My son lost his dad :-(

Oh no! Reading along in your "Child Custody" thread, I have found myself wishing all kinds of things upon yizr ex. But after this, I can't help but feel sorry for him. Condolences, and all the best for your son and yourself!

Thanks JB. My son has been in his room for a few hours and said he wanted to be alone for a while, so I think he's grieving now. I understand exactly why he wants to grieve alone because I remember wishing people would leave me alone when my father died. All I wanted to do was go off by myself and cry, so I plan on giving him all the space that he needs.
I'm just letting it all hang out myself. I've been crying almost constantly and my eyes are red and swollen. This is a good thing.
My son and I talked for a long time before he went in his room and he is as angry with the doctor that prescribed his father the pills as I was with my fathers Doc, so I told him that he needed to grieve in his own way when he was ready. He said he needed to be alone and I hope he's having a good cry, just like mom.

Thomas
You couldn't possibly have wished anything worse than I did upon him, but hey we had every reason to feel the way we did. He made my life so very difficult and the wishing bad things made it bearable.
I have no guilt about the bad things I wished upon him because I was simply blowing off steam.
I know he wish just as bad of things upon me, so we're even ;-)

Thanks for your kindness.

JB, that has to be one of the most eloquent things i have ever heard. i am in awe...


montana, again, big hugs again, i had a very close who's father died suddenly of a heart attack, it is very difficult. you and your son will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Dragon
I agree. What JB said touched me as well.

Thank you again and hugs right back.

(((Hugs))) for everyone

I just checked on my son and he's sound asleep. My boy needs his rest and I'll be there with open arms when he wakes up.

My poor boy :-(

Montana, I am sorry to read of your present circumstances. I am sure you will experience a wide range of emotions, feelings do not end when a person dies, the healing process is different for everyone, and there is no timetable. Concentrating on the good times can be comforting. It is also helpful to take extra good care of yourself.

Heart felt condolences to you and your son.

Tryagain
Thank you. It does take lots of time to heal from the loss of a loved one and I know we'll get through it just fine.
I'm the emotional one in the house, so of course I'll be crying for days. My son, like most men tends to keep things more inside and I just hope he gives himself a chance to grieve and not bottle his feelings inside.
I always believed that feelings should never be bottled up inside.

I'll be there for him to help him along, for however long it takes.

Montana, even in your grief you're a good mother to your son.

FreeDuck
Isn't that the way it's suppose to be? ;-)

Thank you. You made me smile :-)

Aaaaargh. That's gotta be way complex - for both of you.

In many ways, grieving a bad parent is way harder than grieving for one where it went well.....


I suspect, in some ways, that may go for co-parents as well???


Take care, both of you.

You're right, Deb. I think Dana is going to have a tough time of it, since I know he always hoped his father would come around and now that chance is gone.

As for me, I'll be ok. I'm just an emotional girl.

I hear ya.

Thank you much.

Just saw your news, Montana, I'm sorry.

Thanks Littlek

Oh my sweet Montana and Dana,

My very heartfelt sympathies to you both. The loss of your former husband must bring forth such mixed emotions as your posts well convey. I know your loss goes well beyond your own feelings, as you must be suffering for Dana as well. It is a wonderful thing that the two of you have each other and have such a close and loving relationship. You are a great mom and Dana is a great young man. Together you will make it through, but please know that all of us here that love you are here for each of you as well.

Love and hugs to the two of you.

May only the good memories remain in your hearts. Itll take time but believe me, you will have a flash memory of him sometime in the future and youll smile about it. Then you know youre on the way.

Oh, Montana.

I'm so sorry to hear this. As much as we've enjoyed venting our anger at his expense, I always knew you would be kind to him in a pinch. That's what makes you such a great person...your heart.

I'm kinda sorry we won't still be able to make jokes about him, though. I never even knew the guy, but he sure gave me some good laughs!

Your anger at the doctor for prescribing the pills is understandable, and quite predictable. Anger is one of the stages of grief. (My best one, in fact!) Remember, though, it's entirely possible his life would have been even worse than it was without those meds. He probably needed them to function. Is it possible he may have taken more than the amount prescribed? Just asking...

This has to be a mixed-up, emotional time for you. I would imagine that you're mourning not only the man, but the death of your hopes that his relationship with you and your son could be repaired. That's often harder than losing someone you get along with. I know. Still, I do hope once things have settled down, you will apply for that SSI. Your son deserves it, and maybe it will help him to receive one last gift from his father.

I wish I was there right now so I could give you a big hug.

Much love,

Eva

Im sorry to hear that Montana my condolences to you both.

Lady J
Yes, I'm having all kinds of feelings that I thought had vanished years ago, but now they are all coming to the surface and it is setting me back a bit.
If someone had told me yesterday that I still cared for him, I would have laughed in their face.
Of course a whole lot of what I'm feeling is for my son. He's my #1 priority, but who would have known what was burried under all that anger.
Dana and I are close and we'll get through it together, for sure.
Thanks so much for your kind words. It means so much to me.

Farmerman
Yeah, it seems that in an instant all the bad memories are gone, as if they were all just wiped away. It's very strange considering how I felt yesterday.
Thank you

I am so sorry to hear that Montana.
Your son must be devastated over the loss of
his father, despite the complete absence of being
a good parent to him. The chances to reconnect
with his father in adulthood are gone forever, and
the finality of it will be probably more prevalent for Dana
over the months to come.

Lucky for him, he's got a very caring mother to
console him in his pain.

My condolences to both of you (((hugs)))