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Broken Promises, Faded Dreams,Everything's not what it seems

 
 
Reply Thu 8 Sep, 2005 08:15 am
Just a glimpse into my world, Nothing good really, just some random thoughts...

My goal, to escape the unbearable reality that I live in and go to a place far away where there are no worries, where you can stop time and erase the past. Where you can control your dreams and alter your mind… Where the bluest oceans provide the perfect waves and the skies have never shined so bright. Where the rain drops taste of candy and the birds sing songs of happiness. Where we shall never feel pain again and tears will only exist from happiness… Where the sound of a broken heart is only a distant echo in the back of my mind and no longer can be felt…. Where the pain of starving children is filled with the food of the gods and there is peace again…

My goal is for a world that is non-existent, a world that will only exist in my mind… My mind of hopes and dreams… my mind of erratic thoughts…

A broken girl only hopes for broken things, desperate to find love but looking in all the wrong places… and when she does find the love she has been looking for, she will be too broken to grasp onto it and watch it slip out of her fingers… then the broken girl will never be fixed…

As I fly upon the wings of hope, looking for the answers why, I have come to the realization that there are no answers to a question that can't be fully understood… The key to life lies within my soul, in the unreachable depths where those who go never come back…

In the fear of never escaping my darkest demons, I know I must fight them.. I must break them down just like they broke me down.. I am not speaking of revenge, only courage.

Afraid to let go of my thoughts, for if I let go, they may be lost forever, therefore a part of me will be lost forever.

Angry thoughts bottle up inside, tucked away, along for the ride. The ride of my life that will someday come to an end, will I die with all these thoughts bottled up inside of me? Will I ever be set free?

Embarrassed this is just thoughts, Nothing special Embarrassed
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Type: Discussion • Score: 0 • Views: 1,791 • Replies: 12
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Letty
 
  1  
Reply Thu 8 Sep, 2005 10:48 am
As a matter of fact, C.L. They are very special and beautifully written. I truly love your diction, and, as I once told you, keep your creative writing journal and share it with your therapist.
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Crazielady420
 
  1  
Reply Thu 8 Sep, 2005 10:53 am
Thank you Letty :-) Maybe someday I will share my poetry with everyone here, I am very sensitive when it comes to my poetry though, because it is my world, I love it!!

But thank you very much :-)
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Letty
 
  1  
Reply Thu 8 Sep, 2005 10:58 am
Remember, my dear. We want you to share things with us. It is your litmus test and our privilege.
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Crazielady420
 
  1  
Reply Thu 8 Sep, 2005 11:02 am
I stopped writing along time ago, so I am a little rusty... I stopped when I lost my inspiration (he was my first love)... and I am just starting up again, but I will post some old stuff a little later
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Letty
 
  1  
Reply Thu 8 Sep, 2005 11:06 am
I understand what you mean by inspiration, honey. When Cavfancier died, I lost the muse, it seems.
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Crazielady420
 
  1  
Reply Thu 8 Sep, 2005 12:14 pm
I'm sorry, My inspiration became another person one day, it was like he just decided to wake up and break my heart and almost break my arm too (he threw me up against a wall because he was on drugs and mad and then he later said, referring to me, that he "put that bitch in check"... so I gave up on having him as an inspiration... it wasn't worth it...
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yitwail
 
  1  
Reply Thu 8 Sep, 2005 12:21 pm
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Bekaboo
 
  1  
Reply Thu 8 Sep, 2005 03:13 pm
I recognise those yitwail and I don't know why...

Then you said Keats and hmmm one of my best friends worships him

Are they from the poem that's about an urn or something? (you can tell i never took English...)
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yitwail
 
  1  
Reply Thu 8 Sep, 2005 03:24 pm
Bekaboo, they sure are! from Ode on a Grecian Urn. i'm agnostic, so i don't worship anyone or anything, including Keats, but he wrote lots more beautiful poetry, most of them quite short too. just google and you'll find a lot of them online--i especially like Ode to a Nightingale and Bright Star.

in fact, i just googled this manuscript in Keats' handwriting of the beginning of Ode on a Grecian Urn, including the lines i quoted! Surprised i hope CL doesn't mind her thread being diverted for this.

http://englishhistory.net/marilee/grecian-george.jpg
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Crazielady420
 
  1  
Reply Thu 15 Sep, 2005 06:19 am
Broken promises, faded dreams
Everything's not what it seems
Sleep cures pain but it doesn't last
Dreams take over but reality comes back

Times change, people don't
Want to love you, but I won't
Close your eyes, No more lies
Can't go through, not for you
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Crazielady420
 
  1  
Reply Thu 15 Sep, 2005 06:21 am
Body weak, mind strong
Head hurts, thoughts race
Actions right, words wrong
Heartbeats slow, pick up pace

Day ends, nights begins
Tides rise, Tides fall
The innocent, those who sin
Love me? Not at all
0 Replies
 
Crazielady420
 
  1  
Reply Thu 15 Sep, 2005 06:23 am
Standing on the ledge, looking over the edge
Choice to live or die
Will you try to fly?
Or back away from death,
Breathe your last breath
Is the chance worth taking,
is life worth making?
Step away and take a look
At the life you almost took
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