Reply Sun 25 Sep, 2005 06:43 am
Well, navigator. I won't attempt to correct anything that you have done with your excellent translation. I certainly couldn't do what you did, honey.

I would like to see more of your originals, however. <smile>
0 Replies
 
navigator
 
  1  
Reply Tue 27 Sep, 2005 06:54 am
Well, thanks for considering my translation excellent. About my originals,

maybe you don't want to read, because I'm not really good at this
0 Replies
 
Letty
 
  1  
Reply Tue 27 Sep, 2005 06:57 am
Navigator, don't tell yourself that, honey, ok? Just write and let us help you. <smile>
0 Replies
 
 

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