Define Paedophilia...

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How would you define paedophilia?

Never mind what the law says - according to the law, a 16-year-old boy might (not sure whether I've got this right...) be considered a paedophile if he has sex with a 15-year-old girl, which doesn't seem quite right, to me at least.

So I don't want an official definition - I want to know what you would consider wrong or inappropriate, and would label as paedophilia.

For example... I am nineteen years old. If I had consentual sex with a 15 year old girl (let's say for the sake of argument that she were my girlfriend and we loved each other), would that be wrong? Would you call that 'paedophilia'? Where would you draw the line? etc., etc...

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Pedophilia is the sexual interest in a pre-pubescent child. If the younster is post-pubescent, it is called ephebophilia.

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I am nineteen years old. If I had consentual sex with a 15 year old girl (let's say for the sake of argument that she were my girlfriend and we loved each other), would that be wrong? Would you call that 'paedophilia'? Where would you draw the line? etc., etc...

In most civilized places that I am aware of, 15 is below the age of consent. As such, she is considered legally incapable of consenting to sex. You could be charged with statutory rape.

http://www.loveandlearn.com/questions5/statrape/default.htm

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no one really cares about the "law" the important thing to consider is why the law exists, if such a thing is hurting anyone. if she is not capable of consenting. thus i personally believe that in most cases its wrong, and that is why the law was created, however in some cases its fine, say if she is smart and understands what is going on, or more mature than other girls her age, or something. i mean why was the law created in the first place? if you're a nice guy i think its fine long as its not abuse.

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iknow wrote:

i mean why was the law created in the first place? if you're a nice guy i think its fine long as its not abuse.

You may think it's fine, but if the girl's parents call the cops, Agrote is in deep doo-doo. No matter what you think, it is still against the law.

Remember this?

I was consensual, and the boy loved Mary Kay. They are now married, but only after she spent a good chunk of time in the pokey!

http://www.crimelibrary.com/criminal_mind/psychology/marykay_letourneau/1.html

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Having sexual intercourse with a sexually mature minor (i.e., one capable of procreation) is not pedophilia; having sex with a prepubescent child (or sexual attraction to the same) is.

There was a similar discussion of what constitutes pedophilia on a thread titled "Am I a Paedophile."

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I'm not really asking about the law, or about the dictionary definition of paedophilia. Let me reduce the discussion to just one question or so...

How old do you think a person must be before it can be morally acceptable for someone over the legal age of consent to have sex with them? And why that age?

So for example, regardless of what the law says, do you think it would be morally okay for a 19 year old to have sex with a 15 year old? and if not, why not?

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all sex is icky, no one of any age should have to endure such an abomination, I, personally, am pure as the driven snow (I also prefer 13 year old girls)

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iknow wrote:

So for example, regardless of what the law says, do you think it would be morally okay for a 19 year old to have sex with a 15 year old? and if not, why not?

Well, it depends on the case.

See, I'm one of those people that's all "18 year olds should NOT have sex with anyone under 18!"... but that's just in general. 'Cause, honestly, there are 15-year-olds out there that are more ready than some of that 19-year-old's peers.

Psh... personally, I'm a 14-year-old girl (sup pedos? ;-*) and I'm not plannin' on having sex anytime soon, but I'm sure I'm more ready for it than some 30-year-olds out there. [Not that I'm all that ready! It's just that there are some people who can legally have sex that totally aren't ready at all.]

So, yeah, I think it's dumb that there's a distinct line there -- like, how it's illegal for someone who's 17-and-364-days to have sex with someone who just turned 18, but you really do have to draw the line somewhere.

Even so, if this 15-year-old is in love with this 19-year-old, and they're emotionally, physically, and intellectually ready... sure, they should go for it. I mean, it's not fair that an 18-year-old and a 20-year-old could legally have sex even if the 20-year-old is dumb as rocks, say, has the mental capacity of a 12-year-old, yet a 16-year-old and an 18-year old can't do it even if they're both lightyears ahead of that 20-year-old in maturity.

Quote:

I'm not really asking about the law, or about the dictionary definition of paedophilia. Let me reduce the discussion to just one question or so...

How old do you think a person must be before it can be morally acceptable for someone over the legal age of consent to have sex with them? And why that age?

[About the dictionary definition -- like someone already said, pedophilia is attraction to prepubescent children. Attraction to people around 12 - 14 is generally called ephebophilia. But I know you don't care, so I'll shut up.]

In answer to your question, there's no one age that someone should have to be, in order to legally have sex with someone who's over 18. It totally varies. Which sucks, 'cause you can't let a law slide from person to person, but ehh. Generally, if the situation is morally okay in the first place, you won't run into the law anyways. Ideally, that is. But hey... life sucks sometimes.

iknow wrote:

no one really cares about the "law" the important thing to consider is why the law exists, if such a thing is hurting anyone. if she is not capable of consenting. thus i personally believe that in most cases its wrong, and that is why the law was created, however in some cases its fine, say if she is smart and understands what is going on, or more mature than other girls her age, or something. i mean why was the law created in the first place? if you're a nice guy i think its fine long as its not abuse.

I agree with what you're saying, except for the "nice guy" thing, as that's completely subjective and not that relevant.

The law is fine; like I said before, you gotta draw the line somewhere. But morally, there ARE cases where it's "okay", in my opinion.

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agrote wrote:

I'm not really asking about the law, or about the dictionary definition of paedophilia. Let me reduce the discussion to just one question or so...

How old do you think a person must be before it can be morally acceptable for someone over the legal age of consent to have sex with them? And why that age?

So for example, regardless of what the law says, do you think it would be morally okay for a 19 year old to have sex with a 15 year old? and if not, why not?

Leaving all considerations of legality aside, there isn't a specific age; people don't develop physically and emotionally at a uniform rate. For such a relationship to be okay, I would argue for the following:

1) The person of questionable age must be both emotionally and physically mature enough for such a relationship. Since emotional maturity is somewhat subjective, and since we're already pretending this issue isn't already governed by law, I would suggest consulting trusted and relatively objective elders who know the person of questionable age in this manner.

2) The older party must have no potentially coercive authority over the younger. This gets a little dicey because age confers a level of authority that varies by culture. In the U.S., a 19 yr. old is an adult and a 15 yr. old is not. A 19 yr. old may rightly claim responsibility for his or herself while a 15 yr. old is still the responsibility of others. To many adolescents, that makes the 19 yr. old more like their parents than a peer. However, some 15 yr. olds have the necessary level maturity to really take responsibility for themselves while some cognitively normal 19 yr. olds have childlike maturity levels. The point is that there's a morality problem if one party perceives the other as having more authority.

In my experience a 19 yr. old generally has no business with a 15 yr. old; the differences in maturity and perceived authority are too great. But then again, my great grandmother got knocked up at 15 by my great grandfather who was 30 and they had a very long and happy marriage. (Oddly enough, they died at the same age--he died at 84 when I was 3, she died at 84 when I was 18.)

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Maturity happens when it happens. That aside, if legal matters came into it there is clearly a time but again maturity (both physical and mental) make age guidelines somewhat of a problem. A 14 year old can be physically and mentally more prepared than a 17 or 18 year old. At 14 I was physically mature enough but my mental level of maturity did not arrive to a decent level until I was into my twenties, whereas my sisters friend was mentally more prepared by 14 and yet not physically ready yet. It's all very complicated and pedophilia as such indicates a need to go after a child. It goes beyond just a younger person...let's say a 60 year old man with a 30 year old woman or a 60 year old woman with a 25 year old man. Place the 60 year old with a prepubescent 10 year old and something seems to be more than a little bit warped (my view at least).

As for me, I am still not really mature enough for the entire sex and relationships deal although it has never stopped me. Also on a more personal note I believe that anyone over their particular governments legal age (16/18/21/) should not be getting involved with somebody under that legal age.

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Those seem like mostly sensible answers. Consentual sex with someone who is physically and mentally prepared for sex is okay.

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How the heck do you know if your ready for sex unless yuo do something sexual!!!??

I know we are all differnt but I think we should wait til we are 25.
It would allow us to mentally mature as well as physically.
There would be none of that pressure when your a teenager to lose your virginity(coz apparently that makes you cool!!).

Someone said it is ilegal to have sex with a prepubescent girl(ie- one who is incapable of procreation)Does that mean she has to wait til she gets her period, so she can get pregnant!!??

Obviously I can only speak from a girls point of view but sex can be freaky!!
Ask yourself how would you have to feel about someone before you let them but their 'bits' in you!!

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material girl wrote:

I know we are all differnt but I think we should wait til we are 25.
It would allow us to mentally mature as well as physically.
There would be none of that pressure when your a teenager to lose your virginity(coz apparently that makes you cool!!).

Hooray for many many years of extreme sexual frustration!

You silly person. Rolling Eyes

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material girl wrote:

Someone said it is ilegal to have sex with a prepubescent girl(ie- one who is incapable of procreation)Does that mean she has to wait til she gets her period, so she can get pregnant!!??

It is illegal to have sex with a prepubescent girl. It is also illegal to have sex with post-pubescent minors who are below the age of consent. Read the posts more carefully.

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agrote-maybe there is something wrong with me.My body has no sexual desire at all.Tho I wouldnt say no if someone I liked (of legal age)offered.
Not everybody has it on their mind 24-7, and you cant miss what you never had.

What would happen if two 14 year olds had sex?Would either be punished?

What about gay relationships.
I dont know what the age of consent is anymore regarding gay people but I found it funny when I read the age of consent was higher fo gay people as the government thought they needed more time to work out if they were gay and didnt want them to make a 'mistake'!!
A straight 'mistake' is fine, but a gay one ...ooh noooo.

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And lesbianism.According to Queen Victoria lesbians dont exsist so there were no laws for them.
Are there any now?

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material girl wrote:

And lesbianism.According to Queen Victoria lesbians dont exsist so there were no laws for them.
Are there any now?

Lesbians or laws? Rolling Eyes

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Hahaha,laws silly.

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material girl wrote:

you cant miss what you never had.

Oh yes you can!!

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agrote wrote:

material girl wrote:
you cant miss what you never had.

Oh yes you can!!

but you can't have what you missed

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Define Paedophilia...

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