Help Slappy Pick a Halloween Costume Contest

Hee Hee

D'OH! I wasn't talking about guys.

Panz, love the mammogram thingie! When I got my first mammogram I propossed an equally painful "Scrotogram" for males... so far it hasn't quite taken off, so to speak.

If you've any desire to get laid, Slappy (equivalent to the "Does a bear sh*t in the woods?" question), avoid all refs to being gay... Hamsters and such are admittedly funny, but a big turn-off.

Take my advice, and practice your purr and "snuggle me" meow.

Honest, if more men pretended to be Kittens on Halloween, a lot more men would get sex. Seems Entirely Self-Evident to a female such as meself!

I don't know how a cat would compare to Spongebob Squarepants, but I really can't figure how I didn't have a one-night stand last year. Chicks loved the costume. Guess being kicked out of the club within 2 hours of getting there didn't help me.

Um, Spongebob is sexy?????? Learn something new every day....

Here it is bitches.

Hmm.

You're too toned. (I swear, I thought you had one of those fake chest things on until I squinted a bit.)

I know I know!! Get some spray-on tan!!! That would really work!

That tank still bothers me, when it's all stretched like that it doesn't look Simmonsy at all. Needs to be BAGGY! Big armholes!!

With a spray-on tan, though, it'd work. (What's it say, again?)

Wristbands are good.

What kind of shoes are you going to wear?

I know...I was saying that earlier the tank top is too tight. I'll probably swing into downtown and have another one made. Too toned??? Ok, I'll go on a diet of butter and Pepsi to put some fat on, just for ma' lil Soz.

I'm just going to wear white sneakers.

Too toned for Simmons!

You gotta do the spray-on tan, I'm telling you. If you do anything for me, do that. It'll pull it all together.

White sneakers sound good.

Though if you're getting another tank anyway, maybe go for primary colors? The wristbands are perfect, the baby blue satin works, the heather gray is too restrained.

If you could bedazzle it that'd be *kisses fingertips*, but I realize you probably don't have time for that. :-D

Primary colors? I don't know....the pictures I've seen of Simmons he's always matching. And I just bought the shorts.

What are you referring to, "Heather gray?" The tank is baby blue also, just lighter.

I'll get spray tan, that's easy.

Hehe, not bad Slappy, but you need to have shorter shorts -
remember, with Richard Simmons there is nothing left
to the imagination, he shows very vividly his assets (whatever they might be).

As sozobe said, you need to get a tan - the orange kind
Simmons uses.

I almost bought chick shorts, but they were REALLY short. I'm going to safety pin them up a little higher.

Nut huggers.

Slappy why don't you go as a muscle. Since you already have muscles on your arms, you would have to make a muscle looking thing for the torso down to your knees.

Oh, it looks gray in the picture.

That ensemble seems too subdued to me. If it were those colors, it'd be spiffed up somehow (check out CJ's pic for what I meant by bedazzled!!). And CJ is totally right about the shorts needing to be shorter and less baggy, but the ones you have would do in a pinch.

Chick shorts chick shorts chick shorts!!

This isn't a costume to do halfway, or nobody'll get it.

Yeah, I'm with sozobe - chick shorts, chick shorts!!!!

Get a wider dark t-shirt and buy some glitter pens at the store and paint some stars or other silly stuff on it, and girly shorts.

Slappy is the last guy on this planet that needs help to pick out a Halloween costume.

You need a boom box with "Sweating to the Oldies" playing on it.

And it wouldn't hurt to have someone dressed like David Letterman making fun of you.

Hmmm...you look like the gay version of Little Orphan Annie - maybe you should just buy a pokadot red dress and some maryjane's.

2 bottles of water, and you're good to go...