1
   

Wasteland

 
 
Vex86
 
Reply Fri 19 Aug, 2005 02:44 pm
befor you try to read this just know iv havent done this in awhile so it may come off as complet crap Rolling Eyes

Wasteland

The wasteland stretches out in a endless array
Of broken and neglected things like a rag doll thats
seen its better days sweep away in a midsummers rain

All that seems to remain here now is memory of
Later days and the unpursued dreams that sparkled
a life time ago in a childs eye

The wind howls the dust swirls and thoughts stir
Of when we ran like the wind freely and without care
Oh how we loved back then it came easly like our next breath

But we hurt others and we hurt ourselves
Maybe thats how we have ended up in these wastelands
That just trail off into the setting suns red glare
  • Topic Stats
  • Top Replies
  • Link to this Topic
Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 591 • Replies: 2
No top replies

 
Letty
 
  1  
Reply Sat 20 Aug, 2005 06:51 am
Vex, far from being crap, buddy. Aside from a few errors in punctuation, which does not detract from your theme. I really like this poem, especially this stanza:

The wind howls the dust swirls and thoughts stir
Of when we ran like the wind freely and without care
Oh how we loved back then it came easly like our next breath
0 Replies
 
Vex86
 
  1  
Reply Sat 20 Aug, 2005 08:51 am
when i wrote that it may come off as crap i meant the way it reads
to me it just doesnt come off right maybe a better way to put it is
it doesnt read the way i truely want it to.

i like that stanza too i had it wrote another way but it wouldnt fit right
umm how did it go..
of days long ago when we ran like the wind free and wild
Oh how we loved back then easly and so many
But we hurt others and in turn hurt ourselves
thats not the exacte thing i had but its rather close

as always thank you for your comments Miss Letty
0 Replies
 
 

Related Topics

What inspired you to write...discuss - Discussion by lostnsearching
It floated there..... - Discussion by Letty
Small Voices - Discussion by Endymion
Rockets Red Glare - Discussion by edgarblythe
Short Story: Wilkerson's Tank - Discussion by edgarblythe
The Virtual Storytellers Campfire - Discussion by cavfancier
1st Annual Able2Know Halloween Story Contest - Discussion by realjohnboy
Literary Agents (a resource for writers) - Discussion by Craven de Kere
 
  1. Forums
  2. » Wasteland
Copyright © 2025 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.03 seconds on 08/07/2025 at 01:34:50