Aspiring Poet

Hello everybody, I'm a newbie and this is my first post.
I'd like to get some feedback as an amateur poet. Please tell me what you think of these and be honest, I won't be offended.

Pity

What a feeling, when you are kneeling
They will feel it for you no matter what you do,
You are what you are, your past is a scar,
You future, uncertain, but look beyond that heavy curtain
And a cold, hard tundra you will see, It's never what you want it to be
Love, compassion, concern or worry; It's true meaning is so blurry
Emotions in disguise, like narcissism and self-centeredness,
You don't know that you're feeling them but you feel them no less.
When you see it on the news, so many lives we lose
And we feel witty when we feel pity:
A scorching, lifeless desert which should give some alert
To lend a helping hand, but by feeling it we've just fanned
Those white-hot flames; we just forget the names
Staying in the shade, never giving aid
But feeling that feeling that gets them to kneeling
And puts you on an imaginary pedestal, way up high, above us all
And then you feel witty, again feeling pity
Making them dance to your ditty; You are the lion and they a kitty
And you should be contrite but the burden seems so light
Until, one day, down it comes and you find it no longer numbs
Your pain, held tightly inside; the deep secret you could not confide
For you yourself did not know, unaware, you put on a show
You thought it was truth but it was all lies from this emotion's most elaborate disguise,
What an amazing illusion, which causes the pittied such confusion
And in the end weighs a ton, this unknowingly dark emotion:
Pity





Locked Out

I've got a sneaking creeping malaise,
My mind tells me it's just a phase,
If I would only search for the true answer,
It's in my heart where I can't enter.

I have no key and security's tight
Ignorantly, unknowingly it's myself I fight,
For I've hidden the key from myself,
It's just another thought upon a shelf,
In that dusty room of my inner mind,
The room I never search for and never find;
So far in my life I've only outlined
What I've really thought or felt, really known,
And this battle is certainly not my own;
It is the struggle for conformity, sameness,
A need to bo like everyone else and no less.

From this I feel only a sneaking, creeping malaise,
Unaware that it's much more than just a phase,
I have lost my ability to feel,
I've locked myself out of my mind, my heart and what's real.



So...any good?