Monologue for stage.

And Whatever

As I sat there watching her kiss him in front of me I didn't really take it in. It seemed real enough but it seemed like some one else's real. Maybe it was the fact that the whole bar was loaded up on tequila and cocaine and that no one seemed to notice emotion just sensation. There was little regard for consequence in this world how could I be angry when I myself played the same coked up games. I didn't really care in the moment but I knew I should care, I got up and walked away from the table leaving them kissing, knowing that if I wasn't watching it would probably stop. Ten minutes later he was by the bar and she was still sitting at the table. Whatever I thought; I'm too cool for this ****, who needs to deal with this on a Friday night, besides I can't blame her I'm not his girl friend just some stupid girl in love with him, or at least was in love with him. Lately I keep asking why I even care about him at all? Bottom line is his bar is my meal ticket, if he's not paying for me I can find some one to pay for me there, basically I don't need money to get drunk there so that's one of the reasons and the most important reason for my interest I suppose. Money can't by love but tequila cocaine and some charm can by you one hell of a good night. Oh and good looks and a stylish outfit can get you most things albeit superficial.

I hate that bar, I hate that man, I hate it so much. I'm a twenty year old living a life that scares me even some times. A life that could do with some more ordinary, I don't know what that is; ordinary is a word that applies to another universe certainly not my life. But I chose to live like this so I must dig it right? (beat) **** it, come midweek I'll be back there, suburban life is way too boring to be clean. I want the flashiness of a rock n roll life style synonymous with rock stars as oppose to twenty something middle class Jo'burg wannabes.

She came out the toilet, this is about half an hour after sticking her tongue down the throat of a man I feel very territorial about, comes out there smiling warning me not go into the cubicle as she just had a coke **** (for those of you who don't know cocaine kinda screws with your stomach) she even gives me her body spray to freshen the air. Great I think I can't hate her she's loaded, I'm loaded she doesn't know the inside of my head; the inside of his head, she saw a chance for a good time and took it, who can blame her? I'm a bit of hedonist myself I can relate. God I hate her for being so enduring.

I can't force the anger it's just not there, I see him sitting at the bar chatting away to some guy now and you know what whatever, who cares, look at this place it's a circus, I'm a mess he's in more of state then any one except for my one friend who's so drunk she's trying to kiss the drug dealer who's trying not to kiss her. Any ordinary person would run away, ordinary that's a funny notion, but I sit down at the bar find some other sucker to buy me my next tequila shooter and the beat goes on and whatever who the **** cares.