6
   

Is it normal for men to try picking up women this way?

 
 
Reply Sun 5 Feb, 2023 05:13 pm
Please bear in mind that the primary reason I feel I'm out of touch, and would like some clarity/perspective, is because... due to the fact that I was homeschooled, I grew up in the middle of nowhere for most of my childhood, and also... due to some other reasons I'd rather not go into here, I feel I'm still a tad ignorant/inexperienced because I never really started going anywhere by myself until I was already in my later twenties.

Even so, I have known the basics for a long time on what to watch out for if you're a woman going out by herself, and what kinds of areas to steer clear of if you don't want to get into trouble, etc etc. And for these reasons, (especially since I'm that type of person who rarely wanders from familiar areas, and I'm very goal-oriented to the point where I go to a place, conclude my business and leave immediately) I have rarely had any problems.

Plus I'm fortunate enough to live in a suburban area where, although crime has increased somewhat in recent years, people obey the rules and leave each other alone for the most part. And another thing that helps in my case is that I never, EVER go outside after dark, unless I'm going with someone else in a car.

The thing is though, there seems to be a gradual increase in men who occasionally try to approach me in a car and offer me a ride.

So I guess one primary thing I am curious about here, (and I am asking anyone who has had a lot more experience in life and being out and about than I have) well... has this always been a normal thing, or has there been an increase of it in recent years or something?

I mean, I'd say that most of the time, I can go out and not be bothered by anyone. But especially over the last couple of years, for some reason, it seems like there's been a moderate increase in how often this happens. And it seems to happen moreso during the Summer.

For the most part, I haven't really given it TOO much thought because I've never been threatened, and for the most part, I've found that if I say no to someone, they go away and seldom bother me again.

But there was something that happened earlier today which... well, I would hardly call it alarming, but it's just that one guy (a rather ugly one at that, even if that wasn't his fault) was VERY persistent.

I was simply walking home from the post office, where I happened to walk past a parking lot I've been by a thousand times, and someone apparently noticed me. He honked his horn and called out to me a couple of times, but I ignored him and kept walking. He even kept calling after me, "Hey lady!" and honked his horn a couple more times. I crossed the street, then turned and started to head up in another direction.

A few moments later, the guy in the car finally pulled up alongside me and called out to me specifically. I asked him in a snippy tone what he wanted, and he asked if he could give me a ride, and said he would pull over just up ahead. He did so, and I continued right on walking as though I'd barely noticed him at all, though he did honk at me again. After that, he took a hint and drove away, headed in the opposite direction.

It's just that this was the first guy I've encountered like this who was that persistent. And... I guess I'm just finding it a little odd, and a bit unnerving, because in my limited experience, I could imagine this happening if the guy was already acquainted with me from someplace and had developed an attraction for me or something. But this was a guy I swear I've never seen before, someone who just happened to notice me when I was walking by out of the blue.

Again, I guess I'm just a little curious... has this kind of thing increased in recent years? Or has this always been a thing in some ways?

Thanks in advance!
 
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Sun 5 Feb, 2023 05:17 pm
@Lenoralawn,
It's existed, for sure. I honestly just recall it one time when I was a kid.
Lenoralawn
 
  -1  
Reply Sun 5 Feb, 2023 05:27 pm
@jespah,
Is it okay if I ask how long ago that was? ^^;
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 Feb, 2023 03:27 am
@Lenoralawn,
No, questions like that are often considered rude by neuro typical people.
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Mon 6 Feb, 2023 05:56 am
@Lenoralawn,
Before you were born. Smile
IzabelleGlass
 
  -2  
Reply Mon 6 Mar, 2023 05:32 am
@jespah,
Hey there, welcome to the forum! I'm sorry to hear about the uncomfortable experiences you've been having with men approaching you in their cars. This kind of behavior has been happening for a long time, and it's not uncommon for men to try to pick up women this way.
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Mon 6 Mar, 2023 06:01 am
@IzabelleGlass,
Thanks for the welcome from someone who's never been here before! About 21 years too late, though....
0 Replies
 
WilliamClifford
 
  0  
Reply Thu 23 Mar, 2023 02:49 am
@Lenoralawn,
Hi! Approaching strangers in cars and offering them rides has always been a potential danger, and it's important to be cautious and aware of your surroundings when out in public. While it's difficult to say whether or not there has been an increase in this behavior recently, it's always important to trust your instincts and take appropriate action if you feel unsafe. If someone is being persistent and making you uncomfortable, it's okay to say no and remove yourself from the situation.
0 Replies
 
CalamityJane
 
  2  
Reply Thu 23 Mar, 2023 04:44 pm
@Lenoralawn,
Do not get in anyone's car! So many kidnappings happened lately and they happen in lot of small town settings where women are driven to remote areas and kept for weeks/months, even years in captivity.

Any respectable man who is trying to meet you will not take this approach to
pick you up. Stay clear of these men and stay safe!
0 Replies
 
PoliteMight
 
  -2  
Reply Thu 23 Mar, 2023 09:05 pm
@Lenoralawn,
Well you posted a bunch of gibberish.

...

You take the ride you take the ride but it does not mean your going to go back to his place. I knew a girl I was walking with randomly while heading from school late at night ( 11pm ) . She was fine, petite, and all. Honestly she just wanted to stop walking and the moment she turn to go to her destination ( which was bus-stop ) somebody pulled up to drop her off at her destination.

That was not anybody trying to pick anybody up. She just did not want to walk anymore.

...

I knew these girls in highschool and I was messing with them a bit. They always had the same skirt, tube-top, on and etc. Honestly they were not the nicest looking girls.

I am outside walking home, and I see these guys ( a lot older, but nice looking ) talking to them. They are going on about "being in town" and
joking about "looking for a good time". Honestly those girls was looking for something to do. The reality is that "Because nobody was talking to them or paying them any mind they did not mind the company"

...

My woman's history ( Feminism 101 ) professor told us a similar story you said. From where she is from people going and coming from work would take a ride. She tried to get a bunch of students to take her ride ( cab ) for free ( because it was covered ). Because the bus was not dependable. But nobody wanted to ride in the cab, she had the door open for a good minute or two.

As with the above example it depends on how you communicate, where your from and what is the intention of getting in the car. You need to get them
"Death Wish" nonsense out of your head. Not like "Oh right baby gotcha now in the car/bathroom" commercial. Like two of us together bs. You gotta get that out-dated method of thinking out of your mind.

That being said those commercials of "not taking rides" is already paved inside our minds.
roger
 
  1  
Reply Thu 23 Mar, 2023 09:08 pm
@PoliteMight,
Your opinion does not surprise me at all.
0 Replies
 
 

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